I was called an asshole yesterday. Yeah, there are times I can be an asshole. I am an asshole to debt collectors. I have been an asshole at other times. Sometimes, I deserve to be called an asshole. But, yesterday, I was not an asshole.
Look, I run a business for a living. I charge people money. I don't apologize for that. Nor should I. A little story........... (And don't aww me or tell me how amazing I am. I am not amazing. I don't want to hear that crap. This is just to give you background.)
I graduated from college in 4 years. As it is now, it was a time when not a lot of people got out in 4 years. I took over 20 units my last semester to get out in 4 years. That included tutoring, an internship, and a job. We had a mortgage to pay, after all.
I got a job out of college. I worked hard at it. 3 years and 3 months after starting that job, I earned my CPCU. (Google it.) Back then, the CPCU was 10 essay exams. Essays. For hours. It also required 3 years of work experience. Do the math. It was tough.
Then, a year later, I started law school. 4 years. At night. While working full time. Kids came in years 2 and 4. 4 am feedings. Late nights after school. Very little sleep. It was stressful on me. It was more stressful on my wife. It was stressful on my kids. Do you know how many vacations I took while in law school? 1. 1 actual vacation.
I took the bar exam after graduation. Passed on my 1st try. I had surgery the next day. 2 months after the bar exam, my dad died. He never saw me get sworn in. It has been almost 11 years since I was sworn in. Do you know how many actual vacations I have taken in those 11 years? I mean a "let's not work and take time off for more than a weekend" type vacations. Wanna guess? 2.
3 vacations in 15 years. Sometimes, it sucks. I don't get a steady paycheck. I don't get vacation time. I don't get PTO. Benefits? Yeah, I pay full price for those. And you know what, I wouldn't change it.
Don't pity me. I don't pity me. I wouldn't change this. I haven't missed any of my kid's events. I have been there when they need me. Heck, I picked up my elementary school kid by walking to his school on Friday. Its the life I chose. I get it.
But I don't work for free. I have a wife to support. I have 4 kids to support. I have a mortgage to pay. I have bills to pay.
Yes, I take pro bono cases. But I make that decision, not you. If you ask for free help, my response is generally no. If you expect me to help you for free, my answer is fuck no.
So, imagine my surprise when a "friend" mails papers to my house with a note that she expects me to take care of her lawsuit. Yeah, I don't do that. Not to my business. No phone call. No request. No offer to pay. An envelope with a copy of a lawsuit and a note that told me to deal with it. My response: a letter to her telling her I don't represent her. This is what I would send to anyone who sends me unsolicited papers or assumes I will represent them without signing a fee agreement. It is fairly standard.
Yesterday, this "friend's" partner came up to me, in front of my 4 year old and other adults, and called me an asshole. This is wrong on so many levels.
First, who calls someone an asshole in front of other adults? You don't know those people. You don't know how I know these people. Maybe they are friends. Maybe they are clients. Maybe it is someone who is interviewing me. But now, suddenly, I have to explain why you called me an asshole. Thankfully, these folks ignored it, as most of us would do. But you don't do that to someone.
Second, who calls someone an asshole in front of that person's kids? My daughter is 4. You want to call me an asshole in front of her? I am pretty sure that makes you the asshole. Of course, I didn't say that back because, well, I don't curse in front of kids, especially 4 year olds. That is simply idiotic and moronic.
Third, this was at a temple. You are going to use profanity at a place of worship? Really? That doesn't seem very god like. I mean, you are in God's holy place and you think dropping a little profanity is the way to go. Who taught you this?
Fourth, why, exactly, am I an asshole? Because I won't represent you for free. Do you expect your doctor to treat you for free? Your dentist? Is your landlord supposed to give you a break too? When do you think you should pay for services?
Yes, I have asked a friend for a favor before. Hey, can you pull a title on this house? Hey, can you give a friend an insurance quote. But, a) I refer these people business and b) it usually is a precursor to paying them. Oh, and it never involves more than a few minutes and I sure as hell wouldn't ask a real estate friend to sell my house for free. Once an attorney gets involved in litigation, its not easy to get out.
