One small act can change the world

This is a true story. Its a story of a simple act. But its a simple act that made a difference in one man's life. Its an act that helped one young man. Its an act that you can do.

Its a rainy morning in Sacramento, although it could be any city from New York to San Francisco, Anchorage to Miami. There is a Starbucks at the corner of two streets downtown. Inside, people are drinking their coffees, staying warm, eating food. They are enjoying the conversation, playing on their tables or phones, ignoring the people around them.

Outside, on one street, is a homeless man, dirty, sleeping, with  his dog next to him. He is in his 60s, probably, looks like he has had a rough life. He is there every week, refusing any offers of help. On the other street, sits a boy, probably 20. He sits with his back against the wall of the coffee shop. He is drawing with pencil on white paper. He draws a woman, long hair, a smile. His artwork is amazing.

Inside, watching, is a man. He sits there with two kids. The kids are talking and playing. The man watches the boy draw. He sees him add texture to her hair. He watches the boy draw a shirt. The boy adds a bra strap. The picture comes to life.

The man gets up. He walks to the counter and asks for the largest coffee that they have. The barista, knowing the man, asks why. The man explains that the boy outside is drawing and has a sign that he is homeless and is asking for food. The barista hands the man the coffee at no charge.

The man walks outside. He walks up to the boy. He says "That is some great artwork." The boy responds "Thanks." The man says "Here is a cup of coffee." The boy says "Thanks" and returns to his drawing.

The man walks inside. His son, who is a young teenager, asks to give the boy a bagel. The man opens his wallet, hands his son $5, and tells him to go get a bagel and bring it to the boy. The son walks out.

A bald man in the coffee shop is also sitting, looking outside at the artist. He hears the man's conversation with his son. He grabs a brown lunch bag. He grabs his sandwich out of the bag. He walks outside, has a conversation with the young artist, and walks back in.

The father says "That kid does great work." The bald man says "Yes, he is great. He told me he is homeless. I am homeless too, but I have plenty of food. I can share my food with him," The father looks back at the bald man. The bald man says "I heard your son offer to get him food. I figured I had extra food that I could offer to."

The father's son comes back. He walks up to the young artist and offers him the bagel. The boy grabs the bagel and offers his thanks. The artist takes a bite out of it, hungry. The son comes in, happy that he could help.

The father's daughter, no older than kindergarten, asks to give the artist some food. The father makes a purchase at the coffee shop, hands it to his daughter, and tells her to bring it to the boy. The girl goes outside, with her brother, and says "Here you go" to the boy. The boy smiles back at her, says "Thanks" and puts it in his backpack for later.

Another patron watches this. He walks outside, sees the boy drawing, and offers him $20 to help offset the cost of a place to spend the night. It will be another cold, rainy night. The boy smiles, continues his drawing, and watches people walk by, most of them ignoring him, not even making eye contact.

The moral of the story: one man wanted to give a homeless guy a cup of coffee. That turned into a free cup of coffee, a bagel, a scone, a sandwich and $20 to help the artist find a place to stay. It may not be the ending of racism or ageism or any other ism, but to this young boy, it is a chance for a fresh start, a shower, some food, and some hope.

What s your small act to change the world?

What I have learned from Facebook today:

This originally started as a quick rant on Facebook, but I decided to go off!

1. I can't eat any food because it may cause cancer or some other horrible disease;
2. The people I am friends with are miserable and always unhappy;
3. Life sucks for most people;
4. We all suck as parents/kids/spouses/partners;
5. We need to all work out 18 hours a day and it has to be the RIGHT way.
6. Everyone is going to disconnect from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, cell phones, pagers and beepers.

