Thursday, March 26, 2015

Science fairs are a waste of time

A modified version of my email to the school district

I am writing to you about our district science fair. Simply put, this was a waste of time.

Let me back up. I am a very involved parent in the district. I have kids at two campuses and have volunteered at both schools. I have coached in the district two different sports at two different levels. I never turn down an opportunity to help our kids, whether its volunteering at the school or helping at the district office. But, I am now 0 for 2 in getting any feedback on the district science fair and why we bother with it. Maybe it is some Ed Code requirement. Maybe someone thinks it’s a good idea. I don’t know. But, it is a waste of time and resources.

My son and I came home from this year’s science fair. He entered an invention. His invention was simple: all natural, tear free baby shampoo. It was freaking brilliant, if I do say so myself. I know a thing or two about baby shampoo and this was genius. It is not earth shattering, isn’t going to change how the world works, and is not “fancy.” My kid isn't Elon Musk. I get it. But this was good! However, it is something that hasn’t been done in the approximately 40 years since Johnson and Johnson developed “No More Tears.”

At the school level, inventions are not judged. I don’t know why, and couldn’t get an explanation from the district science resource teacher. But, my wife and I volunteered to judge the school science fair. We were given a rubric and graded 40 or so projects, between the two of us. At no time did I translate the rubric to mean “It must use these words or else.” Apparently, I was wrong. I thought kids could use some creativity in figuring out what to write and didn't need us to shove words down their throat!

At the district level, inventions are judged. However, those scores are never given out. Never. Not once. Even if you ask for them. Seriously, how the fuck do you grade something and not tell someone the grade? I don’t know why or how. I have received an explanation, but it must be wrong for a school district. The explanation is that we don’t do it because we don’t want kids to feel bad. I will address this more later. I don't want idiots to feel bad so I guess I shouldn't tell them that they are idiots.

When I asked how my son did, I was told he did not place. Great. He wasn’t upset. I wasn’t upset. But, how did he do? What could he do better next year? How could he improve? After all, his project was seen by a lot of people prior to going to the district and the consensus was that it was a) very cool, b) innovative and c) impressive for a 5th grader. In fact, a patent attorney for Johnson & Johnson was impressed by it. Seriously, when a patent attorney tells you he likes a product that is based on a product for which he knows the patent, you take that as a sign of a good product!

The judges remain anonymous. Their scoring is a bit like figure skating in the 1990s Olympics – hidden. Trying to figure out why he didn’t do well, or if he did well, was a bit like trying to figure out why Qatar is hosting the 2022 World Cup. It is a good question, but impossible to answer. Maybe we should move the science fair to December? (Like 4 people laughed at that, but it is funny. Trust me.)

So, I asked the district science resource teacher. His response was that they don’t give out scores because kids could do well at the school level, but not as well at the district level. They don’t want the kids to feel bad. Isn’t that what school teaches? For example, when I coached middle school wrestling this year, I had kids who were really good for being in 7th grade. Maybe he or she was the best wrestler at the school at 102 lbs, for example. We would go to a local tournament. Instead of being the best, my wrestler took 3rd place. We expand the pool of participants and the ability level to be the best goes up. As my wrestler made it to the county tournament, maybe he took 5th place. Again, the bigger the pool, the higher the competition, the better you have to do. It isn't freaking rocket science. You may be the smartest kid in your class, but you aren't the smartest kid in the school!

Isn’t the science fair the same thing, but for science? My son may have had the best project at Sims. As he goes to the district, it may be that his 90 is only an 85 when compared to other kids at other schools. And, at the next level, maybe isn’t that good, but rather an 80? Are we now afraid of telling kids that it gets harder the bigger the pool of competitors?

Then, the resource teacher went through the rubric with my son and his poster board. He pointed out that my son didn’t list “Materials.” (I bold it as it appears on the rubric.) My son, instead, listed “My formula.” Under his formula, he listed his actual formula. Now, “Materials” is defined as “All items used for the project are listed in specific terms.” My son’s formula lists the ingredients used and the amounts used. Further, he lists them based on the trials he did. By definition, he met this criteria. He listed all items he used in specific terms. But, the issue appears to be that he did not use the term “Materials.” You must be a lemming and use our language, human!

One might think this was just a bad example. However, it was also pointed out that he did not write “Problem or Question” which is supposed to be “[t]he invention clearly identifies and solves a real problem or need.” My son listed “My Goal” and wrote “Why not make a baby shampoo that doesn’t hurt eyes through chemicals but uses natural ingredients?” Now, I fully admit I don’t have a PhD in science. But, I am pretty sure that my son’s goal was a question that identifies a real problem and solves it.

But, there are ten categories on the rubric. So, just two bad examples? No. My son called his “Research or Background” by the name “The Principles.” Yes, he used a synonym. I am not sure, but I think that synonyms are something we want kids to learn how to use. Otherwise, they would call everything a red balloon, and not an orange-red sphere attached to a string. This seems ridiculous.