Look, folks, attorneys are people too. We have families. We have bills. Just because you know us doesn't mean we are obligated to help you for free. If you want help, offer to pay us. Sure, we may say no. I know I have done that a few times. But at least fucking offer to pay me. Don't assume I will work for free. And sure as heck don't call me names when I won't.
This is how I support my family. It is not a crime. I should not be ashamed. I am not going to be embarrassed or bullied about it. I busted my ass. The reward is that I get to run my own business. If our friendship is built on you thinking you can get something for nothing from me, go fuck yourself. And don't talk to me again.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
On manhood
Okay, so its not often I get involved in something that is current. Normally, I am ripping on idiots or making fun of some schmuck at the store. Sometimes, I make fun of some current "star" like when I mocked Michael Phelps' pot use or rap like Pitbull. (Dude still needs a new name. He is a freaking moron and can't sing! I am sure my raps are better than his!!) But, today, I need to weigh in on something that is bothering me. Men!
Did you know a study came out a few months ago about men? Yep. Some fool studied how much sex men get who do "women's chores." You don't believe me? Read it here: http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/study-men-womens-chores-get-less-sex/ Seriously, this was a real study. Some morons paid these people to study what kind of man gets more sex. How this affects the world or makes the world a better place, I have no idea. But the conclusion is that we need socialized gender roles, apparently.
Then my wife told me about some story she read on Huffington Post. I looked it up. Dude is "Daddy Doin' Work." Here is his website: http://daddydoinwork.com/ I don't know him, but there is some good stuff there. You should read it. Now. Go read it. Then come back here.
He was apparently attacked for a picture of him doing his daughter's hair with a baby in a baby carrier. Let me be clear on this: FUCK THAT! (No, not him. The people who attacked him. Maybe that wasn't clear enough.)
You know what I think of all of this? Its nonsense. Its all garbage. Its not worth the paper it was written on. (Or the typing spent writing this crap.) Let me give you my thoughts.
What did you do this weekend? Beats the hell out of me. What did I do this weekend? I baked a pie. I cleaned the house. I watched the kids. I coached wrestling. I played soccer. I took my kids to breakfast. I went shopping at Target. I hung out with my daughter.
I just don't get it. Why do we need to have these ridiculous rules? We didn't have them when I was growing up.We didn't have anyone tell us we had to be real men and women had to be real women.
I was a little kid when I heard stories of my mom's dad. He was a "man." He was tough. He ate horse. Seriously. My grandfather ate horse. He was a boxer. He was a tough guy. In his 80s, I am sure he could still have kicked the crap out of me. He always looked like a boxer. He owned a laundromat. He sold Disney vacations or something like that. But he was a man. No one would have ever questioned that my grandfather was a man's man.
Then there was my dad. I found out my dad was a bad ass when he was growing up. He would kick the crap out of people. There was always a good reason. Usually, those reasons had to do with my uncle getting in trouble and my dad having to fix it. He also was a chemist and a very good businessman. Smartest guy I ever knew. He would mow the lawn and take care of his family. My dad was a man's man as well.
Then, in the early 2000s, suddenly a man was something different. We had that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. Suddenly a real man was someone who shaved his whole body. Yeah, lets just be clear. I never shaved my whole body. Ever. Nope. But a man also had to be able to cook and clean. He had to groom daily. He had to have some "soft side." It was all the rage to be a metrosexual. I still don't know what that word means. But men were suddenly all metrosexual. At least, if you wanted to be "cool" you were a metrosexual. I guess I wasn't cool!
Now, we want to go back to men doing men things and women doing women things. What the hell does that mean? Am I supposed to tell my daughter she can't play with cars and trucks? Are my boys not allowed to learn to cook? I am so confused by all of this.
Here is what I know. A man takes care of his family. Maybe he works two jobs. I went to law school at night while working full time. Sucked. Yep. I was up at 4am to feed the baby (we had two), was in the office by 5, worked, came home so my wife could go to work, then left to go to school when she came home. Did I enjoy it? Nope. But it was necessary for my family.
Maybe a man makes sacrifices that we don't know about. I didn't know my dad overmedicated for his Parkinson's disease until he died. He wanted to provide for his family. So, understanding the risks, he took the medication necessary to work and provide for us. That was his choice. Right or wrong, in hindsight, makes no difference. A man will step up and do what is needed to take care of his family.