Look, I don't get it. I recognize that I am not the brightest guy reading this. But lets be , a) I eat food because I like it and it may cause cancer, but breathing your smoke can cause cancer too, walking down the street may cause cancer, and quite frankly, not eating WILL lead to dying and since I don't want to die, I think I will keep eating and take my chances. Maybe you don't like beef or chicken or fish or you think we should eat Paleo or only protein or only carbs. But, at the end of the day, you have NO ACTUAL idea what is going to kill you. I am sure of that. So if we are going to cut out all of the stuff we eat because of what it MIGHT do, then we might as well cut out driving, walking, running, exercising, and anything else that could lead to you dying. Sheesh!

B) You aren't that unhappy. Seriously, if you think you are, you have depression and you need to see your doctor. Today. Now. Stop reading and go see your doctor. If you just want empathy or sympathy or some other athy, then pick up the FREAKING TELEPHONE and call someone. Seriously. Make a phone call. Talk to a real, live human being. I am sure he/she/shim/it can help you. But posting it on Facebook is not healthy for you. I am sure of that. You may have a bad day. You may have a bad week. Heck, you can have a bad month. But if every day is crap, crap, crap, crap, you are suffering from a medical condition. Go get help. Please?

C) Life is never fun for anyone. Ever. Nor has it been since about February 3, 2004. (Figure out why I picked that date and get back to me.) Seriously, no one has had any fun since then. It is just a miserable experience for everyone. GET OVER IT!

D) I am the worst father in the world. Thankfully, I appear to be tied with everyone else. I am also the worst son in the world, the worst husband in the world. I clearly have no idea how to parent and I need everyone else to tell me how to raise my kids. I also need you to tell me how to love my wife, how to be a son, and how to be a human being. Seriously, I am surprised I know how to walk down the street safely. Would you like to teach me that too? I know, a white paper on the proper way to walk down the street. I am so writing that as soon as I figure out how to have fun, be happy and eat.

E) I clearly am a fat ass who is out of shape and cannot properly take care of myself. I must do cross fit, check fit, fit fit, fat fit, P90X, P90X2, P90X3, and its long lost cousin Takeadump180. If I do not do all of these exercises, then I am a failure. I am fat. I am out of shape. I am not going to live to be 100. I will not be able to run a marathon, a half marathon, a fun run, a color run, a gray run, a black and white run, and a FREAKING run run. I will also not be able to swim around the world, hike a mountain or do anything else that requires any physical exertion because I am clearly a loser.

F) I am still surprised that I can figure all of this out since everyone is constantly disconnecting from technology. There are no people on Facebook or Twitter. No one checks text messages or cell phones or calls anyone. No one knows how to talk or communicate.

And, I sure as shit know, that no one knows how to say to someone "How are you?" I don't mean How are you as in hey, I mean how are you really, truly, actually doing. Apparently that is not something that is possible to ask anyone anymore!

Now I am going to ride my bike and ignore everything I am doing wrong, although I am sure I ride my bike wrong too!

The Elk Grove Auto Mall ads

So last night I was laying in bed and a commercial came on for the Elk Grove Auto Mall. We see the Mayor of Elk Grove, Gary Davis, and the Vice Mayor, Jim Cooper. We see a few more folks from the City and a member of the Cosumnes CSD board. They all say how great the Elk Grove Auto Mall is and why we should shop there. Basically, it comes down to money.

Now, let's spend about 30 seconds analyzing this:

1. Why is the mayor or the vice mayor in an ad for any business? That is an endorsement of that business. Do they shop at the auto mall? Are they willing to be in ads for other local businesses? I don't see Jerry Brown endorsing Intel or Apple or Google.

2.Or are they now in the endorsement business? What about other businesses? Is the endorsement up for sale? If you bring in $1,000,000 in sales tax revenue, will the mayor be in your ad? What about $2,000,000? Do you have some magic number that applies? I didn't realize politicians endorsed local businesses.

3. Why don't they ask the Elk Grove Auto Mall why their ads aren't shot in Elk Grove? Look at the freaking tv ads. How many of them are done in Old Sac or downtown? Apparently, we should give our money to the Auto Mall but the Auto Mall should not give their money locally? Really? Is that how it works now? We support them and they spend their money elsewhere?

