More on MLS in Elk Grove

Okay, so I wrote this on December 14, 2011: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2011/12/mls-in-elk-grove-i-think-not.html Let me hit the highlights if you don't want to read it:

1. So where to start? Should we start with Fabian Nunez? Dude was Speaker of the State Assembly. Dude's son killed a guy. Yes, we all make mistakes. I have made plenty. Just ask my wife. But, murder, manslaughter or anything close to it? Not on my list of sins. But, I get it, people screw up.

2. First, Sacramento could not support the Sacramento Knights, a minor league indoor soccer team. Stockton, our neighbor to the south, could not support the Stockton Cougars, another minor league indoor soccer team. We can barely keep the freaking Kings in Sacramento (although one of their idiot play by play guys is the reason I won't support them). We have lost 2, or is it 3, pro football teams. Heck, San Jose lost the Earthquakes several years ago. Yet, somehow, Elk Grove is going to support professional soccer.

3. Elk Grove has a mall that hasn't been finished. Elk Grove has a ridiculous number of foreclosures. Elk Grove has unemployment around 10%. Elk Grove schools are struggling. Yet, these people are going to support a professional sports team?

Then on November 4, 2013, I wrote this: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2013/11/morons-i-say-morons.html You don't want to read it? Fine, more highlights:

1. Do you know who is getting the next MLS team? Not Elk Grove. Why not? Because Elk Grove doesn't freaking listen. Not just to me, but to MLS. Orlando is getting the next MLS team. Why? Because Orlando deserves it. How do I know? Because Orlando has supported minor league soccer for years. Orlando has shown it is a great soccer city. So, MLS is going to reward Orlando. The moral of the story: if you want to play with the big boys, follow the fucking rules, you morons

2. You see, Elk Grove is not a destination. Never has been. Never will be. It doesn't need to be. Its not why we moved here. People moved here because they like it as it is, a small town where you can still go to the grocery store and see friends. A place where everybody knows your name. You walk in and feel like Norm.

Now, let me go a step further. There was a city council meeting last night. Here are some highlights courtesy of: http://www.elkgrovenews.net/2014/06/elk-grove-to-continue-its-pursuit-of.html Laura Gill, the city managerm expressed concern over a number of negotiation points that she said were not favorable for the city.  And then there is this: Patrick Hume asked "You are the captain of the ship, someday you will have shore leave and sipping lemonade, would you look back on this and say it was a good deal?"

"Not at the moment," Gill responded.

"The only reason why I say that is that because you all have lots of things you would like to get done," she added. "You have a civic center you would like to finish, you have an animal control shelter you need to contemplate once we get feedback from the consultant, and frankly, it's a matter of priorities."  

Of course, there is also this: Hume said he supported the competitive field component of the proposal, but expressed skepticism on the public financing aspect. He noted that the recent Sacramento County sales tax proposal to fund a soccer stadium there would only have a 20-percent public financing component.  

As I said on another page, "Not only is it a bad deal, but there is ZERO chance of getting an MLS team. Let's see: Minnesota is getting one. There is NYCFC. There is Miami. There is Orlando. There are ZERO teams that are moving. Then, if one reads what MLS actually says, they clearly state that you need a USL team to get an MLS team, unless you are a billionaire or David Beckham, neither of whom are building in Elk Grove. Guess who that means gets a team? Sac Republic. Why? Because THEY CAN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! Seriously, folks, we learned this in kindergarten. If you can follow directions, it helps." 

This is absurd. It is moronic. It is idiotic. It is completely ridiculous. Look, MLS has laid out the criteria. There is one team in Sacramento following these criteria: Sacramento Republic. It is easy. Heck, even Wikipedia gets it: In February 2014, Garber again confirmed Minneapolis and San Antonio as candidates, and also mentioned San Diego and Sacramento as expansion candidates

This is idiotic. It is either a colossal clusterfuck, a sign that the Elk Grove City council has way too much free time, a sign that there is too much money for people, but not the city, or a sign that politicians will do anything to please a politician who has more power. I don't care which one you pick. Either way it is a mess, a disaster, an idea that will destroy Elk Grove while not resulting in an MLS team. 

Freaking idiots! 