So here is what I tell all of these geniuses: fuck off. You guys are crazy. All of you. Men don't have to be tough guys, but we can be. I can still throw a punch to knock someone out. I can still wrestle. I can still play soccer. Sure, I am older, but I can still do it. I can run, I can do yard work, I can build something.
But, I can also cook. I can bake. I can clean. I can hold my daughter when she cries. I can throw on a suit and look better than you. Yep, its true.
I can do all of those things. I don't have to pick. Nor should I pick. I can go grab a beer with the guys and have discussions that I would never talk about. I can also take my wife to a nice dinner and wine and dine her. I can take her on a date.
If you think we have to pick, you are an idiot who has never had to be a real man. Real men do it all.
Did you know a study came out a few months ago about men? Yep. Some fool studied how much sex men get who do "women's chores." You don't believe me? Read it here: http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/study-men-womens-chores-get-less-sex/ Seriously, this was a real study. Some morons paid these people to study what kind of man gets more sex. How this affects the world or makes the world a better place, I have no idea. But the conclusion is that we need socialized gender roles, apparently.
Then my wife told me about some story she read on Huffington Post. I looked it up. Dude is "Daddy Doin' Work." Here is his website: http://daddydoinwork.com/ I don't know him, but there is some good stuff there. You should read it. Now. Go read it. Then come back here.
He was apparently attacked for a picture of him doing his daughter's hair with a baby in a baby carrier. Let me be clear on this: FUCK THAT! (No, not him. The people who attacked him. Maybe that wasn't clear enough.)
You know what I think of all of this? Its nonsense. Its all garbage. Its not worth the paper it was written on. (Or the typing spent writing this crap.) Let me give you my thoughts.
What did you do this weekend? Beats the hell out of me. What did I do this weekend? I baked a pie. I cleaned the house. I watched the kids. I coached wrestling. I played soccer. I took my kids to breakfast. I went shopping at Target. I hung out with my daughter.
I just don't get it. Why do we need to have these ridiculous rules? We didn't have them when I was growing up.We didn't have anyone tell us we had to be real men and women had to be real women.
I was a little kid when I heard stories of my mom's dad. He was a "man." He was tough. He ate horse. Seriously. My grandfather ate horse. He was a boxer. He was a tough guy. In his 80s, I am sure he could still have kicked the crap out of me. He always looked like a boxer. He owned a laundromat. He sold Disney vacations or something like that. But he was a man. No one would have ever questioned that my grandfather was a man's man.
Then there was my dad. I found out my dad was a bad ass when he was growing up. He would kick the crap out of people. There was always a good reason. Usually, those reasons had to do with my uncle getting in trouble and my dad having to fix it. He also was a chemist and a very good businessman. Smartest guy I ever knew. He would mow the lawn and take care of his family. My dad was a man's man as well.
Then, in the early 2000s, suddenly a man was something different. We had that Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. Suddenly a real man was someone who shaved his whole body. Yeah, lets just be clear. I never shaved my whole body. Ever. Nope. But a man also had to be able to cook and clean. He had to groom daily. He had to have some "soft side." It was all the rage to be a metrosexual. I still don't know what that word means. But men were suddenly all metrosexual. At least, if you wanted to be "cool" you were a metrosexual. I guess I wasn't cool!
Now, we want to go back to men doing men things and women doing women things. What the hell does that mean? Am I supposed to tell my daughter she can't play with cars and trucks? Are my boys not allowed to learn to cook? I am so confused by all of this.
Here is what I know. A man takes care of his family. Maybe he works two jobs. I went to law school at night while working full time. Sucked. Yep. I was up at 4am to feed the baby (we had two), was in the office by 5, worked, came home so my wife could go to work, then left to go to school when she came home. Did I enjoy it? Nope. But it was necessary for my family.
Maybe a man makes sacrifices that we don't know about. I didn't know my dad overmedicated for his Parkinson's disease until he died. He wanted to provide for his family. So, understanding the risks, he took the medication necessary to work and provide for us. That was his choice. Right or wrong, in hindsight, makes no difference. A man will step up and do what is needed to take care of his family.