4. Why are city employees in the ads at all? Did the Auto Mall pay for their time to be in the ads? Are taxpayers paying for their time? Is this something that is covered by their employment?

5. Does anyone buy a car based on the endorsement of politicians anyway? Seriously, would you buy a product because of a politician recommendation? I wouldn't.

Okay, short rant over. I can go on and on, but you get the point.

Shop local

This is going to be a bit different. No, this is going to be a lot different. I am not going to get mad. I am not going to drop any profanity. I am not going to call anyone names. Ready?

I was talking the other day with a friend of mine. We both work for ourselves and we both notice the same trend: people want to talk about shopping locally, but when push comes to shove, they don't do it. This applies to friends as well as to the general public. Let me explain.

Pretend you are a friend of mine. Now, I am a lawyer. It is what I do to support my family. And you would know this, because, at least in this example. you are a friend of mine. So, my new friend, you have a legal issue come up. You know I am a lawyer. But you decide to call some big city law firm to represent you. You pay them good money to resolve your issue. Later, you mention to me that you hired Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.

Let me explain the problem. (I will ignore, for a minute, that we are friends.) Your hard earned money goes to a big city law firm. The big city law firm's lawyers live in a different city than you live in, and a different city than I live in. The big city law firm uses products and services from the big city. They hire couriers in the big city. They pay rent to some landlord in the big city. All of that money you paid them is paid out in the big city.

If you hired me, I use local people for my services and products. My business cards are printed locally by a woman who designs them locally. She buys her products and services locally. My postage is bought locally. When I need to hire someone to do something for me, I hire someone local, whenever possible. I take my income and spend it locally at my local stores. When I go out to eat for Italian food, for example, I choose to eat at a small, local place. They hire people who live locally. They buy their food at the farmers market and from local supplies. Those suppliers buy their products locally.

You see, shopping locally gives local people money to spend locally. This is what makes a community's economic development grow. As more people spend locally, the local businesses grow, hire more local people to work there and spend more money locally. It has a mushroom effect. When you take money and spend it outside of the community, you are helping to grow those other cities.

Now, I get you can't always buy things locally. I use software that is only available from big companies. I buy paper in bulk and can't find a company that sells it in bulk. If I have to get papers sent by overnight mail, I am limited in my choices. So, it is not always possible. Further, maybe you need a patent attorney. There are none in my town. But, if you call a local attorney for a referral, that local attorney gets "goodwill" from the attorney he/she recommends. That comes back to the local attorney in referrals from the other attorney, which then helps the local economy.

And, let's be honest, there are some businesses that you will not shop at, for a variety of reasons. For example, a local business owner in my town had a dispute with me over something. Instead of disagreeing, he chose to attack my character. That is his right. However, it is then my right to decide not to give him my money. After all, I work hard for it and why would I give it to someone who thinks I am a jerk? I wouldn't and you wouldn't either.

About that friendship part: if you are a friend and you enjoy our friendship, then it is worse when you decide to give your business to someone else. If we are friends, and I don't mean Facebook friends, but real, actual friends, then you should be willing to call me when you have a problem that requires my services. I may not be able to help you, or it may not be a good fit, but a friend should do business with other friends. It is not required, but friends help friends, and that means helping them with everything. Don't tell me we are friends then buy widgets at Walmart because you think they are cheaper than I sell them for.

I may be wrong, but I think there is something to shopping locally. Who is in with me?

Fucking idiots

Okay, this one won't go on Facebook.

Fucking idiots. These people are fucking idiots. So my kids born in October, November and December can play soccer at 4, but my kid born in September cannot. Seriously? Someone thinks there is logic to this.

We all know it is bullshit. They are just making crap up. And they aren't even good at it. You mean to tell me that someone born September 9 cannot play soccer for a season that starts on September 6. But a kid who was 4 through the entire season can play. That is proof you are full of crap.

