On Being a Trial Lawyer

So today seems to be bash trial lawyer day. I don't know if its a national thing, but its happening in California. Summary of why: the California Supreme Court made a ruling that insurance companies say would cost them $3 billion per year. And suddenly folks have realized that trial attorneys work on a contingency fee so we would get 1/3 of that. Its a rough number. But lets say it is right. (I think all of the numbers are BS and made up, but I will work with it.)

So I am a trial lawyer. What does that mean? It means I sue people. Yep, that's right. I sue people. And I don't care if people think its a derogatory term.

First, lets just understand that trial lawyers are not all the same. We have short ones, tall ones, fat ones, thin ones, ugly ones, handsome (pretty?) ones, smart ones, dumb ones, idiotic ones, geniuses, good ones, bad ones. When you say "Oh, they are the trial lawyers" its not like you are talking about a tribe of headhunters from the Amazon who all do the same thing. Its not like we are all 6'2, blonde hair, green eyes. We aren't the freaking Nazis. It would be like saying teachers, professors, radio talk show hosts or ANY OTHER FREAKING JOB!

Oh, and we aren't all liberal. Not every trial lawyer believes in social programs. Not every one is pro choice. Not every one wants to see communism take over. (Something we will get to in a minute.) At the same time, not all of us are pro-small business or tax cuts for the rich or anything like that. In fact, some of us (not me) are rich and want tax cuts for the rich while others of us are middle class and think the rich shouldn't get tax cuts. You can't lump us in as a group.

Second, we aren't bad. Suing people, in and of itself, is not bad. Yes, frivolous lawsuits are bad. You want to talk about frivolous lawsuits? How about suing individuals for $500 in court when you know that you served them improperly? How about one business suing another over a $1,000 contract dispute when the attorney fees are more than that to file the dang thing? How about suing an individual when you have been told of identity theft and there is an active police investigation? Yep, all of those things happen.

I sue people. I admit it. I sue businesses too. I send them a letter before I do it. No one has ever been sued by me and said "Damn, I had no idea this was coming." They may have said "Damn, I didn't know he was serious." But they all knew it was coming. I may not win every case, but I investigate it and make sure its got merit. Then I go at it. Its my job.

Oh yeah, its my job. Lets talk about that. Being a trial lawyer is not my identity. I am not "Jonathan Stein, trial lawyer." I am Jonathan Stein, dad, father, coach, person, human. As a matter of fact, if I had to give you 10 words that describe me, trial lawyer, lawyer, attorney, counselor at law (which is an idiotic name) or anything of the sort would be at the bottom of my list. You see, my job does not define me. It is part of me. So don't give me all this crap that I am a trial lawyer. I am a person. Sometimes I do good things, sometimes I do bad things. That applies to every aspect of my life. I am not perfect nor do I claim to be. And that goes for my career as well - I make mistakes, but I am a trial lawyer, not a perfect lawyer.

Third, trial lawyers are entrepenuers. Not all of us. Some work for big firms, but its probably less than 5%. Most of us work for ourselves or in small law firms. We are small business. We employ people. We provide jobs. We also only get paid when our clients get paid. Let's be clear: WE GET PAID WHEN OUR CLIENTS GET PAID. So I work for free until that time. Oh, and don't tell me when I am done I didn't earn it. I worked for free. You go to your boss and tell him not to pay you until you complete a job and he makes money on it. You don't want to do that? Yeah, well, that is what we do, every single freaking day.

Why does this matter? Two reasons. First, if I were to file frivolous lawsuits I wouldn't make any money. Think about it. If I spend $400 to file a lawsuit and work 100 hours on it, and there is no merit to it, how much money do I make? I lose $400 plus 100 hours of my life that I can never get back. Ever. Gone. Poof. Vanished. So why would I take a frivolous case? I wouldn't. DUH! Second, it means I better have some idea what I am doing. I have to evaluate a case and figure out if it makes financial sense. In other words, just like you guys out there selling, I have to take things where I can make money. Isn't that capitalism?

This, of course, is why trial lawyers are not pro-Communism. Under a communistic system, we wouldn't have jobs to make money. So don't call us commies, or whatever the hell idiot expression Michael Douchebag Savage uses. (And yes, he is a douchebag who makes money because he can yell. He hasn't had an original thought in 20 years.) So stop that nonsense.

There are people who are now ashamed to be called a trial lawyer. Years ago, the Association of Trial Lawyers of America changed their name to the American Association of Justice or some such nonsense. Look, I am not in the justice business. I don't make money on a justice. Justice scares me. I don't know what it is. Call me and tell me you want justice and I will tell you I can't take your case. Sorry. Maybe it sucks. But I can't use 1/3 of justice to pay my bills. Oh, and how do you know when you get justice? Is it an eye for an eye? Is it cutting off the hand of a thief? I don't know, but I don't want 1.65 fingers. Sorry.

I quit ATLA when it changed its name to AAJ. (By the way, say ATLA and then say AAJ. Like they are words. AAJ is not a word. It sounds like you are puking.) I quit because I don't want to run and hide from what I am. I am a trial lawyer.

I could have graduated from law school and done something else. Despite being told by a young associate at a big law firm that I wasn't smart enough to work in his firm, and despite being told by my high school guidance counselor not to apply for college because I wouldn't get in, I think I could hack it there. I could have gone to work for a big law firm and made six figures out of law school while working 100 hours per week. It was a possibility. Hell, I graduated top 10 from law school. Its not an issue.

But would representing millionaires and billionaires be enjoyable? No. I don't like it. I also don't want to sit in a library all day doing research or writing memos or things like that. I don't want to report to 5 people who never let me do anything. I am a trial lawyer. Its what I do. Its part of me. It is not me, but part of me.

And, quite frankly, I am good at it. I can stand in front of a jury and convince them, at least for a few hours, of my viewpoint. I can get them to see my client as a person, a person who has been injured or hurt. I can get them to understand why my client is entitled to what I am asking for. I have never seen any of my closing arguments. And I don't want to sound cocky, because goodness knows I need help and am still learning, but while the other attorney in my last trial was the managing partner of some fancy Orange County law firm, she had to read her closing argument and I stood up and spoke from the heart. Its what I do. Its what we do. We represent real people who have real problems and need real solutions. And those solutions come by filing lawsuits.

I am a trial lawyer and I am proud of it.