What is the problem with lawyers?

Seriously. This is not a set up for a joke. What the heck is wrong with lawyers? Are we dumb? Stupid? Or do we have a God complex?

First, we have that dweeb from yesterday. He walked in with his sunglasses. On a rainy day. Sure, not a huge deal. But, his **** stinks like the rest of us. Don't think you are that cool.

Second, I have to deal with some numnuts who is in law school and gives out legal advice on a website. He tells people they have rights that just do not exist. His screen name ends in "JD". Um, news flash - JD stands for Juris Doctor. Especially when you tell people you study the law. If you have not graduated, you are not a JD. You may be a JD candidate, but you are not a JD. Oh, and suddenly blaming it on some mysterious partner is BS.

Then, I have to deal with a "law group" that does not disclose that the guy with the most experienced has been disciplined 3 times by the state bar for practicing while he was not authorized to practice law. That is called a no-no. Oh, and the state bar keeps suspending him and staying the suspension. Really? Is that the best we can do? The state bar is supposed to protect the public. If some guy who has a law license cannot figure out THREE times that he cannot practice while he is suspended, then he should be out. It is like baseball. Or committing felonies in the state of California. Three strikes and you are out.

Next, I get a call from a potential client who was told by another law firm that he had to hire them while he was on the phone and could not talk to his wife. It was a limited time offer. What? Is this Ron Freaking Popeil's law firm? If you call now, do you also get a free will? Or do they give you a Ginsu knife? Is there a guarantee? What the hell is that? A limited time offer? This is not Boiler Room with Giovanni Ribbisi or Two for the Money with Matthew McConaughey. It is the practice of law. It is a profession. It is supposed to be respected.

Finally, a law firm asked for authorization to get money directly from a client's account and had him record his approval. WTF? If a client pays me, it is with a check. A real, live check. Why would I want to have access to his account? Why do I need it? Even with a wire transfer, I do not need access to the sender's account. That makes you a used car salesman, or worse, a debt collector.

But, really, do we expect the public to respect us when we cannot even follow basic conventions of society? We are not better than our clients or anyone else. We happen to have gone to school for longer. That is it. I know plenty of people who have degrees and are dumb as a rock. I also know plenty of people who have no degree and are smarter than half of my law school class. Lawyer are people who are supposed to be professionals. We are not snake oil salesmen. We are not offering one time deals. We are offering to provide people with information, advice and counsel. Hence the expression "counselor at law."

This makes me sick. Really. The legal profession needs to be cleaned up.