Thursday, February 26, 2009

Jon and Blecht Plus Acht

Okay, so it is not a perfect rhyme. Shoot me.

Have you seen this show? Jon and Kate whatever the hell their last name is have 8 kids. Really, she is the reason why people should need a license before they have kids. One kid is too much for her. But, she has 8.

And she is annoying. No wait, annoying is a nice word for her. The proper word is 5 letters long but will get Blogger to make me R rated if I use it. So, it rhymes with snitch.

Seriously, has she ever gone 30 seconds without talking. Just 30 stinkin seconds. She probably yells at people in her sleep. Sighs. Makes noises. He probably only gets quiet when she is away - far, far away. Like in Siberia.

I can just picture them having sex. He is moaning "Oh baby..." and she starts in on him "That's not right. You need to do this instead. I don't like it when you do that. Why do you have to stick that in me? I don't like it in me. Do you have to put it in me?" This explains why they are stuck at 8 and not having 9, 10, or 11.

You know he has thought about divorce. But, he doesn't want those kids by himself. And sharing custody? Holy cow. Of course, it also helps that the tv gravy train stops if they get a divorce. What would he do then? A real job to support all 8 kids and Godzilla? That wouldn't work. And we all know she wouldn't work. She probably hasn't worked an honest day since, well, the Bunny Ranch fired her. (Look it up!)

Of course, if he ever killed her, you know he would be found not guilty. Not even not guilty by reason of insanity. Just not guilty. The whole defense would be showing several episodes of the show. A jury would see her and start cheering. Oh, wait, that's mean. They wouldn't cheer until they voted not guilty. Then they would throw a freaking party. Seriously, could anyone blame the guy if he off'd her? It is the only way to get sanity.

This show should be banned. Banned. Not just cancelled. Banned and all film of it burned. No one should be forced to watch this witch again. It should only be shown to captured Al Qaida operatives since it is more effective than torture and will confirm what they think of us being ugly Americans!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

SERIOUSLY - YOU HAD TO GO THE DESCRIBING THEIR SEX LIFE PATH!!! EWWWWWWWWWW, EWWWWWWWWWWW, EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

You have permanently scarred my mind! I'm thinking this little paragraph bumped your rating to the "R"