So I was going to write something serious and rip on some people. You know, those people who come around and have their PR guys take pictures with you when they need something, but 2 weeks later they can't pick you out from Adam. Or the guys who need you when you have a skill, but the minute you ask for something back, suddenly their email stops working. Or how about the people who hit you up for a donation all the time, but won't donate to you? Or............well, nevermind...........all of those are for another time.

Tonight, I proudly present...............nothing. I got nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. So there has to be something I can make fun of, right? Maybe............

Here is now my rendition of professional athletes who find out that they have to get a real job. Oh, and real jobs are not on tv. (Sorry tv folks, but if you make your living in front of a camera with makeup on, you do not have a real job.)

LBJ: Yo man, ever since I choked in 7 NBA finals in a row, I can't pay the bills.
MWP: You think that's tough? Ever since I threw that elbow at James Harden, I have been called Metta World Pieceofcrap. That's not fair.
JV: You two think you have it bad? The commissioner told everyone that I participated in that bounty program. Once I got suspended, I went from middle linebacker to left out.
SS: Yo bla blo he ho me mi mo.
MWP: What the f___ did you say, Sammy?
SS: Yo bla blo he ho me no English good.
LBJ: He sounds like Patrick Ewing now. No,  maybe he sounds like Spreewell.
JV: I don't know about you two, but my agent told me to get a real job. What the hell is a real job?
MWP: I have been working as a sign holder at a freeway construction site. You know those guys work 8 hours a day? 8 WHOLE hours! What do I look like, a masochist?
LBJ: You think that's bad? I had to cut down trees. Those guys go up IN THE TREES, then cut them down. You want me to go up and down? And the worst part: I couldn't take off the last quarter of the day. They made me work ALL day.
SS: Yo me blo no bla mi mo hi ho gi go.
JV: Shut up Sammy. Your English is worse than Shawn Kemp's 12th kid who had to get by on $12,000 per month.
LBJ: Dude, I don't know what I am going to do. We work like 100 days a year. These fools work like 250 days. You want me to work four times as much.
JV: Wouldn't that be twice as much?
LBJ: I don't know. I didn't go to college. I had to go to the NBA and make my money while my baby mama stayed at home.
MWP: I think its five times as much. But don't quote me. I was not a math major. I went to beauty school.
JV: You went to beauty school?
MWP: Well, my grades in high school weren't quite at the level to get me into a great school like DeVry or ITT Tech.
SS: ITT Tech my school
LBJ: You went to ITT tech?
SS: No english good
JV: Anyway, I got to get back to my job at the bakery. I have to work and its hot. And no one comes to towel me off or bring me Gatorade. That aint fair.
LBJ: Yeah, I have to get back to the meadow or whatever they call it. There are like 100 trees in that place.
MWP: 100 trees or 100 acres?
LBJ: How the hell should I know? I thought I was going to win 7 NBA titles. You want me to know how many trees there are?
SS: Cork steroids I do good. No job now. Suckers
MWP: I want to go open a can of whup-ass on that guy.
JV: I thought you were World Peace?
MWP: Oh yeah. I am. But this job thing sucks. It makes me all dumb.
ME: It doesnt make you dumb. You are all dumbasses. Welcome to the real world. Stop your whining and bitchin. Sheesh.

Okay, not my best work, but better than listening to me rant, isnt it?