Get your mind out of the gutter - not going without clothes. Well, that works too. Especially on a woman. I don't really need to see guys without clothes. It is just not my thing. But, since I am all in favor of equal opportunity, get your mind out of the gutter, but you can picture your favorite person of either sex without clothes on while you read the rest of this post.
Some people need help. And I don't mean the kind of help they get from Clinton and Stacey on "What Not To Wear." By the way, that show should really be called "Clinton and Stacey: We Think We Are Cool, But We Aren't." Stacey needs someone to tell her she isn't that funny. And Clinton - well what can you say about a guy whose first name is really a last name? Seriously, would you take Bush Jones seriously? What about Obama Ryan? No? Of course not, so why would you take this guy seriously?
Anyway, here is my list of top fashion faux pas' that should be banned:
1. Running shorts - seriously, why do guys wear these? Does anyone have a reason? I would even take a bad reason. Yuck! I don't want to see Louie and Robbie bouncing between Paulie while you are running. Cover up!
2. Velour track suits - Ladies, really? You think these look nice? What is it? You think you want to go to the gym, but nah, not really? Are you going to break this out with your Coach shoes? It is not cool. It is not stylish. It should not be worn!
3. Speedos - banana hammock. Nuff said? Maybe, but not in my rant world. Guys, women do not want to see your "stuff," your "junk", or your "member." Put on something that has more material than a SI swimsuit model covered only in paint.
4. Bracelets - I get the Livestrong bracelet. I get a Susan G. Komen breast cancer bracelet. I do not get 100 bracelets. I don't get 50 bracelets. Heck, I do not get 10 bracelets. Why? Are you really supporting every freaking cause in the world? If so, I have a bracelet for you. And some prime real estate in Florida. Please. Stop with the bracelets. I do not want to see any more bracelets. Oh, and wearing them with your suit does not dress them up. It just makes it look like you do not have enough style to take it off with your suit. I won't wear my nice watch with a t-shirt and shorts if you will take off your dang bracelets with your suit.
5. Front and back cleavage - no, not up top, down low. I do not want to see your frontal cleavage. I do not want to see your rear end cleavage. Pants should fit. Your under garments, if you wear them, should fit. And fit does not mean I can see every inch. A little cleavage up top - very nice. A lot of cleavage up top - even nicer. But, there should be no cleavage below the Mason-Dixon line. Please.
6. Sweater dresses - it should either be a sweater or a dress, not both. If you want to wear a sweater, put on some jeans or nice pants. If you want to wear a dress, great. Guys like dresses. Guys do not like sweater dresses. They are not attractive. Stop. Take it off. And if it looks like a sweater mini-dress, then it should be burned. Send it to me and I will take care of it for you!
Feel free to post a comment with your fashion no-nos. I am sure there are more out there.
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2 comments:
You forgot high heels and jeans. Cause lets be honest, high heels do NOT dress you up and if your mama told you they do, she lied. High heels were meant to be worn with skirts and dresses even a nice pair of slacks, but not jeans. Wearing high heels with jeans is like wearing your underwear over your cloths, it's just not right.
Sweater dresses are great! Well, as long as you look like the Victoria's Secret models. Well heck, only a few of them can pull it off. Never mind, you're right about that.
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