Shop local

This is going to be a bit different. No, this is going to be a lot different. I am not going to get mad. I am not going to drop any profanity. I am not going to call anyone names. Ready?

I was talking the other day with a friend of mine. We both work for ourselves and we both notice the same trend: people want to talk about shopping locally, but when push comes to shove, they don't do it. This applies to friends as well as to the general public. Let me explain.

Pretend you are a friend of mine. Now, I am a lawyer. It is what I do to support my family. And you would know this, because, at least in this example. you are a friend of mine. So, my new friend, you have a legal issue come up. You know I am a lawyer. But you decide to call some big city law firm to represent you. You pay them good money to resolve your issue. Later, you mention to me that you hired Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.

Let me explain the problem. (I will ignore, for a minute, that we are friends.) Your hard earned money goes to a big city law firm. The big city law firm's lawyers live in a different city than you live in, and a different city than I live in. The big city law firm uses products and services from the big city. They hire couriers in the big city. They pay rent to some landlord in the big city. All of that money you paid them is paid out in the big city.

If you hired me, I use local people for my services and products. My business cards are printed locally by a woman who designs them locally. She buys her products and services locally. My postage is bought locally. When I need to hire someone to do something for me, I hire someone local, whenever possible. I take my income and spend it locally at my local stores. When I go out to eat for Italian food, for example, I choose to eat at a small, local place. They hire people who live locally. They buy their food at the farmers market and from local supplies. Those suppliers buy their products locally.

You see, shopping locally gives local people money to spend locally. This is what makes a community's economic development grow. As more people spend locally, the local businesses grow, hire more local people to work there and spend more money locally. It has a mushroom effect. When you take money and spend it outside of the community, you are helping to grow those other cities.

Now, I get you can't always buy things locally. I use software that is only available from big companies. I buy paper in bulk and can't find a company that sells it in bulk. If I have to get papers sent by overnight mail, I am limited in my choices. So, it is not always possible. Further, maybe you need a patent attorney. There are none in my town. But, if you call a local attorney for a referral, that local attorney gets "goodwill" from the attorney he/she recommends. That comes back to the local attorney in referrals from the other attorney, which then helps the local economy.

And, let's be honest, there are some businesses that you will not shop at, for a variety of reasons. For example, a local business owner in my town had a dispute with me over something. Instead of disagreeing, he chose to attack my character. That is his right. However, it is then my right to decide not to give him my money. After all, I work hard for it and why would I give it to someone who thinks I am a jerk? I wouldn't and you wouldn't either.

About that friendship part: if you are a friend and you enjoy our friendship, then it is worse when you decide to give your business to someone else. If we are friends, and I don't mean Facebook friends, but real, actual friends, then you should be willing to call me when you have a problem that requires my services. I may not be able to help you, or it may not be a good fit, but a friend should do business with other friends. It is not required, but friends help friends, and that means helping them with everything. Don't tell me we are friends then buy widgets at Walmart because you think they are cheaper than I sell them for.

I may be wrong, but I think there is something to shopping locally. Who is in with me?

Fucking idiots

Okay, this one won't go on Facebook.

Fucking idiots. These people are fucking idiots. So my kids born in October, November and December can play soccer at 4, but my kid born in September cannot. Seriously? Someone thinks there is logic to this.

We all know it is bullshit. They are just making crap up. And they aren't even good at it. You mean to tell me that someone born September 9 cannot play soccer for a season that starts on September 6. But a kid who was 4 through the entire season can play. That is proof you are full of crap.

Why not just say "Look, we don't want you coaching." At least be a man about it. Right? There are plenty of times I would like to just make crap up. But I can't. Its not in my DNA. My DNA tells me to call it like I see it. So, this is how I see it: BULLSHIT!

Okay, so these idiots want to ruin youth soccer. That is fine. Go ruin it. When you have run it into the ground, don't call me. I won't be there to help you!

Its amazing how adults ruin things

Last night I received a disturbing phone call. Okay, disturbing may not be the right word. An annoying phone call. Obnoxious maybe? It caused me some annoyance. So, this morning, I wrote a letter to Elk Grove Youth Soccer and West Lake Soccer Club. Here it is (with names changed to protect the innocent):

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I am writing today after receiving a phone call last night from Ms. Jones, the assistant XXXXXXXXX for West Lake Soccer. A little background before I begin.

My kids first started playing in EGYSL in 2003. I was an assistant coach for a U6 boys team in the Laguna Creek Soccer Club. My oldest son played on that team at the ripe old age of 4. His birthday was not until after the season ended and he was in preschool at the time. We never registered him for Kindergarten at that time. My oldest son played for several years.

