He has introduced a new bill to regulate trampoline places. You know, those places you go where your kids jump on a trampoline. They jump, they play games, then they jump some more. Apparently, Lieu took his son to one of these places. And now has decided these places need to be regulated. From the Sacramento Bee "There was no training of any kind...." That's right, folks, there was no training on how to jump on a trampoline.
Stop the presses! You mean kids don't know how to jump. Up. Down. Up. Down. My 3 year old has figured out how to jump on a trampoline. Its a freaking trampoline. Its not rocket science. Its not like we are asking the kids to ride a bike or drive a car. Its jumping. UP AND DOWN! Seriously. Training? What kind of training do you need?
The following conversation will happen if this idiotic, moronic, not worth the paper it is written on law is passed:
Some 18 year old acne covered kid at a trampoline place: "Hey, kids, come over here. Before you jump up and down, I need to train you on how to jump up and down. First, you stand with both of your legs on the trampoline. Then, you bend your knees, and push off the ground with both legs. You will then be in the air. When you are coming down, you will bend your knees again and land on both feet. If you don't land on both feet, you will fall on our fabric. Yes, kids, its fabric. It will feel like a short carpet. Then you will bounce a time or two. Then get on your feet and jump again. Any questions?"
Some 10 year old kid who is bored and checking out the 11 year old girl next to him: "Um, sir, I don't get it. I need to jump. Up? Then land?"
18 year old who is making $8.50 an hour and wants to be out kissing his girlfriend: "Yes, kid, you do."
10 year old trying to be cool in front of his friends: "Holy crap. You just wasted 5 minutes telling me how to jump. I am 10 years old. I needed someone to tell me how to jump? Are you kidding me? Its a trampoline. Who needs training on a trampoline?"
18 year old kid now wanting to yell at the 10 year old, but who knows he will get even during dodge ball: "Well, kid, it is required by law. If you don't like it, talk to your legislator."
Seriously, what the hell is this? Kids need training on how to jump? Really? Is this grandstanding because Lieu wants to run for a new office next year? Or is he serious that kids need training on how to jump? What's next?
I propose the following laws:
1. Kids shall not be allowed to swing on a swingset, be it a private one, one at school, or one at a public park without getting 2 hours of training in swing safety, including how to hold on to the chains, how to sit safely in the swing, proper technique on kicking their legs out and bringing their legs back in;
2. Kids shall not be allowed to slide down any slide, be it a private one, one at school, one at a park, a dry one or a water one, without getting an hour of slide safety, including how to sit on a slide, how to get on the slide and how to get off the slide. If the kid wants to go down a water slide, they must also get 1 hour of safety on how to put on a bathing suit;
3. Kids shall not be allowed to walk down the sidewalk without getting at least 3 hours of training in how to be safe on a sidewalk, proper walking technique so they do not injure their legs, knees, arms, shoulders, backs, butts, or any other body part. Such training shall include the best method to walk like you are an Egyptian;
4. Kids shall not be allowed to play any sport without obtaining at least 10 hours of training from someone who is an expert and has spent at least 10,000 hours learning the sport plus another 10,000 hours learning how to teach the sport as those numbers are the minimum required to obtain proficiency according to some douchebag who thinks its a rule;
5. Kids shall not eat food except under adult supervision when said adult has either procreated to create a kid or has received specialized training from the Department of Education on how to teach kids to eat food, chew their food properly and swallow (not that kind of swallowing, get your heads out of the gutter!).
I am sure I can come up with more. Heck, I am sure Ted Lieu has already come up with more stupid ideas on things we can regulate. How about if we regulate breathing? How about if you introduce a dumb law in the legislature you don't get paid for a year? This might be the worst bill ever introduced and its an embarrassment to the entire state!
"There was no training of any kindTheee
"There was no training of any kind
"There was no training of any kind
"There was no training of any kind
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