Monday, August 3, 2015

The Fish Hopper - a disaster

Don't say I didn't warn you if you go to this place. This will be a bit less PC than I can post on Yelp or Tripadvisor. 

Could we give zero stars in reviews for places that suck and not in the good way? That would be a better option until this place gets new management. And by new management, I mean fire the two dildos who I had to deal with. They couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag. 

However, before I rant too much, here are the positives:

1. Daniel, our server, was amazing. This guy should be at Mortons or Ruth's Chris or some other 5 star restaurant. He gets it. He knows how to take care of a table. The meal started off horribly (more on that later) but he did a great job getting it back on track. The guy is simply a genius.
2. Along with Daniel, Christian was great. He is one of the managers. This guy should be in charge. He is funny, smart, personable and understands customers. He may have one of the best senses of humor in the restaurant business. 
3. The food was great. The chef knows what he is doing. Every one of our meals was good. Why this guy is cooking at this POC is beyond me! 

Sadly, the good, even as good as Christian and Daniel were, was outweighed by the idiocy, the morons, and the complete lack of caring. I could have taken the best service in the world and the best food in the world, and the two dicks running this place would ruin that. 

Sad and what makes it worse is that this is apparently a family company with two guys who could not have been bigger douches if they tried. I always want to see a family succeed. I like family businesses. But you can't put an asshole in charge and expect to succeed. 

Before I rip into these two clowns, let me relate the story.

Two months ago, my mother in law made a reservation for my father in laws 70th birthday. She stopped in and checked it out. Then she called. There were 11 of us. She was told she had to deal with catering. Then catering told her to deal with the restaurant since catering only deals with 15 or more. So she called back. She made a reservation for 11 with a request that we have a table near the window. After all, the window views are part of the deal.

On Friday night, my mother in law called to confirm the reservation. She was told that they may not have a table for 11 (how that is possible, I have no idea) but that they would get us two tables close to each other. No one was ecstatic with this, but fine. We get it. Saturday night is busy. 

So, we get there and they tell us that they have no table. And, well, they don't really have two tables close to each other. After some discussion, we agree to take the two tables. They seat my in laws at a table for 6 with half the party. Right next to them is another table. But, apparently we can't have that one. They sit the other 5 of us halfway across the freaking restaurant. We were so far away, I couldn't see them without standing up. Seriously, I had to stand up to see them! I am not the world's tallest guy, but it may have been a Tiger Woods chip shot at the AT&T Pro Am to reach their table from our table! 

As we are walking past their table to our table, we notice a round table set for 6 that is clean and empty. It is 2 tables away from theirs. Its shorter than a late 70s MG to get from one table to the other. How hard can this be? But, they keep us going and going like the Energizer bunny. 

So, maybe they had a party of 6 for that table, even though we were sat at a table for 6? I don't know. But not 5 minutes later, they sit 5 people at that empty table. Well, that is when the worst customer service ever started. 

First, we have Steven. Steven thinks he is smarter than he is. He is a cocky guy who wants the world to be impressed that he is one of several managers at a small restaurant in Monterey. No one is really impressed by him. I think Steven thinks he has some idea what he is doing because someone called him a manager. I don't think Walmart would take him as a clerk, let alone a manager. If you are going to be cocky, you should at least be able to back it up for more than 5 minutes before you have to turn me over to your general manager. Let's just say that a McDonald's manager would have been more impressive than Steven.

Then we have Adam MacDonald. Adam apparently thinks that he can talk around issues without ever explaining to the customer that he may have been wrong. Adam told me that when they have a party of 11, they have to have two different waiters help the party. Under this thinking, any reservation for 11 or more would have to be sat in two separate areas of the restaurant. Why would you do this? And why wouldn't you tell people this when they make the reservation? It is simple courtesy. 

Adam is not comfortable enough talking to guests to do it out in public. So, instead of talking to me in front of the hostess stand, he brings me to a back room by the kitchen. It felt a little like a New Jersey mobster scene. In all of my years, I have never had a manager, let alone a GENERAL MANAGER (as his name tag makes so very clear) refuse to talk to me in public. 

Then, when this is pointed out to Adam, he tells me that I don't understand how his restaurant runs. That is what everyone wants to hear. The GM is smarter than the customer, even if the GM looks like he is a balding 15 year old. Apparently, customers in shorts are not smart enough to understand how to cook and serve food. 

I explained to Adam that there was this open round table they could have sat us at. He tells me that is not possible since the people sitting at the round table asked for a round table and he has to honor all requests. Um, we made a reservation and requested one table for 11. When you told us that wasn't possible, we then requested two tables close together. How come our requests were ignored and you honored theirs? Adam goes back to his favorite answer: I am just not simply smart enough to understand how it works. 

(Mind you, I grew up in a family where my dad ran businesses, where he had friends who ran businesses and where some of those friends ran very successful restaurants that served tourists.) 

Back to the story. Adam then explains that there is simply nothing he could do and we should have known this before. It is our fault for making the reservation. It is our fault that there is not one table big enough for 11. (Of course, he ignores the fact that there were two parties that night bigger than ours that had long tables put together.) It is our fault that he needs 2 servers to wait on a big table. (Of course, Daniel had our table and the round table that the other people sat at.) It is our fault that we simply aren't smart enough to understand this. 

I then asked him for his boss. I figured a general manager must report to someone. But, apparently, Adam is the HMFIC. He told me he doesnt have a boss. It must be cool to be a manager and not have anyone to report to. I wish that was my job when I worked for someone else. He basically acts like he is the head douchebag when he is just a lowly douchebag.

He reports to no one. He told me I could call HR if I wanted to file a complaint. Now, I get calling HR if there is harassment. I could understand calling HR if I was an employee. But can someone explain to me what HR has to do with a customer who is upset? 

As an aside, Mr. Shake, the actual owner, may be upset to learn that Adam thinks he is in charge. 

Let's just say that Adam has absolutely no idea how to interact with customers. I think his training came at a facility where he had no interactions with the public. Maybe he worked at a prison where the customer was always wrong. Maybe he has some experience in the grooming industry where he could ignore the dogs. Maybe he worked as a debt collector. But somewhere he missed that the customer is always right, or at least, you should make them feel that way.

So while Daniel and Christian were great, and while the food was very good, they get a one star rating because Adam and Steven couldn't figure out how to spell customer service, let alone give it.