So here is what I tell all of these geniuses: fuck off. You guys are crazy. All of you. Men don't have to be tough guys, but we can be. I can still throw a punch to knock someone out. I can still wrestle. I can still play soccer. Sure, I am older, but I can still do it. I can run, I can do yard work, I can build something.
But, I can also cook. I can bake. I can clean. I can hold my daughter when she cries. I can throw on a suit and look better than you. Yep, its true.
I can do all of those things. I don't have to pick. Nor should I pick. I can go grab a beer with the guys and have discussions that I would never talk about. I can also take my wife to a nice dinner and wine and dine her. I can take her on a date.
If you think we have to pick, you are an idiot who has never had to be a real man. Real men do it all.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
I am upset
And I don't even know why. Wait, I think I do. It sucks. It just sucks. We aren't like other families.
I drove my youngest son to band practice yesterday. It was a rehearsal before his first concert. It was near where my oldest son used to live. And I got mad. And sad. And upset. And annoyed. And any other synonym you can come up with.
Why? I don't know. I am still angry that he ended up in LA. I still harbor some ill will towards the people who ran the prior group home. I still blame them. And so it made me mad. I wanted to cry. I couldn't. How could I explain that to my kids?
UGH! So I have been grumpy the last two days. And I have no explanation as to why.
That's it. Back to your regularly scheduled reading.............
I drove my youngest son to band practice yesterday. It was a rehearsal before his first concert. It was near where my oldest son used to live. And I got mad. And sad. And upset. And annoyed. And any other synonym you can come up with.
Why? I don't know. I am still angry that he ended up in LA. I still harbor some ill will towards the people who ran the prior group home. I still blame them. And so it made me mad. I wanted to cry. I couldn't. How could I explain that to my kids?
UGH! So I have been grumpy the last two days. And I have no explanation as to why.
That's it. Back to your regularly scheduled reading.............
7 things I think
So my wife bought me a stress ball. But not just a stress ball. She loves me. She also bought me a stress guy. You know, its like the ball but its a blue dude that you can squeeze the crap out of. Yeah, well, still hasn't resolved my stress. So here goes.
1. ATM Machines - folks, its not like these are some new fangled gadget. I get that its a machine and that it must be freaking cool. Its not that cool. It takes your money. It gives you money. It may even sell stamps, if you really need stamps. Its a great little invention, or it was in 1968. It was so high tech. But, its 2013. It shouldn't come as a surprise that there are ATMs everywhere. And you should be expected to know how to use it. For example, if you are standing so close to me that I can smell your BO, you are too close. If you continue to stand so close to me that I can smell your BO even after I turn around and look at you, then you are way too close. Back the fuck up and give me some space. Think of it this way - if you think that people need 1 foot of personal space, at an ATM machine it should be 3 times that much. So, I need 3 feet of personal space. You get too close and someone punches you, its your own damn fault.
2. Assumptions -Why do people make assumptions based on their life about others? What do I mean? So, in your life, everyone is happy. Don't assume that everyone you meet is then happy. Look, I am guilty of this too. I am going to try to work on it next year. But we need to stop assuming that because we see A that everyone else sees A as well. I am sorry that you don't understand why people need to hire attorneys. That doesn't mean that everyone else sees it that way. Some people think attorneys are useful. Can you just leave it at that? The events you experience in life are not the events that anyone else experiences and you need to just back off and stop assuming that they see things the same way.
3. Profanity - I know I use fucking profanity in this blog. You know it too. You don't read this without knowing that there is profanity. When its more than once or twice, I even warn you on the post. But its not really a public forum. Sure, if you do the right search you will find it. But its not like there are 12 year olds reading this or old women. But it still bothers me that people drop profanity in public as if it is no big deal. I heard a woman call another woman a "bitch" the other day in public. Why on earth would you do that? Fine, you are upset. You are angry. Can't you express that without the fucking profanity? Seriously, profanity is fine if you are talking to your buddies, in your house or someone has done something so bad that the only way to describe it is to drop the f-bomb, as in "You are a fucker for punching Sue." Otherwise, lets cut back on the profanity, especially around women and children!
