Random Thoughts on a Sunday Afternoon

So I thought I would share a few observations from my weekend around town.

1. There was a car driving around with one of those ads. This company is called Color Me ******. The concept: mobile airbrush tanning. Okay, could someone please explain this to me? I get the mobile part - dude drives to you. Yes, it was a dude. As far as I can tell, only two types of people who have a guy come over and airbrush tan them. The first group is the Toddlers and Tiaras group. Yes, those crazy folks would have someone come over and airbrush their daughters. The second group is the type of person who thinks an airbrush tan looks good. Look, if you think you need a tan, then get a tan. Either sit out in the sun or go to a tanning salon. But, an airbrush tan? How about just painting your skin with a little Sherwin Williams? Maybe break out some of the Home Depot special brown that is on sale. But, airbrush tanning? And you are going to invite a GUY into your house to do it? Sorry. That sounds a bit pervy!

2. If you want to get a sex change, please do it right. Please? Pretty please? I was driving to my local national coffee franchise. There was a guy, no wait, a girl, no a guy, dang it, I don't know what it was, walking in front of me. This person was balding on top and had a mullett. Shim was in tight pants and a tight shirt. I would have told you at this point that shim was a guy. But, then shim had a rack. A big rack. I am guessing, and its only a guess, that it was at least a D, if not a DD. And he/she was walking around with his/her kids. Now, I get that some people are sexually confused or think they do not know if they are meant to be a man or a woman. Not my thing, but I get it. But this was ridiculous. Heshe looked like a guy who had lost a bet and had implants. It was noticeably bad and could have been fixed with two easy things: a bit of makeup and a wig. That would have made it a thousand times less noticeable. Please?

3. If you are over 40, white and out of shape, do not call your Caucasian coworker "sista." It doesn't work for you, even if you work at some hip store. She is not your sister, and she is an over 40 white chick. She is Sue or Suzie or Susanne or something like that. She is clearly not sista! Stop it. You look like a fool, but not as big a fool as shim!