My second son played for West Lake starting in 2005. He was also 4 at the time. That child had an October birthday and my wife and I simultaneously registered him for preschool and Kindergarten, not knowing if we were going to hold him back. We didn’t make the decision to send him to Kindergarten until July of that year. He played for West Lake for several years.

My third son began playing soccer in 2007. He, too, was 4. He was a December birthday and never had any chance of going to Kindergarten during his first season. However, he was allowed to play without a problem. (By the way, he was allowed to play up 2 age groups when he was young as well, in 2009.)

Over the years, I have helped out EGYSL and West Lake numerous times. I was an unofficial board member for West Lake one year when Mr. Gones was the President. The next year, I was the equipment manager for the board. I received numerous calls from both EGYSL and West Lake when they needed a referee for a difficult game. I helped out countless times, including last year.

When there was a U14 team with no coach, I was asked if I would coach the team. My 11 year old was playing and should have been playing in U12. However, I agreed to play him up a year and coach a team, despite not wanting to coach that age or coach my son. That team, by the way, had 3 11 year olds on it to start the season, 3 kids who had never played soccer, and never more than 13 at a game, with most games having 11 or 12 players. Yet, the boys managed to go a respectable 5-5 and finished 4-1 to end the season.

With that background in place, I received a call last night from Ms. Jones. My 4 year old daughter, who has the earliest of any of my children’s birthdays, September 9, is not allowed to play soccer this year, despite me signing up to coach her team. She is signed up for Transitional Kindergarten because EGUSD will not let us challenge kindergarten until we are within 60 days of her birthday. That has been our plan, with the testing to occur on her birthday. However, I now understand that my daughter cannot play soccer this year. Honestly, this baffles me.

All 4 of my kids are fall birthdays. Of my 3 older children, they all played soccer at 4, which is when I started, even though 2 of them were never going into kindergarten when they started playing. Those two were both in preschool. However, suddenly the oldest of my children, the one most prepared to go to kindergarten, the most mature, and the most ready to play soccer, can’t play. This makes absolutely no sense. Quite honestly, it seems like adults ruining an opportunity for kids to play.

My daughter won’t play this year. You can send a refund check to me. There are two other families who signed up their kids to play on my team. I have talked to one already and I am sure they are going to request a refund as well. I believe that the 2^nd family will request a refund as well. (Incidentally, Ms. Moser believes this is a mistake for those families, but if three girls who have been best friends for 2 years can’t play soccer together when the 3 dads were going to share coaching, then that is the decision for the families to make, not anyone else.) She may play next year, but she may not. She wanted to try soccer. She has other interests and will pursue those other interests. Sadly, while I believe that soccer does more to teach our youth about sports, sportsmanship, working with others, etc…

I believe that once again rules have been made with absolutely no forethought. Are all kinds between September 1 and December 1, the old cut off date, going to be told that they can’t play soccer? Will they find other activities and just not play soccer? Will kids who challenge into kindergarten after August 1 simply be told that they have to wait another year and miss out on that year of bonding? It is your league and you can make whatever rules you see fit. However, making it harder for kids to play soccer seems counterproductive especially in a time when “soccer fever,” something I have been waiting for since I saw Pele play in the 1970s, is finally taking root in Sacramento and the US. 

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Now, let me rant. 

What the hell is wrong with people? Ignore for a minute all that I have done for the league over the years. Pretend I am Stern John. I don't know jack. Okay? Ready?

You have a kid who wants to play. And yet you say no. You are turning down a) money and b) kids. Just so we are clear, youth sports are designed for, wait for it..........................................................the youth. Yes, without kids, you have no sports league. No teams. No games. No league. No adults to get in the way. You need the kids. The kids need the adults substantially less.

How do I know this? I grew up playing sports. I played soccer in a league. But I also played basketball at the park. We played football. We played hockey. We played wiffle ball, and for the old timers, we played stoop ball, even if we called it curb ball. There were no leagues for most of this. We just played on the street, in a basement, or wherever we could find space. There were no adults around and we turned out just fine - other than one broken arm. 

And you are turning down a volunteer. Every freaking year sports leagues call up parents and say "Hey, we need a coach for this team. Will you volunteer?" They beg and plead for volunteers. Now they have one - Stern John. And they say no. They are turning down a coach. Seriously. For some made up rule that has never applied before. Nonsense.