4. Language - that brings me to my next problem. Language. Words means something. Every word you say has a meaning. So, if I say "You are a jerk" then each word in that sentence means something. If I say "I don't want to talk to you" that means that I, the person speaking, does not want to talk to you! If you don't mean what you are saying, then find different words. And if the only word you can come up with is bitch or fuck or ass or motherfucker or something along those lines, than expand your vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "I can't believe that you fucked me like that" you could say "I am very upset that you treated me that way." See, better and a more proper use of language.
5. Morons - what the hell is up with people? Are people dumber now than they were before? Do you read what some of these people write? Or listen to what they say? They are idiots. Everyone has a different perspective. Maybe we need to send some of these people back to school. Or they need sensitivity training. I know the holidays can be stressful. But can we stop being morons.
6. Driving - speaking of being morons, do you know that the car you drive is a deadly weapon? Yes, it is. People can die because you drive like crap. When you are driving, your first job is to drive. That is easy. Don't put on your makeup. Don't try to squeeze your piece of crap car in a spot between me and the car in front of me. If you are trying to change lanes and there is a car there, don't do it. If you have to drive an extra 300 feet to be safe, then drive an extra 300 feet to be safe. Is it really that hard?
7. Music - UGH! I hate today's music. There is some song and I believe the lyrics go something like "blunt blunt blunt roll that blunt." I could write a song like that. Ready, my 10 seconds to write a chorus to some crappy song today:
Porn porn porn
I watch some porn
Porn Porn Porn
Because I dont fucking know how to talk to people
Porn Porn Porn
I don't have a woman because I watch
Porn Porn Porn
Seriously, that is as good as a lot of this crap. Don't tell me its not. I think maybe I should become a songwriter!
Okay, there. Now I feel a bit better!
1. ATM Machines - folks, its not like these are some new fangled gadget. I get that its a machine and that it must be freaking cool. Its not that cool. It takes your money. It gives you money. It may even sell stamps, if you really need stamps. Its a great little invention, or it was in 1968. It was so high tech. But, its 2013. It shouldn't come as a surprise that there are ATMs everywhere. And you should be expected to know how to use it. For example, if you are standing so close to me that I can smell your BO, you are too close. If you continue to stand so close to me that I can smell your BO even after I turn around and look at you, then you are way too close. Back the fuck up and give me some space. Think of it this way - if you think that people need 1 foot of personal space, at an ATM machine it should be 3 times that much. So, I need 3 feet of personal space. You get too close and someone punches you, its your own damn fault.
2. Assumptions -Why do people make assumptions based on their life about others? What do I mean? So, in your life, everyone is happy. Don't assume that everyone you meet is then happy. Look, I am guilty of this too. I am going to try to work on it next year. But we need to stop assuming that because we see A that everyone else sees A as well. I am sorry that you don't understand why people need to hire attorneys. That doesn't mean that everyone else sees it that way. Some people think attorneys are useful. Can you just leave it at that? The events you experience in life are not the events that anyone else experiences and you need to just back off and stop assuming that they see things the same way.
3. Profanity - I know I use fucking profanity in this blog. You know it too. You don't read this without knowing that there is profanity. When its more than once or twice, I even warn you on the post. But its not really a public forum. Sure, if you do the right search you will find it. But its not like there are 12 year olds reading this or old women. But it still bothers me that people drop profanity in public as if it is no big deal. I heard a woman call another woman a "bitch" the other day in public. Why on earth would you do that? Fine, you are upset. You are angry. Can't you express that without the fucking profanity? Seriously, profanity is fine if you are talking to your buddies, in your house or someone has done something so bad that the only way to describe it is to drop the f-bomb, as in "You are a fucker for punching Sue." Otherwise, lets cut back on the profanity, especially around women and children!
4. Language - that brings me to my next problem. Language. Words means something. Every word you say has a meaning. So, if I say "You are a jerk" then each word in that sentence means something. If I say "I don't want to talk to you" that means that I, the person speaking, does not want to talk to you! If you don't mean what you are saying, then find different words. And if the only word you can come up with is bitch or fuck or ass or motherfucker or something along those lines, than expand your vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "I can't believe that you fucked me like that" you could say "I am very upset that you treated me that way." See, better and a more proper use of language.
