To the lawyers: Huh?

As I have said before, I am an attorney. That's right. I admit it. My name is Slim Shady and I am an attorney. I am not ashamed of it. Well, sometimes I am. Like today.

You see, attorneys are always looking for ways to share information. It helps in what we do. The biggest thing attorneys do these days to share information is the use of email lists, or listserves. We use these to send an email to a large group of people at a time. It can be 10 people or 100 people or 1,000 people, or one list I am on has 4,000 people. It can be very handy or very, very scary. Think Invasion of the Body Snatchers scary.

Today, on one list, there were two conversations that worried me. The first was about the use of a word. There was a debate over whether a word was a noun or a verb. As if that is not bad enough, these folks started citing dictionaries. Seriously. I mean, if I say that telephone is an object and you say it is the act of calling someone, we could agree to disagree about it fairly quickly. I mean, I will still laugh at you behind your back, but that is to be expected if you say "I am going to telephone you." Dang it, the word is call. You are going to call me. Sheesh. But, I digress. The issue is that normal people will resolve this without resorting to the dictionary. Only attorneys take it that seriously!

Then, there was a discussion about talking to other people if you are an attorney. And how some attorneys have a hard time talking to "normal people." What are normal people? I think I am normal, although some may argue that point. Other than agreeing that Canadians are not normal, how do we decide on who is normal? And why are non-attorneys not normal? Heck, if anything, they are more normal. Just because I was dumb enough to go to college and then law school and never freaking graduate does not mean that I am better than anyone else. It just means I went to school longer.

Seriously, do you know a bigger group of people who you dont want to talk to at a cocktail party than attorneys? I mean, I have a few attorney friends. But it is a few. In fact, I can count them on one hand. Maybe two. Even you, Margaret Mary! But, most people don't want to talk to attorneys and this is why! Thinking you are better than other people or arguing over the proper use of a word? Get over yourself. You are not that important. Sheesh!