Some thoughts on my soccer

So today I played soccer. It is my regular Sunday soccer game. And when I got out there, as I was warming up, I thought "Am I done?"

You know they say that you are always the last one to know its time to hang up the cleats. It applies in every sport. Brett Favre. Dan Marino. Giorgio Chinaglia. It happens in every sport. And I thought maybe it was my time.

Then the game started. It was nothing different while I played. But the more I played, the less I enjoyed it. I probably should have quit early. But I didn't. I kept playing. And playing. And getting more and more frustrated. Maybe it was the whining. Maybe it was the piece of shit slide tackle. Maybe it was the guys who stand in front of the fucking goal. Maybe it was the guy who thought we played cherry picking soccer. I don't know.

But, maybe it was me. Maybe the game has just passed me by. Maybe at 40 it is my time to hang it up. Maybe I go with the fact that I had a good run. I have been playing 36 years. I have made quite a few friends. I have enjoyed most of those 36 years. I have great memories with my teammates. I have great memories with my dad. I have been fortunate to play in many states and see many different things.

One day, a few years ago, I realized I was no longer able to play competitive soccer. I just couldn't care enough about winning. I wasn't willing to do what some of these a-holes were doing. I wasn't going to recruit college players. I wasn't going to stack my team or bring in ringers. I was just going to play and enjoy the game. But when other people play like its the World Cup and you don't care anymore, you realize it is time to call an end to playing and worrying about winning.

Today struck me as one of those days. Maybe it is just too much. Maybe driving there and playing is not what I need. Maybe I need to fish more. Maybe I need to sit back and watch others play. Maybe I need to find another way to relieve my stress. I don't know. I do know this is the first time in 36 years I have thought about giving up the game.

I will take some time off. I will think about it. But, I do wonder if the fact that I am thinking about this is my subconscious' way of telling me it is time............

When are we going to stop?

Okay, so I have to get this off my chest. Let me start with this: Donald Sterling is an idiot. He is also, probably, a racist. I assume we all agree on that. If you don't know what I am talking about, A - take your head out from the sand you buried it in, B - you are a moron. So, go with this assumption.

But before we all tell the world that Donald Sterling is the anti-Christ, let's stop and think about our own behavior. I have written about this before. But let me re-state my position since some idiot like Sterling comes along and people stop thinking about racism properly.

If you are an African-American, and you use the "n" word, then you really can't complain when other people use that word. Why? Because you have implicitly stated it is okay to use it. Don't go with "It is a term of endearment when I talk to my buddies." It isn't. It is a racist term. You may not think you are a racist, but if you are using the N word, you are promoting racist. You see, racism can't go on if good people stand up and say enough is enough.

And I could substitute "African-American" and "n word" for a variety of groups. Jews and the "k word." Mexican and the "w word." (Think about it people.) Puerto Ricans and the "s word." How many more examples do you need? These words have meaning and those meanings are evil.

Then I turn on ESPN Radio. I am listening to the Dan LeBatard show. He has some co-host, some side kick, some idiot, Stugotz on his show. I don't know Stugotz from Stu-pid-asshole. But this guy says he has a different take on the Donald Sterling issue. So he then proceeds to say that all Jewish women are crazy.

How the hell is this different from any of the other racist, anti-semitic, misogynistic comments that people make? You see, the problem here is that when you paint with a broad brush, you are, by definition, being a bigot.

All soccer players are wusses. All football players are dumb jocks. All cheerleaders are easy. All sports talk hosts are failures at sports. All tv people are stuck up. All side kicks on radio shows are idiots. None of these are true. But you can make those statements - and sound like a douchebag.

But, worse than that, you can do it with race, religion, national origin and sexual orientation. "All blacks are dumb." NO! They aren't. But you could say it. "All Jews are cheap." Really? "All mormons are cultists." Sure, if you are an idiot. "All gays are pushing the 'gay agenda.'" (What the fuck is a gay agenda?) Every single one of them? All Africans are unsophisticated. Not true.  All Americans are lazy. Except the person saying it, of course.