5. Morons - what the hell is up with people? Are people dumber now than they were before? Do you read what some of these people write? Or listen to what they say? They are idiots. Everyone has a different perspective. Maybe we need to send some of these people back to school. Or they need sensitivity training. I know the holidays can be stressful. But can we stop being morons.
6. Driving - speaking of being morons, do you know that the car you drive is a deadly weapon? Yes, it is. People can die because you drive like crap. When you are driving, your first job is to drive. That is easy. Don't put on your makeup. Don't try to squeeze your piece of crap car in a spot between me and the car in front of me. If you are trying to change lanes and there is a car there, don't do it. If you have to drive an extra 300 feet to be safe, then drive an extra 300 feet to be safe. Is it really that hard?
7. Music - UGH! I hate today's music. There is some song and I believe the lyrics go something like "blunt blunt blunt roll that blunt." I could write a song like that. Ready, my 10 seconds to write a chorus to some crappy song today:
Porn porn porn
I watch some porn
Porn Porn Porn
Because I dont fucking know how to talk to people
Porn Porn Porn
I don't have a woman because I watch
Porn Porn Porn
Seriously, that is as good as a lot of this crap. Don't tell me its not. I think maybe I should become a songwriter!
Okay, there. Now I feel a bit better!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
The problem with giving
I figured it out. Giving is too hard for most people. No, that is not a shot at them. It is a true statement. It is too hard to give. I would like to say its no one's fault,. but that would be wrong. It is someone's fault.
You see, we decided to go buy some coats for homeless kids and give them out on Saturday. We have had a very nasty cold spell. Fine, its not New England cold or Denver cold, but for us, it is cold. Most people don't have a heavy coat that is quite heavy enough for this. And imagine if you were a homeless kid. You sure as heck don't own a coat that you can use. So, we came up with this idea. Great.
One problem: no one makes it easy to give out. We drove around parts of town where the homeless people live. Your town has a place like that. Every town does. You may know where it is. You may not. But you probably should know.
There are "social service" agencies that claim to help the homeless. But they don't work together. They want you to give them the donation so they can decide who is worthy to get it. What makes them so special that they can make that decision? I don't want them making that decision. Its my damn money. I want to decide who gets the coats that I buy. I don't want some bureaucrat making that decision. I dont even like bureaucrats!
We used to "adopt a family" every Christmas. Guess what? They don't do that either. They want you to give them the gifts. Then they decide who gets them. Again, why? What makes them a better person to decide who is worthy to get the gift that I give? It is my right to give.
You see, if we made it easy for people to give, they would give. Don't set up levels and levels of bureaucracy. We need to give directly to the people who need it.
Wait, I know. Some people who get it aren't going to do the "right thing" with the gift. You are right. They may not. Some parent may take the coat and sell it to another person whose kid needs a coat. Someone may use the coat to burn a fire. I get it. But, who am I to judge? There but for the grace of God, go I.
So that is it. That is the problem with giving. We make it too hard for people to give. We set up too many roadblocks. We create levels of bureaucracy, some of which don't agree with other levels of bureaucracy or other bureaucratic organizations. We need to get out of this cycle and let people give directly to those who are needy. That, my friends, would make the world a better place.
You see, we decided to go buy some coats for homeless kids and give them out on Saturday. We have had a very nasty cold spell. Fine, its not New England cold or Denver cold, but for us, it is cold. Most people don't have a heavy coat that is quite heavy enough for this. And imagine if you were a homeless kid. You sure as heck don't own a coat that you can use. So, we came up with this idea. Great.
One problem: no one makes it easy to give out. We drove around parts of town where the homeless people live. Your town has a place like that. Every town does. You may know where it is. You may not. But you probably should know.
There are "social service" agencies that claim to help the homeless. But they don't work together. They want you to give them the donation so they can decide who is worthy to get it. What makes them so special that they can make that decision? I don't want them making that decision. Its my damn money. I want to decide who gets the coats that I buy. I don't want some bureaucrat making that decision. I dont even like bureaucrats!