Now, pretend I am me again. When they had no coach last year, there were 13 kids who could have been told that they can't play. A grand total of ZERO parents stepped up to coach the team. I didn't know these kids from Adam. But I agreed to coach and agreed to move my kid up an age group. And yet the reverse does not apply - they won't let my daughter play now. Seriously, if her birthday were 8 days earlier, we wouldn't be having this discussion. But she can't play because of 8 days. WHEN THEY HAVE A GUY WILLING TO COACH! 

And, let's be clear, in addition to having volunteered for these people for years, I am a damn good coach. Yes, I said it. I am a damn good coach. I could put up my team's records. But that isn't the sign of a good coach. My teams have fun. My kids learn the game. And I assure you that I do drills that most of these coaches couldn't figure out if you gave them step by step instructions, but that the kids rock at doing. They are easy - too easy for the coaches who think they know more than I do. See, you can read that here: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2009/05/beautiful-game.html 

36 years of soccer playing. 20 years of coaching. More than two decades of being a ref. And yet, I can't coach my daughter and 2 of her friends for some made up BS rule.

I will say - I think if I were Stern John and not Jon Stein, this wouldn't have happened. Yes, its freaking politics. Someone was pissed off that I did something and this is a good way of making a point. Great. You win. You are right. My daughter, who has wanted to play soccer since she was a baby, can't play this year. Next year, who knows? Maybe she plays. Maybe she doesn't play. She has other interests. 

I sure as hell don't need to coach. You mean spend 4 months playing babysitter because parents can't bother to sit at practice. Do everything because parents don't volunteer. Get yelled at because little Billy is playing the wrong position or didn't play enough of the game or the team lost. Get yelled at because some kid didn't get his medal, but mom and dad refused to help.. Put up nets, take down nets. And do it all with a smile. Yeah, I won't miss that at all. 

Sadly, I wonder what parents will get a call asking them to coach their kid when a willing coach was ready for his daughter...............I hope someone steps up. Otherwise, once again, the adults will have ruined it for the kids. 

More on MLS in Elk Grove

Okay, so I wrote this on December 14, 2011: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2011/12/mls-in-elk-grove-i-think-not.html Let me hit the highlights if you don't want to read it:

1. So where to start? Should we start with Fabian Nunez? Dude was Speaker of the State Assembly. Dude's son killed a guy. Yes, we all make mistakes. I have made plenty. Just ask my wife. But, murder, manslaughter or anything close to it? Not on my list of sins. But, I get it, people screw up.

2. First, Sacramento could not support the Sacramento Knights, a minor league indoor soccer team. Stockton, our neighbor to the south, could not support the Stockton Cougars, another minor league indoor soccer team. We can barely keep the freaking Kings in Sacramento (although one of their idiot play by play guys is the reason I won't support them). We have lost 2, or is it 3, pro football teams. Heck, San Jose lost the Earthquakes several years ago. Yet, somehow, Elk Grove is going to support professional soccer.

3. Elk Grove has a mall that hasn't been finished. Elk Grove has a ridiculous number of foreclosures. Elk Grove has unemployment around 10%. Elk Grove schools are struggling. Yet, these people are going to support a professional sports team?

Then on November 4, 2013, I wrote this: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2013/11/morons-i-say-morons.html You don't want to read it? Fine, more highlights:

1. Do you know who is getting the next MLS team? Not Elk Grove. Why not? Because Elk Grove doesn't freaking listen. Not just to me, but to MLS. Orlando is getting the next MLS team. Why? Because Orlando deserves it. How do I know? Because Orlando has supported minor league soccer for years. Orlando has shown it is a great soccer city. So, MLS is going to reward Orlando. The moral of the story: if you want to play with the big boys, follow the fucking rules, you morons

2. You see, Elk Grove is not a destination. Never has been. Never will be. It doesn't need to be. Its not why we moved here. People moved here because they like it as it is, a small town where you can still go to the grocery store and see friends. A place where everybody knows your name. You walk in and feel like Norm.

Now, let me go a step further. There was a city council meeting last night. Here are some highlights courtesy of: http://www.elkgrovenews.net/2014/06/elk-grove-to-continue-its-pursuit-of.html Laura Gill, the city managerm expressed concern over a number of negotiation points that she said were not favorable for the city.  And then there is this: Patrick Hume asked "You are the captain of the ship, someday you will have shore leave and sipping lemonade, would you look back on this and say it was a good deal?"

"Not at the moment," Gill responded.

"The only reason why I say that is that because you all have lots of things you would like to get done," she added. "You have a civic center you would like to finish, you have an animal control shelter you need to contemplate once we get feedback from the consultant, and frankly, it's a matter of priorities."  