Look, Dan Le Batard should know better. Stugotz, who claims to be Jewish, really should know better. I don't care if you are a Jewish guy and talking about Jewish people. If you use your national platform to talk negatively about a group, any group, even a group to which you belong, you should be canned. You are only encouraging those morons who believe what you said. So, now the anti-semitic folks are going to say "See, all Jews are crazy. Some Jewish dude said it on ESPN Radio." You have used your platform not for good, but for evil. You are a moron.

When are we going to stop?

Idiots

So today on Facebook, my status was:

Dear Lawyers:

1. I don't care where the hell you went to college.
2. I don't care where the hell you went to law school.
3. I don't care how old you were when you graduated college.
4. I don't care how old you were when you gradated law school.
5. You do NOT have a doctorate. You are not a doctor. Never have been. Never will be.
6. If you are so pompous that you think I need to know 1 through 4 or you plaster your website with 5, you and I will have a problem.

Why would this be my status? Because I was in a bad mood. Let me give you my rules for dealing with people:

A. I don't trust you if you go by your middle name. You are starting out our relationship, be it personal or professional, by hiding something. Primarily, you are hiding your first name. I don't know why you are hiding it. I don't care why you are hiding it. I just know that you are hiding it. Remember that dumb saying that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression? Well, that is true when you go by your middle name. Its like giving me the middle finger! 

B. If you have to tell me how smart you are, then you are not that smart. I told this story to someone today. I didn't know that my dad had his PhD until I was 12. I didn't have a clue as to how smart he was until I was 15 or 16. I didn't really know how smart he was until I was in my 20s. Why? Because he never had to prove to anyone how smart he was. He was just smart. If you think you have to prove to me that you are smart, then you aren't really that smart. Easy enough?

C. If you have to tell me how old you were when you made some major life accomplishment, you are a douchebag. I don't care if you were 10 when you graduated high school. I don't care if you were Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I don't care if Doogie Howser was based on you. Not only do I not care, no one else cares. If you think you need to tell people, then you are a douchebag. Plain and simple. Hence, "Dear Douchebag: We don't care how old you were when you were potty trained. Sincerely, Civilization."

D. If you tell me how old you were when you graduated from college, you have a small dick. Seriously. Yes, I said it. No one cares. That would be the worst pick up line ever. "Hey baby, I graduated college at 15. Wanna have sex?" Worst. Ever. Seriously. It doesn't matter if you were 15, 25, 35, or 95. No one cares. I have to think about how old I was when I graduated college. And law school. Why? Because I don't care how old I was. Life isn't about what you do at a certain age. It is about what you do to make the world a better place.

E. If you have a law degree, you are not a doctor. End of story. Don't even argue it. I am not Dr. Jones. You are an attorney. You are a lawyer. You are a person. You are not a doctor. Don't refer to yourself that way. If you must refer to yourself that way, then you need to call your local plastic surgeon because someone pulled a Lorena Bobbitt on you. (Look it  up, youngsters!) Seriously. We are not doctors. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 

F. If you have fallen into more than one of these categories, you need a life. Not a "are you breathing?" life, but a real, honest to goodness, fucking life. Get out of the house. Make some friends. Stop driving your Bentley or your Rolls or your whatever. Go out to dinner with some friends. Join Match.com. Get laid. Do something with your life. Because you clearly think the world revolves around you. It does not. Trust me. It never has. It never will. 

Look, this is simple. Just be a decent person. Fuck up once in a while. It is okay. But don't brag about yourself. Don't think anyone else cares. Don't try to be a superhero. Just be yourself. And if you look in the mirror and you can't be yourself, then realize you are an idiot. People see through fake. Sure, it may work for a year or 10 years, but at the end of this, you end up as a loser. 

Am I clear? 

Dear Starbucks........

Dear Starbucks:

You are kidding, right? Today was just a bad dream. It was a nightmare, right? I didn't have the experience I just had, right? Tell me it wasn't so.

You see, some people tell me I am a bit rigid. I have my routines. One of my routines is waking up on a Sunday morning, taking the kids to Noahs and then stopping at Starbucks at 19th and J Street in downtown Sacramento. They know me. They know my drinks. They are friendly. There is a group of regulars. We talk. We eat. We laugh. We watch the people walking on the sidewalks.