Why not just say "Look, we don't want you coaching." At least be a man about it. Right? There are plenty of times I would like to just make crap up. But I can't. Its not in my DNA. My DNA tells me to call it like I see it. So, this is how I see it: BULLSHIT!

Okay, so these idiots want to ruin youth soccer. That is fine. Go ruin it. When you have run it into the ground, don't call me. I won't be there to help you!

Its amazing how adults ruin things

Last night I received a disturbing phone call. Okay, disturbing may not be the right word. An annoying phone call. Obnoxious maybe? It caused me some annoyance. So, this morning, I wrote a letter to Elk Grove Youth Soccer and West Lake Soccer Club. Here it is (with names changed to protect the innocent):

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I am writing today after receiving a phone call last night from Ms. Jones, the assistant XXXXXXXXX for West Lake Soccer. A little background before I begin.

My kids first started playing in EGYSL in 2003. I was an assistant coach for a U6 boys team in the Laguna Creek Soccer Club. My oldest son played on that team at the ripe old age of 4. His birthday was not until after the season ended and he was in preschool at the time. We never registered him for Kindergarten at that time. My oldest son played for several years.

My second son played for West Lake starting in 2005. He was also 4 at the time. That child had an October birthday and my wife and I simultaneously registered him for preschool and Kindergarten, not knowing if we were going to hold him back. We didn’t make the decision to send him to Kindergarten until July of that year. He played for West Lake for several years.

My third son began playing soccer in 2007. He, too, was 4. He was a December birthday and never had any chance of going to Kindergarten during his first season. However, he was allowed to play without a problem. (By the way, he was allowed to play up 2 age groups when he was young as well, in 2009.)

Over the years, I have helped out EGYSL and West Lake numerous times. I was an unofficial board member for West Lake one year when Mr. Gones was the President. The next year, I was the equipment manager for the board. I received numerous calls from both EGYSL and West Lake when they needed a referee for a difficult game. I helped out countless times, including last year.

When there was a U14 team with no coach, I was asked if I would coach the team. My 11 year old was playing and should have been playing in U12. However, I agreed to play him up a year and coach a team, despite not wanting to coach that age or coach my son. That team, by the way, had 3 11 year olds on it to start the season, 3 kids who had never played soccer, and never more than 13 at a game, with most games having 11 or 12 players. Yet, the boys managed to go a respectable 5-5 and finished 4-1 to end the season.

With that background in place, I received a call last night from Ms. Jones. My 4 year old daughter, who has the earliest of any of my children’s birthdays, September 9, is not allowed to play soccer this year, despite me signing up to coach her team. She is signed up for Transitional Kindergarten because EGUSD will not let us challenge kindergarten until we are within 60 days of her birthday. That has been our plan, with the testing to occur on her birthday. However, I now understand that my daughter cannot play soccer this year. Honestly, this baffles me.

All 4 of my kids are fall birthdays. Of my 3 older children, they all played soccer at 4, which is when I started, even though 2 of them were never going into kindergarten when they started playing. Those two were both in preschool. However, suddenly the oldest of my children, the one most prepared to go to kindergarten, the most mature, and the most ready to play soccer, can’t play. This makes absolutely no sense. Quite honestly, it seems like adults ruining an opportunity for kids to play.

My daughter won’t play this year. You can send a refund check to me. There are two other families who signed up their kids to play on my team. I have talked to one already and I am sure they are going to request a refund as well. I believe that the 2^nd family will request a refund as well. (Incidentally, Ms. Moser believes this is a mistake for those families, but if three girls who have been best friends for 2 years can’t play soccer together when the 3 dads were going to share coaching, then that is the decision for the families to make, not anyone else.) She may play next year, but she may not. She wanted to try soccer. She has other interests and will pursue those other interests. Sadly, while I believe that soccer does more to teach our youth about sports, sportsmanship, working with others, etc…

I believe that once again rules have been made with absolutely no forethought. Are all kinds between September 1 and December 1, the old cut off date, going to be told that they can’t play soccer? Will they find other activities and just not play soccer? Will kids who challenge into kindergarten after August 1 simply be told that they have to wait another year and miss out on that year of bonding? It is your league and you can make whatever rules you see fit. However, making it harder for kids to play soccer seems counterproductive especially in a time when “soccer fever,” something I have been waiting for since I saw Pele play in the 1970s, is finally taking root in Sacramento and the US. 

