Quick Hits

Just a few random thoughts:

1. Ryan Seacrest - Memo to Ryan: your name is Ryan not Seacrest. You cannot just go by Seacrest. You are not Madonna or Pele. You are a freaking DJ who happened to get lucky by being on some show where people sing - badly.

2. Cars - Your car is not a beauty parlor. (I guess I am showing my upbringing. I think Californians call it a day spa.) It is a car. Drive it and put down the makeup.

3. White pants - Okay, so maybe I am old school, but the rule is no white pants between Labor Day (that is the day in September) and Memorial Day (that is the day in May). Maybe that is old fashioned. But, ladies, white pants in March with colored panties? Really? Do you think that is a good look? I don't want to see Kim Kardashian that way, wait, I don't want to see Kim Kardashian any way, but especially not that way. And I really don't want to see you that way.

4. A gallon of soda - KFC is now selling a gallon of soda. I went the other day for a medium Sprite. They offered to upsize me to a gallon. Who drinks a gallon of soda? I know you aren't sitting down with a gallon of milk and going to town at lunch. And milk is actually good for you!

5. National Memory Championships - First, why I am reading about this in Sports Illustrated? Having a memory is not a sport. It is called not having amnesia. Second, they are not "mental athletes." They are not athletes at all. They are folks who can remember things. Great, I can tell you about the 1979 NY Cosmos. That and $1.50 still only gets me a small coffee. Sheesh.