We used to "adopt a family" every Christmas. Guess what? They don't do that either. They want you to give them the gifts. Then they decide who gets them. Again, why? What makes them a better person to decide who is worthy to get the gift that I give? It is my right to give.
You see, if we made it easy for people to give, they would give. Don't set up levels and levels of bureaucracy. We need to give directly to the people who need it.
Wait, I know. Some people who get it aren't going to do the "right thing" with the gift. You are right. They may not. Some parent may take the coat and sell it to another person whose kid needs a coat. Someone may use the coat to burn a fire. I get it. But, who am I to judge? There but for the grace of God, go I.
So that is it. That is the problem with giving. We make it too hard for people to give. We set up too many roadblocks. We create levels of bureaucracy, some of which don't agree with other levels of bureaucracy or other bureaucratic organizations. We need to get out of this cycle and let people give directly to those who are needy. That, my friends, would make the world a better place.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The loss of common courtesy
If you are reading this, you probably know what I do for a living. But if you don't, I practice law. There is some joke that they call it the practice of law because we are always learning. Something like that. I probably blew that. That's okay. It was never that funny to begin with.
Anyway, I received a letter yesterday and I thought to myself "Hmmmm............that is not professional." But then I talked to people about it. I realized its not that it was not professional. It was definitely not professional. But that was not the problem with it. The problem was that there was no common courtesy. You see, here is the phone call that preceded this letter:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
You did not misread that. That was not me losing the ability to write. That was the actual phone call. Wait, that's right. THEY NEVER CALLED ME!
Look, the world is a complicated place. Technology makes it too easy for us to text or email or kik or snapchat or whatever with other people. If you want something, do you know the easiest way to get it? This is going to come as a surprise................you should call them.
Yes, that thing that is plugged in on your desk that has numbers 0-9 and a handset? That is called a telephone. If you pick up that handset looking thingy, and you press either 7 or 10 numbers (technically, 11), and you hear this ringing sound. Then, either someone picks up the other telephone or it goes to this voice mail invention.
You see, you then get to have a conversation with someone. You talk. You work out issues. You resolve disputes. You make plans. You may even make a friend. It should not be rocket science to do this, especially if you think you are smart.
If I am smart enough to use a phone and you think you are smarter than me, than you should be smart enough to use a phone. If you can't, don't blame your generation. Don't blame your age. Blame your parents for not teaching you how to be courteous and how to interact with other people.
Is it really that hard?
Anyway, I received a letter yesterday and I thought to myself "Hmmmm............that is not professional." But then I talked to people about it. I realized its not that it was not professional. It was definitely not professional. But that was not the problem with it. The problem was that there was no common courtesy. You see, here is the phone call that preceded this letter:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
You did not misread that. That was not me losing the ability to write. That was the actual phone call. Wait, that's right. THEY NEVER CALLED ME!
Look, the world is a complicated place. Technology makes it too easy for us to text or email or kik or snapchat or whatever with other people. If you want something, do you know the easiest way to get it? This is going to come as a surprise................you should call them.
Yes, that thing that is plugged in on your desk that has numbers 0-9 and a handset? That is called a telephone. If you pick up that handset looking thingy, and you press either 7 or 10 numbers (technically, 11), and you hear this ringing sound. Then, either someone picks up the other telephone or it goes to this voice mail invention.
You see, you then get to have a conversation with someone. You talk. You work out issues. You resolve disputes. You make plans. You may even make a friend. It should not be rocket science to do this, especially if you think you are smart.
If I am smart enough to use a phone and you think you are smarter than me, than you should be smart enough to use a phone. If you can't, don't blame your generation. Don't blame your age. Blame your parents for not teaching you how to be courteous and how to interact with other people.
Is it really that hard?
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Its the freaking holidays
I don't know if anyone knows this, but its the holiday season. Yes, it is. It started on Thursday. Well, Friday for most people. Thursday, if you want to be technical. Or, for some whackjobs, November 1. Yes, some people think the holidays start the day after Halloween. Newsflash: they dont!
What is the holiday season? Is it a time to give thanks for all we have in the world? Is it a time to reflect on how lucky we are? Is it a time to pull our loved ones close, squeeze them and tell them we love them? I would say yes..............