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Now, let me rant. 

What the hell is wrong with people? Ignore for a minute all that I have done for the league over the years. Pretend I am Stern John. I don't know jack. Okay? Ready?

You have a kid who wants to play. And yet you say no. You are turning down a) money and b) kids. Just so we are clear, youth sports are designed for, wait for it..........................................................the youth. Yes, without kids, you have no sports league. No teams. No games. No league. No adults to get in the way. You need the kids. The kids need the adults substantially less.

How do I know this? I grew up playing sports. I played soccer in a league. But I also played basketball at the park. We played football. We played hockey. We played wiffle ball, and for the old timers, we played stoop ball, even if we called it curb ball. There were no leagues for most of this. We just played on the street, in a basement, or wherever we could find space. There were no adults around and we turned out just fine - other than one broken arm. 

And you are turning down a volunteer. Every freaking year sports leagues call up parents and say "Hey, we need a coach for this team. Will you volunteer?" They beg and plead for volunteers. Now they have one - Stern John. And they say no. They are turning down a coach. Seriously. For some made up rule that has never applied before. Nonsense.

Now, pretend I am me again. When they had no coach last year, there were 13 kids who could have been told that they can't play. A grand total of ZERO parents stepped up to coach the team. I didn't know these kids from Adam. But I agreed to coach and agreed to move my kid up an age group. And yet the reverse does not apply - they won't let my daughter play now. Seriously, if her birthday were 8 days earlier, we wouldn't be having this discussion. But she can't play because of 8 days. WHEN THEY HAVE A GUY WILLING TO COACH! 

And, let's be clear, in addition to having volunteered for these people for years, I am a damn good coach. Yes, I said it. I am a damn good coach. I could put up my team's records. But that isn't the sign of a good coach. My teams have fun. My kids learn the game. And I assure you that I do drills that most of these coaches couldn't figure out if you gave them step by step instructions, but that the kids rock at doing. They are easy - too easy for the coaches who think they know more than I do. See, you can read that here: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2009/05/beautiful-game.html 

36 years of soccer playing. 20 years of coaching. More than two decades of being a ref. And yet, I can't coach my daughter and 2 of her friends for some made up BS rule.

I will say - I think if I were Stern John and not Jon Stein, this wouldn't have happened. Yes, its freaking politics. Someone was pissed off that I did something and this is a good way of making a point. Great. You win. You are right. My daughter, who has wanted to play soccer since she was a baby, can't play this year. Next year, who knows? Maybe she plays. Maybe she doesn't play. She has other interests. 

I sure as hell don't need to coach. You mean spend 4 months playing babysitter because parents can't bother to sit at practice. Do everything because parents don't volunteer. Get yelled at because little Billy is playing the wrong position or didn't play enough of the game or the team lost. Get yelled at because some kid didn't get his medal, but mom and dad refused to help.. Put up nets, take down nets. And do it all with a smile. Yeah, I won't miss that at all. 

Sadly, I wonder what parents will get a call asking them to coach their kid when a willing coach was ready for his daughter...............I hope someone steps up. Otherwise, once again, the adults will have ruined it for the kids. 

More on MLS in Elk Grove

Okay, so I wrote this on December 14, 2011: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2011/12/mls-in-elk-grove-i-think-not.html Let me hit the highlights if you don't want to read it:

1. So where to start? Should we start with Fabian Nunez? Dude was Speaker of the State Assembly. Dude's son killed a guy. Yes, we all make mistakes. I have made plenty. Just ask my wife. But, murder, manslaughter or anything close to it? Not on my list of sins. But, I get it, people screw up.

