Its Ides of March - 14 today. (Really? I have to explain that joke. If I have to explain it, then it isn't funny. But this one is funny. Or maybe just to me.)
So here is what I have been thinking about today - a lot. Relationships. All kinds of relationships. And I discovered something. You get out of it what you put into it. Or, at least, you should. You want equal value, right? Like if I am going to buy a hamburger and it costs $4 it better be a good one. If it costs $10, it better be really fucking good. Like, YUM good. But if I buy a $10 burger and it tastes like a Big Mac, I am going to be one unhappy, hungry guy. And you don't want to see me unhappy and hungry. That is a bad combination.
But think about your relationships. How many of them are equal? Are you the person who is getting more than you are giving? Or, maybe worse, are you the person giving and giving and giving and not getting anything back? It is better to give than receive, I think. But does that work in relationships?
Are you the friend who everyone comes to when they need $20? Are you the friend who is always there to change the flat tire (do people even change their own tires anymore?) or drive them to the store?
I guess what I have realized is that I have too many relationships where I give and do not receive. (Yes, clearly this is directed at certain people and those people won't even know who they are.) Look, I don't mind helping out. I don't mind doing something to help a friend. But shouldn't there be more to it than calling me when you need something? If I am a friend, shouldn't it be more than the text message asking me to do something?
I have actually unfriended people from Facebook because they bugged too much. But then I go back and I still have 403 "friends." Now some of these people are people I know professionally. Some of them are people who I knew growing up. I will give them a break. But some of these people claim to be friends but never have anything to say unless it starts with "Can I.......?" As in, can I borrow $20? Or "Can I get you to do this for me?"
Do I really want these people in my life? Do I need them? I don't think so. I think I am going to start thinking about these relationships more. While I dont expect it to be 50/50 all the time, if its more like 70/30 most of the time, its probably time to end the relationship. Some food for thought for me.............
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Relationships are hard work. That's why most of us don't really have 200+ friends like we claim on Facebook. I look at my list frequently and think, "Who on this list could I call at 2:00 am with a family emergency or if I'm just breaking down and need someone?" I wouldn't feel comfortable calling most of them at 2 in the afternoon, let alone any other time. I try to be the friend that reaches out, to keep friendships alive, but sometimes it's too much and I have to let go.
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