Names

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. My name is Kiiiiiiiid Rock, at least that is what I was told by someone sitting at my kitchen table. Of course, would the really Slim Shady please stand up, please stand up. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Hatch, Hatch, quick Hatch, quick.

No, not just random quotes about names. Well, okay, this was a whole list just with random name quotes. But, heck, when can you mix in The Princess Bride with Kid Rock and Eminem. But, it does have a place it is leading me to - names. What is in a name? A lot. Names can tell you a lot about folks.

1. Reginald - Okay, not the name Reginald. It is just an example. I called this guy up the other day. He is an attorney. Notice how a lot of my interactions are with attorneys? That is what happens when you are an attorney. You end up dealing with those people. And while some, like my buddy Mike, are nice, some are just jerks. So, I called up this young guy Reginald. He actually signed his letter Reggie. I call and ask for Reggie. Reggie works at a big law firm. And Reggie has been practicing law for less than a year. Reggie might be 25. So, I call and ask for Reggie since that is how he signed his letter. I identify myself as an attorney returning his call. The receptionist says "Oh, you want Mr. Miller?" Um, no, I want Reggie. So, she connects me. Reggie answers "Mr. Miller." I explain that I am returning Reggie's call. Again, he calls himself "Mr. Miller."

Now, I am all in favor of showing respect to people. But, if you sign your letter Reggie, expect to be called Reggie. And if you don't want to be called Reggie, don't sign your letter Reggie. But don't go around calling yourself Mr. Miller to your elders. Just because you work at a law firm doesn't mean you Mr. Anything. Sheesh, Reg, get over yourself.

2. Middle names - So, what's the deal with people using their middle name? I don't understand why Tom Mark Smith goes by Mark and not Tom. Clearly, you are hiding something. I don't trust people who go by their middle names. You are trying to deceive me. What are you hiding? I know, your dad has the same name and you don't want to be confused. Break out a nickname or a Jr or a III. But, don't use your middle name. My instinct tells me you are a liar. Sorry, T. Boone Pickens, but you are hiding something too!

3. Weird spellings - Okay, I know people don't want to name their kid Johnny or Billy or Madison or Ashley. We don't want to name our little girl Madison or Ashley or Brittany either. I get the need to not use a popular name. Trust me, I do.

But, really, do you need to name your kid Danne? Yes, that is supposed to be Danny. But, instead of spelling it like a normal person, it is spelled Danne. No, that does not make your kid cool or stand out. It makes people pronounce his name "DANE." I guess if your kid is a puppy and not a kid, then being called DANE is not bad. But, if your kid is a kid, he may want people to be able to say his name. So, don't

Of course, I am not sure if that is any worse than the barrista who spelled my name on Sunday as Jonh. Yes, not Jon. Not John. Not even Jhon. But, Jonh. What the hell is that? That isn't even close to a name.

Just spell a name right. Something like Hatch. How hard is that? And don't use it if it is your middle name. And don't go by Mr. Miller, you young big law attorney. You put your pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. Well, except you may only have one leg...............

Danne