Its been a long week. No, a long two weeks. No, a long three weeks. Basically, its been a long few weeks and I am grumpy. People are morons. Not all people. Not even most people. Just some people. Its just that some people suck a lot more than others. I have come across three people in the last 48 hours who suck. A ton. A lot of tons. These three suck more than adding up the weight of all of the Duggars. These three suck more than all of the moms from Toddlers and Tiaras. These three suck more than Kanye West - and that is a lot. By the way, why does anyone invite that guy anywhere? He has no social skills. None. He should go some place special - some place where Tom Hanks got lost in Cast Away. So, without further rants, here are my top 3 sucky people of the week (or month or year), in no particular order:
1. Another attorney. I won't name this young associate at a big law firm. The Lawyers Big Brain Sucks. (I just gave you a hint. Its funny. Go read it again. Trust me.) Anyway, he thinks he is so smart. I think he thinks his stuff don't stink. It does. Badly! Dude served me with discovery. I have answers due on Friday. I faxed him a letter at 9pm last night explaining that I have been out most of the last 4 weeks or so and I needed a three week extension. This bright guy writes back to me and says he will give me a one week extension. He also tells me how my inability to respond shows that my case is not very good.
Huh? My case is fine. I just haven't been able to do the work. I know some people think I have 28 hours in a day. But, alas, I only have 24 hours in a day. (And see #2 - I don't have 48 hours in a day either!) And when you subtract hospital time and family time, it left me like -3 hours a day. Hey, smart guy: some of us take care of our other responsibilities first because we expect professional courtesy. If that is too much for you, go sail a boat around the world by yourself. Do something solitary like that. The rest of the world will run better without you!
2. The State Bar. I know - a favorite topic of mine. There is an article in the current Bar Journal (by the way, calling it a journal is a bit like calling my blog actual writing) about the new State Bar President. There is so much to criticize. But let me keep it simple. He says he is going to split his time as follows: 75% as State Bar President, 75% practicing law and 50% on his family. WOW!
First, let me make this perfectly clear: You can only have 100% of your time. There are not 48 hours in a day, Mr. President. There are only 24. Is it really that hard? Do we wonder why high school kids cannot do basic math when a lawyer thinks he has 200% of his time? Sheesh. Here is an idea: if I can find 10 high school kids who recognize the mistake, el presidente, then you should make a donation to their high school. Deal?
Second, it is not funny. It is not laugh out loud funny. It is not chuckle worthy. It is not even ha ha funny. In fact, I have seen whoopie cushions that are funnier than this.
Third, it does not mean you are a hard worker. It means you have absolutely no common sense. If your family is last, your priorities are screwed up. Go read Tuesdays with Morrie. Go see Dr. Phil. Go talk to someone who has lost someone. I know you are older than dirt, but please, get into the current decade. Or any time in the last 2 decades. People do not respect you because you claim to work 3 times as much as you spend with your family. People just realize that you have no freaking sense. Octomom has more common sense than you. Guliani and Bill have more common sense than you and they can barely complete full sentences. Seriously, anyone on Project Runway would be able to recognize that you have absolutely no sense in the 21st Century.
3. School Board members. Okay, so there is a school board member in my town. Short version of the story: She went out on disability. She started taking a prescription for pain even though it was not for pain. She gambled and ran up huge debts. She blamed it on the prescription. She filed for bankruptcy. She then borrowed money from a friend and told the friend she would pay her back after she settled her case against the drug company. She then amended her bankruptcy to include the friend. After her bankruptcy was discharged, she settled her case against the drug company for about $300,000 - or so the story goes. She tells people it was a lot of money.
So many things wrong with this. First, she had compulsive gambling but was not compulsive when she was on the school board? Really? Come now. Do we look that dumb? We don't, but the rest of the school board believes her. Yes, these folks believe that she was not compulsive at all in her school board dealings but was compulsive in her personal life. Sheesh. Our school board members are dumber than rocks.
Second, she was taking this for an off label use. Who's problem is that? Not ours.
Third, she screwed her friend. And she has no problem with that. Sure, it may be legal. But it isn't ethical. So, now we have a school board member who is unethical. Nice. That is what we want to teach our kids. How about we have her and the State Bar President get together and teach a class. Math for unethical imbeciles. Of course, most of the students would be able to figure it out better than the teachers.
Oh, and by the way lady, you did not have a compulsion to sex. No one would have sex with you. The folks at the Society for the Blind turned you down. Sexaholics Anonymous members wouldn't even touch you. The Aint's fans of the 80s would give you all of their paper bags and Bill Clinton still wouldn't touch you. Let's be real.
So, there you have it. Three people who suck - a lot. September 16, 2009 edition.
