So I thought I would share a few observations from my weekend around town.
1. There was a car driving around with one of those ads. This company is called Color Me ******. The concept: mobile airbrush tanning. Okay, could someone please explain this to me? I get the mobile part - dude drives to you. Yes, it was a dude. As far as I can tell, only two types of people who have a guy come over and airbrush tan them. The first group is the Toddlers and Tiaras group. Yes, those crazy folks would have someone come over and airbrush their daughters. The second group is the type of person who thinks an airbrush tan looks good. Look, if you think you need a tan, then get a tan. Either sit out in the sun or go to a tanning salon. But, an airbrush tan? How about just painting your skin with a little Sherwin Williams? Maybe break out some of the Home Depot special brown that is on sale. But, airbrush tanning? And you are going to invite a GUY into your house to do it? Sorry. That sounds a bit pervy!
2. If you want to get a sex change, please do it right. Please? Pretty please? I was driving to my local national coffee franchise. There was a guy, no wait, a girl, no a guy, dang it, I don't know what it was, walking in front of me. This person was balding on top and had a mullett. Shim was in tight pants and a tight shirt. I would have told you at this point that shim was a guy. But, then shim had a rack. A big rack. I am guessing, and its only a guess, that it was at least a D, if not a DD. And he/she was walking around with his/her kids. Now, I get that some people are sexually confused or think they do not know if they are meant to be a man or a woman. Not my thing, but I get it. But this was ridiculous. Heshe looked like a guy who had lost a bet and had implants. It was noticeably bad and could have been fixed with two easy things: a bit of makeup and a wig. That would have made it a thousand times less noticeable. Please?
3. If you are over 40, white and out of shape, do not call your Caucasian coworker "sista." It doesn't work for you, even if you work at some hip store. She is not your sister, and she is an over 40 white chick. She is Sue or Suzie or Susanne or something like that. She is clearly not sista! Stop it. You look like a fool, but not as big a fool as shim!
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I wanted to explain mobile spray tanning to you. Mobile spray tanning caters to many different groups, including the ones that you mentioned in your post, but also people who spray tan for medical reasons, like they had skin cancer. Spray tanning is not 'painting' your skin, it is a reaction that the DHA (dihydroxyacetone) and the upper layer of your skin have with one another. It is a color reaction, rather than a dye, and it is completely safe, unlike a traditional sun tan or tanning in a tanning bed.
Mobile tanning is an important service because of the nature of spray tanning. When you receive a spray tan, your skin will be slightly sticky for about an hour or two while your skin in absorbing the DHA. There are a lot of people who would prefer to have a spray tan done in their homes, so that they can simply were a silk robe or something light while they are drying.
This guarantees that they will not mess up their spray tan while driving home. I don't see anything wrong with a male spray tan technician, because some clients would prefer a male technician. Just like I wouldn't ever encourage anyone to say that something like firefighting or police work is just for men, there are many health and beauty professions that appeal equally to both sexes, and that should not be discouraged. These are just my random thoughts on a Monday morning.
Thanks for letting me post. If you want to learn more about spray tanning, you can visit www.envytan.com.
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