Of course, there is also this: Hume said he supported the competitive field component of the proposal, but expressed skepticism on the public financing aspect. He noted that the recent Sacramento County sales tax proposal to fund a soccer stadium there would only have a 20-percent public financing component.  

As I said on another page, "Not only is it a bad deal, but there is ZERO chance of getting an MLS team. Let's see: Minnesota is getting one. There is NYCFC. There is Miami. There is Orlando. There are ZERO teams that are moving. Then, if one reads what MLS actually says, they clearly state that you need a USL team to get an MLS team, unless you are a billionaire or David Beckham, neither of whom are building in Elk Grove. Guess who that means gets a team? Sac Republic. Why? Because THEY CAN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! Seriously, folks, we learned this in kindergarten. If you can follow directions, it helps." 

This is absurd. It is moronic. It is idiotic. It is completely ridiculous. Look, MLS has laid out the criteria. There is one team in Sacramento following these criteria: Sacramento Republic. It is easy. Heck, even Wikipedia gets it: In February 2014, Garber again confirmed Minneapolis and San Antonio as candidates, and also mentioned San Diego and Sacramento as expansion candidates

This is idiotic. It is either a colossal clusterfuck, a sign that the Elk Grove City council has way too much free time, a sign that there is too much money for people, but not the city, or a sign that politicians will do anything to please a politician who has more power. I don't care which one you pick. Either way it is a mess, a disaster, an idea that will destroy Elk Grove while not resulting in an MLS team. 

Freaking idiots! 

Some thoughts on my soccer

So today I played soccer. It is my regular Sunday soccer game. And when I got out there, as I was warming up, I thought "Am I done?"

You know they say that you are always the last one to know its time to hang up the cleats. It applies in every sport. Brett Favre. Dan Marino. Giorgio Chinaglia. It happens in every sport. And I thought maybe it was my time.

Then the game started. It was nothing different while I played. But the more I played, the less I enjoyed it. I probably should have quit early. But I didn't. I kept playing. And playing. And getting more and more frustrated. Maybe it was the whining. Maybe it was the piece of shit slide tackle. Maybe it was the guys who stand in front of the fucking goal. Maybe it was the guy who thought we played cherry picking soccer. I don't know.

But, maybe it was me. Maybe the game has just passed me by. Maybe at 40 it is my time to hang it up. Maybe I go with the fact that I had a good run. I have been playing 36 years. I have made quite a few friends. I have enjoyed most of those 36 years. I have great memories with my teammates. I have great memories with my dad. I have been fortunate to play in many states and see many different things.

One day, a few years ago, I realized I was no longer able to play competitive soccer. I just couldn't care enough about winning. I wasn't willing to do what some of these a-holes were doing. I wasn't going to recruit college players. I wasn't going to stack my team or bring in ringers. I was just going to play and enjoy the game. But when other people play like its the World Cup and you don't care anymore, you realize it is time to call an end to playing and worrying about winning.

Today struck me as one of those days. Maybe it is just too much. Maybe driving there and playing is not what I need. Maybe I need to fish more. Maybe I need to sit back and watch others play. Maybe I need to find another way to relieve my stress. I don't know. I do know this is the first time in 36 years I have thought about giving up the game.

I will take some time off. I will think about it. But, I do wonder if the fact that I am thinking about this is my subconscious' way of telling me it is time............

When are we going to stop?

Okay, so I have to get this off my chest. Let me start with this: Donald Sterling is an idiot. He is also, probably, a racist. I assume we all agree on that. If you don't know what I am talking about, A - take your head out from the sand you buried it in, B - you are a moron. So, go with this assumption.

But before we all tell the world that Donald Sterling is the anti-Christ, let's stop and think about our own behavior. I have written about this before. But let me re-state my position since some idiot like Sterling comes along and people stop thinking about racism properly.

If you are an African-American, and you use the "n" word, then you really can't complain when other people use that word. Why? Because you have implicitly stated it is okay to use it. Don't go with "It is a term of endearment when I talk to my buddies." It isn't. It is a racist term. You may not think you are a racist, but if you are using the N word, you are promoting racist. You see, racism can't go on if good people stand up and say enough is enough.

And I could substitute "African-American" and "n word" for a variety of groups. Jews and the "k word." Mexican and the "w word." (Think about it people.) Puerto Ricans and the "s word." How many more examples do you need? These words have meaning and those meanings are evil.

Then I turn on ESPN Radio. I am listening to the Dan LeBatard show. He has some co-host, some side kick, some idiot, Stugotz on his show. I don't know Stugotz from Stu-pid-asshole. But this guy says he has a different take on the Donald Sterling issue. So he then proceeds to say that all Jewish women are crazy.