Showing posts with label State Bar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label State Bar. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
SB 94 and AB 764
So our friends at the Capitol are at it again. Now, they clearly don't have enough to do. I mean, it looks like they are sitting around doing nothing and trying to save everyone. After all, we don't have a $24 Billion budget deficit. Yes, that is Billion with a B. How big of a deficit is this? This deficit is as big as the GDP of Trinidad and Tobago. Okay, if you don't get GDP, go ask your friendly neighborhood economist or that outstanding econ professor at CSU Sacramento, Prof. Lang.
What would you do if you had a $24,000,000,000 deficit? I would go about fixing it. But not these people. We are on the verge of paying vendors with IOUs and they are still doing other things. What great things are they doing? Trying to screw consumers AND put a whole bunch of good attorneys out of business.
Lets start with this concept: if you can't keep your own house in order, don't tell me how to run mine. Seriously, it is easy to sit around as a legislator and tell people who to run their businesses. But you can't even take care of your own business. I think the expression these days is "handle your business." I know, it is your business to protect people. That comes somewhere after PASSING A BALANCED BUDGET.
Now for those in the Assembly and Senate reading this, and I know you do because you freaking follow me on Twitter, let me give you a remedial math lesson. You cannot spend more than you take in. Simple. Income minus expenses cannot be a negative number. If it is, you are broke. If it continues, you file for bankruptcy. If it still continues, you end up being California.
You want to know why people spend more than they make? Because they look at their leaders who clearly think it is an acceptable thing to do. Oh, and don't sit there Mr. Conservative and blame the liberals, you won't freaking raise taxes. And don't blame the conservatives, Mr. Liberal who was giving away the farm doing the good times. Really, do you think that giving cost of living increases and step increases for pay can go on indefinitely?
Seriously, these folks are giving money away left and right. Now, I understand that some state workers are getting furloughed 3 days per week. That is a 15% pay cut. Where is your 15% pay cut, Dave "I want to be insurance commissioner" Jones. (For google purposes, DAVE JONES!") Darrell "I can't do math" Steinberg, I don't see you taking a 15% pay cut. But you want the working folks to take one. No, not want, force it on them. And Karen Bass, you aren't any better. Steinberg and Bass should resign now for their utter lack of leadership ability. You should have resigned before.
But, let me get back on track. While these yahoo's are screwing around over a state budget, a few of their colleagues decided they should try to regulate attorneys who help people get loan modifications. Their bills would ban an attorney from collecting any money up front. Yes, that's right. We would have to get paid AFTER we get the client a result. Fine. But, what client's do they think are going to pay AFTER getting what they want? Let's be honest. The mechanic doesn't give you the car back before you pay to make sure you are happy with the work. The home builder doesn't fix every problem before having the money. The legislator doesn't balance the budget before getting paid. No, these folks all get paid up front.
But let's play along. Now as an attorney I cannot get paid for the work I do up front. I can't even put the money in my trust account. I have to trust my client to pay me on the back end. Would some of my clients do this? Yep. Would most of my clients do this? Probably. Would all of my clients do this? Nope.
Imagine if you go to work every day and your boss decides to pay you 75% of the time. Would you go back to work? No. Of course not. Who would do work when there is no guarantee of payment? Very few people.
So, what happens in this scenario? The attorneys who are doing the work stop doing it. What's the problem with that? Well, according to the folks at the Capitol and the consumer groups, nothing. After all, the banks are doing a fine job giving people loan modifications. And the attorneys are all ripping people off. We have to stop the attorneys.
A little perspective: the State Bar has about 850 to 900 complaints about attorneys handling loan modifications. They have 100 attorneys under investigation. There are 200,000 or so attorneys in the State. Um, I am not that good at math, but that is, .05%. You are passing a law to stop less than 1% of the attorneys in the state who are scumbags.
Now, the banks? Nope, they can pay their attorneys anything they want. And the bank lawyers? They can charge anything they want and get paid up front. You see, we have to stop the attorneys who are representing consumers. We have to stop the small guys. Are there bad attorneys? Yep. I heard of a guy who has made millions since the beginning of this year alone and done no work.
Seriously, the legislators and the consumer groups think that the banks are doing a fine job as are the non profits. Have you talked to someone who has called a non profit? Ask them how much help they are getting. NONE! Are the banks offering loan modifications? Sometimes. Of course, Wells Fargo turned down a client because it wasn't in WELLS FARGO's best interest. Countrywide declined a short sale because they were missing 1 page for 1 offer and there were 6 other offers. Did they notify anyone that the page was missing? Nope. Just denied it.
Heck, GMAC has all but admitted that they will take attorney cases and move them to the front of the line. Yes, those folks go first. But now there won't be any of those folks. So, what is going to happen? Anyone? Bueller? After all, if the banks did the right thing in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess, would we?