Unfortunately, the world is full of morons and idiots. Do you know what these people think the holidays are: a time for buying every freaking thing on sale as cheaply and rudely as possible. How do I know this? Because I watch these arses do this every year.
I went to Target tonight. What did I see? Exhibit A: a lady was looking at some toy or some such nonsense. She grabbed said toy and let her 3 or 4 year old daughter take every freaking gift bag off of the shelf and put it on the floor. All of them. I couldn't get through the aisle. So she looks at her daughter as I stand there, says "no" and then moves the gift bags to the side. That's right. She doesn't put them away!
Exhibit B: some lady wanted some garbage "present." It wasn't there. Yes, surprisingly, stores run out of crap, especially cheap crap. What does she do? She yells about it. At some poor guy making $10 per hour who can barely figure out why he is being yelled at.
Exhibit C: drive through any parking lot and watch these people fight over parking spaces so they can be the closest one to the store. Why? So they can carry out bags and bags of "gifts" and not have to walk too far. Hey, a little walk may do you some good.
I am sick and tired of this stuff. Look, I don't know what holiday you celebrate but it is probably Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanzaa. Lets just say that is a good guess. Hanukkah is the festival of lights. Its not the festival of gifts. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. (Maybe that is a simplistic explanation, but its not my holiday.) It is not the celebration of the birth of Black Friday or Cyber Monday or Suck it Wednesday. Kwanzaa is a celebration of African American culture. It is not the celebration of African American gift giving.
Look, I get that getting a present is cool. It can be fun. I like getting presents as much as the next guy. But you don't have to be a douche when you are buying a gift. You can be polite. Imagine if we all stopped for 2 minutes and were nice to the moron buying the 16 whatachmacallits because he thinks they will be the hot toy and he can resell them on Craigslist or eBay and make money. Imagine if we didn't have to push people out of our way to get to some gift or we didn't have to fight over parking spaces.
Imagine, if you will, that we celebrated the spirit of the holidays, instead of the gift giving of the holidays..............
What is the holiday season? Is it a time to give thanks for all we have in the world? Is it a time to reflect on how lucky we are? Is it a time to pull our loved ones close, squeeze them and tell them we love them? I would say yes..............
Unfortunately, the world is full of morons and idiots. Do you know what these people think the holidays are: a time for buying every freaking thing on sale as cheaply and rudely as possible. How do I know this? Because I watch these arses do this every year.
I went to Target tonight. What did I see? Exhibit A: a lady was looking at some toy or some such nonsense. She grabbed said toy and let her 3 or 4 year old daughter take every freaking gift bag off of the shelf and put it on the floor. All of them. I couldn't get through the aisle. So she looks at her daughter as I stand there, says "no" and then moves the gift bags to the side. That's right. She doesn't put them away!
Exhibit B: some lady wanted some garbage "present." It wasn't there. Yes, surprisingly, stores run out of crap, especially cheap crap. What does she do? She yells about it. At some poor guy making $10 per hour who can barely figure out why he is being yelled at.
Exhibit C: drive through any parking lot and watch these people fight over parking spaces so they can be the closest one to the store. Why? So they can carry out bags and bags of "gifts" and not have to walk too far. Hey, a little walk may do you some good.
I am sick and tired of this stuff. Look, I don't know what holiday you celebrate but it is probably Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanzaa. Lets just say that is a good guess. Hanukkah is the festival of lights. Its not the festival of gifts. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. (Maybe that is a simplistic explanation, but its not my holiday.) It is not the celebration of the birth of Black Friday or Cyber Monday or Suck it Wednesday. Kwanzaa is a celebration of African American culture. It is not the celebration of African American gift giving.
Look, I get that getting a present is cool. It can be fun. I like getting presents as much as the next guy. But you don't have to be a douche when you are buying a gift. You can be polite. Imagine if we all stopped for 2 minutes and were nice to the moron buying the 16 whatachmacallits because he thinks they will be the hot toy and he can resell them on Craigslist or eBay and make money. Imagine if we didn't have to push people out of our way to get to some gift or we didn't have to fight over parking spaces.
Imagine, if you will, that we celebrated the spirit of the holidays, instead of the gift giving of the holidays..............
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