This morning, I get up. I start my drive downtown. I get to J St. There is some race. Maybe its a half marathon. Maybe its a 5k. I don't know what it is. People are dressed in green and running. So the streets are closed. I tried three times to get around the race, but wherever I turned there were little green people running. Fine. I give up. The green people win.

But wait...........just when I start to lose hope, I remember. There is a Starbucks at 15th and Broadway. I can sing one of my favorite songs...........It starts like this "Me and Kid Sensation and that home away from home/In the Black Benz Limo, with the cellular phone....." Hey, its a Starbucks. There are three that I go to that are simply spectacular (not just used to describe one of Jerry's girlfriends). The rest are good. Its a chain. I have certain expectations. Yeah, about those expectations..........

So we walk in to this Starbucks. It turns out it is store 5963. I didn't know that at the time.......Anyway, I walk in. There are two kids in front of us in line. The nice girl takes my order. It isn't rocket science. An organic vanilla milk box. Two kids cocoas. A plain bagel. A pumpkin loaf. A coffee cake. An egg and cheese sandwich. A venti iced mocha, decaf, non fat, no whip. It is not rocket science people.

So we get the milk. Heck, we took the box of milk. Its in the cooler. Easy. Done. We get the pumpkin loaf. Bam. Two for two. Then it appears that those little green people must have invaded Starbucks. Because it was all downhill from there.

Two cocoas come out a few minutes later. Fine. It took a bit long and it shouldn't be rocket science. Then we get my coffee. Okay, so we are 5 for 5. The wait is a bit much for a store that isn't busy. But I can deal with it so far. Then there is a bagel. It is the wrong bagel, but fine. 5 for 6 is a B, I guess. Sadly, it went from 5 for 6 to 5 for 8. Why?

That coffee cake? Yeah, it didn't come. Apparently, it is hard to take the coffee cake out of the case and put it in a bag. The egg and cheese sandwich? I think they were waiting for the hens to lay the eggs. I ask the barista who is closest to me if he can check into it. He tells me that the food is backed up so it should be another minute. Maybe another hour was what he meant.

A few more minutes. Still no food, but we got the bagel. So I get back in line with my 10 year old. A woman asks if we need anything. I explain I need the sandwich and the coffee cake. She will get right on it. Good. What can it take? 2 minutes? Maybe 3? WRONG!

I go back up and ask to speak to a manager. I thought this was going to be a good thing. WRONG! I guess I was 0 for 2. The manager is the woman who told me that she would get right on the food. I still think she is waiting for the cheese to separate from the curd. A male employee, I think his name was Michael, is also there. Apparently, he wanted to show the manager he was an alpha male. Yeah, newsflash dude: you aren't.

Now, from what I know about business, if a customer wants to speak to a manager, a manager comes to the customer. There should not be a gap of 10 feet between the manager and the customer. (Okay, exception if there is a threat of violence.) This manager apparently has a 10 foot personal space need since that is the closest she got to me.

I need her to hear me. I need her to understand how frustrated I am. So I ask where the food is. She told me it was in line. WHOA! My food should have been cooked well before now. She says she thought I wanted the coffee cake heated up. WHAT? Hot coffee cake? That sounds as good as hot ice cream. No thanks. At this point Michael decides he is smarter than me. He tells me not to yell. Mind you, if you have ever heard me yell, you know that Michael wouldn't have been able to tell me not to yell as his ear drums would have been ruptured. When I yell, restaurants stop. Just ask anyone who has been on the receiving end of that.

I tell him I am not yelling. He gets in my face. Now, at this point, I thought the manager would step forward and tell him to go take a break. WRONG! Yes, I am 0 for 3. She doesn't. I continue to express my frustration. He continues to tell me to calm down. Yeah, calm? On a Sunday morning? I am calm. Dufus then tells me that its just Sunday morning. Great, its Sunday morning. And I have things to do. I then ask the manager if all of her employees talk to customers this way. No response.

They ended up refunding me for the milk, the bagel, the coffee cake (that I never got!), the cocoa and the pumpkin loaf. My coffee and my egg sandwich, that I never got, were not refunded to me.

So, lets see: I had to pay about $8.00 to get service so bad it makes the Embassy Suites Anaheim South look good. (read: http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g32420-d224310-r152254596-Embassy_Suites_Anaheim_South-Garden_Grove_California.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT) Yes, it cost me money to get service this bad.