Sure, consumers are to blame. They wanted to keep up with the Jones'. That isn't good. But mortgage brokers were putting people in mortgages that they knew couldn't be afforded. And real estate agents were selling people homes that they knew were outside of their price range. And banks were writing garbage no doc loans and accepting that people who were high school dropouts were making $150,000 per year as a street sweeper. But we are now supposed to believe that these same banks are trustworthy and are going to do the right thing?
I guess our legislators are either dumb, paid off or blind. I don't care which but if any of them has the cajones to debate me on the issue, I am game. You morons can't balance a budget but you want to tell me how to run my business? Really? Should I run my business the way you run the state? Should I run a deficit? Are you going to bail me out since you are now telling me who I can and cannot charge?
But it gets worse for me. The State Bar agreed with this idea. They had a board of governors meeting. The President, of course, was on vacation and couldn't fly back for the meeting. She couldn't even attend by phone? Webex? Video conference? Freaking pick up the phone and call and be put on speaker phone? Apparently that is too complex for her. So, President-elect Howard Miller ran this meeting and pushed this idea through. Miller claims to be a plaintiff's lawyer or a consumer attorney. I guess if you consider a millionaire a consumer attorney then he may be. But he just said to every other consumer attorney "I think you guys should sit and spin."
He just agreed to let the legislature tell us how to run our business and how to charge our clients. What's next? Maybe a personal injury attorney can only charge 10%? Maybe a criminal defense attorney can only charge his client if the client avoids jail? Maybe the medical malpractice attorney shouldn't be able to charge a fee since someone in the legislature must think doctors do good things. Maybe if Miller is so happy with the way the legislature wants to regulate business, he will let them come in and tell him what he can charge and how much. No? He doesn't want that? Then here is an idea: don't support them telling me how to run my business, numskull.
We have the perfect storm. The State Bar has now decided that the legislature should tell attorneys how to charge. The legislature gets to deflect attention away from their complete and utter failure and lack of ability to do their jobs and claim they are out protecting people. And the banks get to continue making their millions of dollars by screwing consumers. And somehow the consumer groups think this is good. Do we really wonder why our state is falling apart when we have a system where I was told by a legislative staffer "that may be the truth but that won't sell in the Capitol?" When these bills pass, the government of California will have failed to protect consumers once more while continuing to cover up their incompetence.
By the way, to those of you reading this at the Capitol, the offer still stands: a public debate of these bills. Yes, that goes for you Nava, Calderon, and Corbett, as well as you Jones, Steinberg and Bass. Oh, and you alleged consumer groups, that goes for you as well. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
What would you do if you had a $24,000,000,000 deficit? I would go about fixing it. But not these people. We are on the verge of paying vendors with IOUs and they are still doing other things. What great things are they doing? Trying to screw consumers AND put a whole bunch of good attorneys out of business.
Lets start with this concept: if you can't keep your own house in order, don't tell me how to run mine. Seriously, it is easy to sit around as a legislator and tell people who to run their businesses. But you can't even take care of your own business. I think the expression these days is "handle your business." I know, it is your business to protect people. That comes somewhere after PASSING A BALANCED BUDGET.
Now for those in the Assembly and Senate reading this, and I know you do because you freaking follow me on Twitter, let me give you a remedial math lesson. You cannot spend more than you take in. Simple. Income minus expenses cannot be a negative number. If it is, you are broke. If it continues, you file for bankruptcy. If it still continues, you end up being California.
You want to know why people spend more than they make? Because they look at their leaders who clearly think it is an acceptable thing to do. Oh, and don't sit there Mr. Conservative and blame the liberals, you won't freaking raise taxes. And don't blame the conservatives, Mr. Liberal who was giving away the farm doing the good times. Really, do you think that giving cost of living increases and step increases for pay can go on indefinitely?
Seriously, these folks are giving money away left and right. Now, I understand that some state workers are getting furloughed 3 days per week. That is a 15% pay cut. Where is your 15% pay cut, Dave "I want to be insurance commissioner" Jones. (For google purposes, DAVE JONES!") Darrell "I can't do math" Steinberg, I don't see you taking a 15% pay cut. But you want the working folks to take one. No, not want, force it on them. And Karen Bass, you aren't any better. Steinberg and Bass should resign now for their utter lack of leadership ability. You should have resigned before.
But, let me get back on track. While these yahoo's are screwing around over a state budget, a few of their colleagues decided they should try to regulate attorneys who help people get loan modifications. Their bills would ban an attorney from collecting any money up front. Yes, that's right. We would have to get paid AFTER we get the client a result. Fine. But, what client's do they think are going to pay AFTER getting what they want? Let's be honest. The mechanic doesn't give you the car back before you pay to make sure you are happy with the work. The home builder doesn't fix every problem before having the money. The legislator doesn't balance the budget before getting paid. No, these folks all get paid up front.