When I pointed out to the resource teacher that there was no point to a project that gave no feedback, he disagreed with me. I explained to him, gently, that in 24 years of education, I never did an assignment that didn’t have feedback. After all, how are kids supposed to learn? Even in law school, the most draconian of educational facilities, there was feedback. Heck, when we coach sports, we give feedback. “Billy, that was a good attempt at the take down, but next time you need to put your head on the outside of his leg.” Billy hear's something good but also learned what to do next time.

In this case, there is no good or bad. There is simply nothing. The resource teacher told me that he did assignments where he only received a grade. I pointed out to him that a grade was feedback. It may not be detailed, but at least it is feedback. You may not like an 80, but you know you got a B. My son doesn’t know if he got an A, B, C or if he turned in a piece of junk.  Seriously, I don't know if it was A work or Z work. What the hell?

If you are going to score things on a scale of 1 to 100, you should at least give students the numerical score. Maybe, my son did a great job and got a 95 and was beat out by kids who scored 96, 97 and 98. That is very possible. But, maybe my son also scored a 62 and was beat out by kids in the 80s. That is also possible. And, either way, there is value to knowing the result.

Instead, I am left with a kid who is in 5th grade, has competed in two science fairs, and won’t enter any more because he is frustrated by a process that even he understands is unfair. Its not the result that bothers him, but that after doing weeks of work, his only feedback is “Sorry, it is not good enough and we won’t tell you why.” I asked him as we were leaving today what he learned, and he said “Nothing.” I asked again and again and that was his only response. This is a kid who has been on district honor roll, competes in sports, plays in the band and is involved with leadership programs at Sims. I asked him what he learned from the teacher and he said “Nothing.”

I tried talking to the teacher about my concerns. All he did was accuse me of yelling. I assure you I wasn’t yelling. Mr. Pierce knows my yelling and I would have been heard throughout the district office. But, in a room where parents are talking to their kids, you have a large number of people, and you are not allowed to make a point before being interrupted by a teacher, there is a need to be heard. I am sure I wasn’t yelling because no other parent stopped what they were doing to watch or listen. Yet, that was all your teacher could say.

In conclusion, the science fair is simply a waste of resources. If we are going to do this and NOT teach the kids what they did wrong (or what they did right), it has no educational value. Sure, my son learned how to make baby shampoo. But, he could have done that at home, avoided two trips across town to drop off and pick up his project, and spent his time learning other things. He could have worked on something without worrying about a rubric. The district science fair wants rote, boring potatoes powering light bulbs using only the language provided by the district. Quite frankly, it seems the antithesis of everything the district stands for, of its common core goals, and of good education. If we wanted our kids to recite back what we have taught them, we would teach them “just the facts.” I think the district needs to reconsider this waste of time and money.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

On hate.........

I am writing this with a Campari in my hand. Just remember that!

There is a lot I don't get. Some of it I don't get because I just am not very smart. Some of it I don't get because I don't want to spend the time trying to understand. Some of it I don't get because it simply is idiotic. I don't mean to be offensive, but some stuff is just idiotic.

For example, guys walking around with their pants sagging is idiotic. That went out of style in the 90s, I thought. Or, guys walking around dropping the F bomb around elementary school kids. That has always been idiotic. I don't get why people do these things because they are so idiotic that trying to understand them is a waste of energy.

You know what else is idiotic - hatred for a group of people. Let me give you an example. "I hate tall people because they picked on me when I was younger." This is idiotic. Just because a couple of tall people made fun of me when I was younger, doesn't mean all tall people are jackasses. Now, some of them may be. A lot of them may be. But I am sure there are some tall people who are nice. When I meet them, I will let you know. (I kid. I have a lot of tall friends. Tall, of course, being defined as taller than me, which isn't that hard since I am 5'5 - on a good day!)

Now, my example is extreme and idiotic. I get it. It was designed to make a point.

You know what I hear a lot of lately - I hate blank. One of the popular ones now is "I hate cops." I don't know why people hate cops, but they seem to hate cops a lot lately. Yes, some cops have done dumb things. You know what? Lots of people do dumb things. If you are reading this and have never done a dumb thing, raise your hand? Yeah, I thought so.

Of course, there is also the old stand-bys. "I hate ..." fill in any racial group of your choice. White people hate black people, black people hate white people, Hispanics hate both, and everyone hates Asians. Right? We have all heard this. Why? Because some douche in one of these groups does something and, instead of blaming the person, we blame the group. It wasn't Billy Smith that robbed me, it was "those white people" who did it. Dumb, of course, to the educated person - maybe. But it happens every single day.

We can also blame religions. We are not fighting a war against terrorism, we are fighting a war against Islam or Muslims or ............just a crazy idea, we are fighting a war against scary people who may be religious, but probably aren't. Of course, the Nazi's hated the Jews, and now Palenstinians hate Jews because, clearly, every Jewish person is responsible for what happens in Israel. Of course, that would mean every European was responsible for apartheid in South Africa until it ended.

I get hate. There are people I hate. It may be 4 people. It may be 5 people. But, it is specific people. I don't hate groups of people. I hate certain people. I hate people who have done mean, horrible things that cannot be forgiven. I don't hate groups. If everyone could try, just a little bit harder, than the world would be a better place. Maybe not much better, but a little better.