I am going to write to Starbucks. I hope they do something. If I ran a business and found out one of my stores treated someone this badly, I would be embarrassed. I admit it - I am a Starbucks junkie. I have had a gold card for years. I know several managers. All are great people. But this - this was a freaking nightmare.

A week from hell

I am in a bad mood. It has been a week. A very, very long week. Where do I start? Wait, I know, people have it worse than me. Sick kids. Dying parents. I get it. So this is not a "oh pity me" post. I am fortunate enough to have this blog to vent. So now I vent.

Lets see............dear douchebags who stole my credit cards - twice: you suck. Really? Is it that cool to spend someone else's money? Do you think it is a good idea to use my credit card? Sure, I don't know who you are. But I am pretty sure you are not a short, white, bald dude. And I am pretty sure I bust my ass harder than you bust yours. So you are stealing. Just so we are clear. It is theft. You are a thief. You are a no good piece of crap. I hope you end up living under a gutter.

Okay, the rest of it isn't that bad. At least, I don't think. A flat tire. New tires on the car. People who don't listen..........oh, and debt collectors.

I did get some good lines in.

Lets see. If you are a debt collector and you are attempting to collect a debt from overseas, do not be surprised when I tell you that my left testicle is smarter than you. Yes, when you tell me that the law does not apply to you and that you will do whatever you want to do, I may explain to you how my left testicle is smarter than you. What? You don't like that. Well, guess what? I don't like douchebags. I guess we are even.

But, that wasn't even the best. There is a debt collector who shall remain nameless (FS Mediation aka FS Legal or FS Law). These folks are in NY or OH or Toronto. Or some other Gawd-awful place. They are some of the most idiotic people you have met. Seriously. Find the dumbest dude you know. Then think that he is 10 times smarter than these folks.

So, yesterday, this Patty Callahan dude told my client he was the President. Then he told me he was a paralegal to some 90 year old attorney who practices family law. I asked for his address. He didn't know it. Yes, dude told me that he doesn't know his address. I may have told him that he is an idiot. May have. Not sure.

Today, I spoke with some other guy who told me he couldn't give me a fax number. I asked him "Does your mom know you are a scam artist? Is she proud of you for being a scam artist?" For some reason, he didn't find that funny. But dude is running a scam. No fax? No email? No address? Yes, we call that a scam. And he was offended. Can you believe that?

You want offensive? This is offensive: you take advantage of the elderly, single moms, women, people with disabilities. At some point, I will track you down. I will find you. I always do. Until then, please understand that my left big toe is smarter than you. And if you think I am wrong, you can kiss my white ass.

Idiots

People are idiots. Just simply fucking idiots. I don't get it. But they are.

I live in Elk Grove. Its a nice town. We have 160,000 people or so. We have some really nice places. We have some farmland. We have residential tracts. We have businesses. We have a lot. We also have some problems.

But let's be clear about something: Elk Grove is not a dump. It is not a zombie town. It is not a hole. It is not a lot of things.

If you don't like Elk Grove (and please feel free to insert the name of your town here since I am sure this applies to a lot of places), then you have three options:

1. Leave. Seriously. Pick your crap up and move. If you need help, call. I will help you. I will pack your shmatas (as my mom would have said) and drop them off in whatever hole you want to go live in. Maybe you want to move to Compton. Maybe you want to move to San Francisco. Maybe you want to just move to the middle of the Pacific Ocean. You can leave.

2. You can shut the fuck up. Yes, STFU as the kids would say. Shut up. If you don't like it, you can just mind your own fucking business and shut your fat mouth. There. Done. Problem solved. Then people like me don't have to listen to people like you. Ever. Again. That would make it so much nicer!

3. You can do something about it and try to make Elk Grove (or whatever town) a better place. Get out and volunteer. Join a neighborhood watch. Help out local kids. Do something, anything, to make your town a better place. If that is too much for you to do, then read 1 and 2 - leave or shut the fuck up. It is that simple.

You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution. If you want to be part of the problem, then leave. That is one less problem for me. It is one less whiner. It is one less jackass who apparently can't get the fuck out of bed to make the world a better place.

So are you an idiot or are you a difference maker?