But let's play along. Now as an attorney I cannot get paid for the work I do up front. I can't even put the money in my trust account. I have to trust my client to pay me on the back end. Would some of my clients do this? Yep. Would most of my clients do this? Probably. Would all of my clients do this? Nope.
Imagine if you go to work every day and your boss decides to pay you 75% of the time. Would you go back to work? No. Of course not. Who would do work when there is no guarantee of payment? Very few people.
So, what happens in this scenario? The attorneys who are doing the work stop doing it. What's the problem with that? Well, according to the folks at the Capitol and the consumer groups, nothing. After all, the banks are doing a fine job giving people loan modifications. And the attorneys are all ripping people off. We have to stop the attorneys.
A little perspective: the State Bar has about 850 to 900 complaints about attorneys handling loan modifications. They have 100 attorneys under investigation. There are 200,000 or so attorneys in the State. Um, I am not that good at math, but that is, .05%. You are passing a law to stop less than 1% of the attorneys in the state who are scumbags.
Now, the banks? Nope, they can pay their attorneys anything they want. And the bank lawyers? They can charge anything they want and get paid up front. You see, we have to stop the attorneys who are representing consumers. We have to stop the small guys. Are there bad attorneys? Yep. I heard of a guy who has made millions since the beginning of this year alone and done no work.
Seriously, the legislators and the consumer groups think that the banks are doing a fine job as are the non profits. Have you talked to someone who has called a non profit? Ask them how much help they are getting. NONE! Are the banks offering loan modifications? Sometimes. Of course, Wells Fargo turned down a client because it wasn't in WELLS FARGO's best interest. Countrywide declined a short sale because they were missing 1 page for 1 offer and there were 6 other offers. Did they notify anyone that the page was missing? Nope. Just denied it.
Heck, GMAC has all but admitted that they will take attorney cases and move them to the front of the line. Yes, those folks go first. But now there won't be any of those folks. So, what is going to happen? Anyone? Bueller? After all, if the banks did the right thing in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess, would we?
Sure, consumers are to blame. They wanted to keep up with the Jones'. That isn't good. But mortgage brokers were putting people in mortgages that they knew couldn't be afforded. And real estate agents were selling people homes that they knew were outside of their price range. And banks were writing garbage no doc loans and accepting that people who were high school dropouts were making $150,000 per year as a street sweeper. But we are now supposed to believe that these same banks are trustworthy and are going to do the right thing?
I guess our legislators are either dumb, paid off or blind. I don't care which but if any of them has the cajones to debate me on the issue, I am game. You morons can't balance a budget but you want to tell me how to run my business? Really? Should I run my business the way you run the state? Should I run a deficit? Are you going to bail me out since you are now telling me who I can and cannot charge?
But it gets worse for me. The State Bar agreed with this idea. They had a board of governors meeting. The President, of course, was on vacation and couldn't fly back for the meeting. She couldn't even attend by phone? Webex? Video conference? Freaking pick up the phone and call and be put on speaker phone? Apparently that is too complex for her. So, President-elect Howard Miller ran this meeting and pushed this idea through. Miller claims to be a plaintiff's lawyer or a consumer attorney. I guess if you consider a millionaire a consumer attorney then he may be. But he just said to every other consumer attorney "I think you guys should sit and spin."
He just agreed to let the legislature tell us how to run our business and how to charge our clients. What's next? Maybe a personal injury attorney can only charge 10%? Maybe a criminal defense attorney can only charge his client if the client avoids jail? Maybe the medical malpractice attorney shouldn't be able to charge a fee since someone in the legislature must think doctors do good things. Maybe if Miller is so happy with the way the legislature wants to regulate business, he will let them come in and tell him what he can charge and how much. No? He doesn't want that? Then here is an idea: don't support them telling me how to run my business, numskull.
We have the perfect storm. The State Bar has now decided that the legislature should tell attorneys how to charge. The legislature gets to deflect attention away from their complete and utter failure and lack of ability to do their jobs and claim they are out protecting people. And the banks get to continue making their millions of dollars by screwing consumers. And somehow the consumer groups think this is good. Do we really wonder why our state is falling apart when we have a system where I was told by a legislative staffer "that may be the truth but that won't sell in the Capitol?" When these bills pass, the government of California will have failed to protect consumers once more while continuing to cover up their incompetence.
By the way, to those of you reading this at the Capitol, the offer still stands: a public debate of these bills. Yes, that goes for you Nava, Calderon, and Corbett, as well as you Jones, Steinberg and Bass. Oh, and you alleged consumer groups, that goes for you as well. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
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