How the hell is this different from any of the other racist, anti-semitic, misogynistic comments that people make? You see, the problem here is that when you paint with a broad brush, you are, by definition, being a bigot.

All soccer players are wusses. All football players are dumb jocks. All cheerleaders are easy. All sports talk hosts are failures at sports. All tv people are stuck up. All side kicks on radio shows are idiots. None of these are true. But you can make those statements - and sound like a douchebag.

But, worse than that, you can do it with race, religion, national origin and sexual orientation. "All blacks are dumb." NO! They aren't. But you could say it. "All Jews are cheap." Really? "All mormons are cultists." Sure, if you are an idiot. "All gays are pushing the 'gay agenda.'" (What the fuck is a gay agenda?) Every single one of them? All Africans are unsophisticated. Not true.  All Americans are lazy. Except the person saying it, of course.

Look, Dan Le Batard should know better. Stugotz, who claims to be Jewish, really should know better. I don't care if you are a Jewish guy and talking about Jewish people. If you use your national platform to talk negatively about a group, any group, even a group to which you belong, you should be canned. You are only encouraging those morons who believe what you said. So, now the anti-semitic folks are going to say "See, all Jews are crazy. Some Jewish dude said it on ESPN Radio." You have used your platform not for good, but for evil. You are a moron.

When are we going to stop?

Idiots

So today on Facebook, my status was:

Dear Lawyers:

1. I don't care where the hell you went to college.
2. I don't care where the hell you went to law school.
3. I don't care how old you were when you graduated college.
4. I don't care how old you were when you gradated law school.
5. You do NOT have a doctorate. You are not a doctor. Never have been. Never will be.
6. If you are so pompous that you think I need to know 1 through 4 or you plaster your website with 5, you and I will have a problem.

Why would this be my status? Because I was in a bad mood. Let me give you my rules for dealing with people:

A. I don't trust you if you go by your middle name. You are starting out our relationship, be it personal or professional, by hiding something. Primarily, you are hiding your first name. I don't know why you are hiding it. I don't care why you are hiding it. I just know that you are hiding it. Remember that dumb saying that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression? Well, that is true when you go by your middle name. Its like giving me the middle finger! 

B. If you have to tell me how smart you are, then you are not that smart. I told this story to someone today. I didn't know that my dad had his PhD until I was 12. I didn't have a clue as to how smart he was until I was 15 or 16. I didn't really know how smart he was until I was in my 20s. Why? Because he never had to prove to anyone how smart he was. He was just smart. If you think you have to prove to me that you are smart, then you aren't really that smart. Easy enough?

C. If you have to tell me how old you were when you made some major life accomplishment, you are a douchebag. I don't care if you were 10 when you graduated high school. I don't care if you were Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I don't care if Doogie Howser was based on you. Not only do I not care, no one else cares. If you think you need to tell people, then you are a douchebag. Plain and simple. Hence, "Dear Douchebag: We don't care how old you were when you were potty trained. Sincerely, Civilization."

D. If you tell me how old you were when you graduated from college, you have a small dick. Seriously. Yes, I said it. No one cares. That would be the worst pick up line ever. "Hey baby, I graduated college at 15. Wanna have sex?" Worst. Ever. Seriously. It doesn't matter if you were 15, 25, 35, or 95. No one cares. I have to think about how old I was when I graduated college. And law school. Why? Because I don't care how old I was. Life isn't about what you do at a certain age. It is about what you do to make the world a better place.

E. If you have a law degree, you are not a doctor. End of story. Don't even argue it. I am not Dr. Jones. You are an attorney. You are a lawyer. You are a person. You are not a doctor. Don't refer to yourself that way. If you must refer to yourself that way, then you need to call your local plastic surgeon because someone pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on you. (Look it  up, youngsters!) Seriously. We are not doctors. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 

F. If you have fallen into more than one of these categories, you need a life. Not a "are you breathing?" life, but a real, honest to goodness, fucking life. Get out of the house. Make some friends. Stop driving your Bentley or your Rolls or your whatever. Go out to dinner with some friends. Join Match.com. Get laid. Do something with your life. Because you clearly think the world revolves around you. It does not. Trust me. It never has. It never will. 

Look, this is simple. Just be a decent person. Fuck up once in a while. It is okay. But don't brag about yourself. Don't think anyone else cares. Don't try to be a superhero. Just be yourself. And if you look in the mirror and you can't be yourself, then realize you are an idiot. People see through fake. Sure, it may work for a year or 10 years, but at the end of this, you end up as a loser. 

Am I clear?