More MJ

No, not Mitch Jackson or Micha Jarmel and not Michael Jordan. This is Michael Jackson. Since my last post has generated so much interest on my Facebook page and a few comments that were unpublishable, I thought I would share with you my top 5 Michael Jackson moments. And before you go off on me for taking shots at a dead guy, I would make these comments if dude was alive and his doctor hadn't doped him up - allegedly.

5. The Hair - remember the filming of the Pepsi commercial when his hair caught fire? His hair actually caught fire. Apparently there was so much product, ie junk, in his hair that it burned like a bonfire. Very nice.

4. The ghost - I remember in the 80s videos Michael had a darker complexion than me. Last picture I saw I thought I was looking at Casper. I know, some bizarre skin condition that could never be confirmed by a medical doctor. Or bleaching. Either way, good fodder for the blogger.

3. Macaluey Culkin - Culkin was a cute kid in Home Alone. Then Jacko spent a night in bed with Culkin. Culkin has been Clunkin along ever since. Oh, and he did wonders for Corey Feldman's career as well. Him and the wife who better stay cute since she aint the sharpest tool in the shed!

2. Eat it - Need I say more? Well, for those of you who do not follow the greatest parody singer of all time, I present for you the chorus:

Just eat it, eat it , eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter , it's broiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, ooh

If you don't think this is funny, try the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyfcOriVKBM If you still don't think this is funny, stop reading my blog. Now. Seriously. Give it up. Click the little "x" to close the box. Please.

1. Chiller - This is a little known parody of Thriller. You all remember the Thriller video? I stayed up past my bedtime to watch the world premiere with my family. We all gathered around the tv and put on MTV, which back then stood for music, something they don't have anymore on that station, and were awed by it. Well, here are the lyrics for Chiller:

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the suit
At the Blue Oyster, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You leave the bar with the skinny dude who bought you drinks,
You strip to your skivvies as horror strikes you right between the guys,
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is chiller, chiller night
And you are going to end up in the freezer,
You know it's chiller, chiller night
Jeffrey Dahmer's going to turn you into frozen yogurt.


If you look, you can find it on the internet.


Look, folks, some of you are taking this way too seriously. It is a blog. It is fun. It is where I can write pretty much anything I want that isn't defamatory. And I will and I do. Do not confuse this with journalism, news, reporting or anything other than the thoughts of some guy usually at the end of a long day.

Pretend I am a poor man's John Stewart. Just not as funny. Nor as rich. Nor as popular. Hell, I don't have anything he has, except we are both named after the toilet. Dang it, Stewart, you are killing me again. Just once can't I be the cool John?

If you are going to take it much more seriously than that, you should go read War & Peace or anything by J. Maarten Troost, a funny travel writer. Really. I promise. Getting Stoned with the Savages is a good read.

PS By the way, I don't care how much tax revenue LA gets when the STATE SPENT THE MONEY. The state isn't collecting that money. And the loons who traveled to LA to go to a funeral of some dude they never met would have traveled even if the King of Nut, er, Pop, would have paid the $4,000,000 bill. So stop arguing about it.

PPS Just because dude wasn't convicted in a court of law does not mean he didn't do something wrong. Exhibit A: Bonds, Barry Bonds. He may never be convicted of anything but dude roided up - big time. Exhibit B: Capone, Al Capone. Dude wasn't convicted of being a mobster, but he was! Exhibit C: Simpson, Orenthal. Sure, dude didn't kill anyone. And I played in the NFL. The Juice should have stuck to the Naked Gun movies.

PPPS I think I just came up with my 6th favorite moment - he married the King's daughter. The King of Pop married the Princess. If they had kids, would they have been the Duke and Duchess? And they both acted like it was real. Sheesh.