2. First, Sacramento could not support the Sacramento Knights, a minor league indoor soccer team. Stockton, our neighbor to the south, could not support the Stockton Cougars, another minor league indoor soccer team. We can barely keep the freaking Kings in Sacramento (although one of their idiot play by play guys is the reason I won't support them). We have lost 2, or is it 3, pro football teams. Heck, San Jose lost the Earthquakes several years ago. Yet, somehow, Elk Grove is going to support professional soccer.

3. Elk Grove has a mall that hasn't been finished. Elk Grove has a ridiculous number of foreclosures. Elk Grove has unemployment around 10%. Elk Grove schools are struggling. Yet, these people are going to support a professional sports team?

Then on November 4, 2013, I wrote this: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2013/11/morons-i-say-morons.html You don't want to read it? Fine, more highlights:

1. Do you know who is getting the next MLS team? Not Elk Grove. Why not? Because Elk Grove doesn't freaking listen. Not just to me, but to MLS. Orlando is getting the next MLS team. Why? Because Orlando deserves it. How do I know? Because Orlando has supported minor league soccer for years. Orlando has shown it is a great soccer city. So, MLS is going to reward Orlando. The moral of the story: if you want to play with the big boys, follow the fucking rules, you morons

2. You see, Elk Grove is not a destination. Never has been. Never will be. It doesn't need to be. Its not why we moved here. People moved here because they like it as it is, a small town where you can still go to the grocery store and see friends. A place where everybody knows your name. You walk in and feel like Norm.

Now, let me go a step further. There was a city council meeting last night. Here are some highlights courtesy of: http://www.elkgrovenews.net/2014/06/elk-grove-to-continue-its-pursuit-of.html Laura Gill, the city managerm expressed concern over a number of negotiation points that she said were not favorable for the city.  And then there is this: Patrick Hume asked "You are the captain of the ship, someday you will have shore leave and sipping lemonade, would you look back on this and say it was a good deal?"

"Not at the moment," Gill responded.

"The only reason why I say that is that because you all have lots of things you would like to get done," she added. "You have a civic center you would like to finish, you have an animal control shelter you need to contemplate once we get feedback from the consultant, and frankly, it's a matter of priorities."  

Of course, there is also this: Hume said he supported the competitive field component of the proposal, but expressed skepticism on the public financing aspect. He noted that the recent Sacramento County sales tax proposal to fund a soccer stadium there would only have a 20-percent public financing component.  

As I said on another page, "Not only is it a bad deal, but there is ZERO chance of getting an MLS team. Let's see: Minnesota is getting one. There is NYCFC. There is Miami. There is Orlando. There are ZERO teams that are moving. Then, if one reads what MLS actually says, they clearly state that you need a USL team to get an MLS team, unless you are a billionaire or David Beckham, neither of whom are building in Elk Grove. Guess who that means gets a team? Sac Republic. Why? Because THEY CAN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! Seriously, folks, we learned this in kindergarten. If you can follow directions, it helps." 

This is absurd. It is moronic. It is idiotic. It is completely ridiculous. Look, MLS has laid out the criteria. There is one team in Sacramento following these criteria: Sacramento Republic. It is easy. Heck, even Wikipedia gets it: In February 2014, Garber again confirmed Minneapolis and San Antonio as candidates, and also mentioned San Diego and Sacramento as expansion candidates

This is idiotic. It is either a colossal clusterfuck, a sign that the Elk Grove City council has way too much free time, a sign that there is too much money for people, but not the city, or a sign that politicians will do anything to please a politician who has more power. I don't care which one you pick. Either way it is a mess, a disaster, an idea that will destroy Elk Grove while not resulting in an MLS team. 

Freaking idiots!