Shut the fuck up

I was going to apologize in advance for the profanity, but someone told me recently that I don't curse (that is the proper word, not cuss) in person, but I do here. Sometimes, I do. I admit it. This post will have some profanity. If you don't like it, you will know what to do by the end of this post.

Be a fucking man. Stand up and say something. I am so tried of these pieces of crap who want to say bad crap and hide behind the Internet or post it behind someone's back. Is it that hard to man (or woman) up and say something to my face? Are you that fucking scared of me? Do you think I am going to hit you or beat the tar out of you? I promise I won't.

Look, not everyone likes me. I get it. I dont want everyone to like me. I dont need everyone to like me. My wife likes me. My kids like me - sometimes. My parents liked me, when they were alive. Okay, so my dad more than my mom. My friends (all 6 of them) like me. That works for me. If the rest of the world doesnt like me, then that is their loss. Because you know what? I may be short, hairless and a fuck up, but try to find someone more willing to go to bat for you, to stand up for you, or to help you out. Seriously, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but my friends know that they can pick up the phone and call me if they need anything - even at 12 in the morning.

So, some piece of crap carpenters dream (flat as a board and easy to screw) wants to talk smack about me? At least have the common courtesy to do it to my face. Is that really asking for too much? Would it be that hard to cc me on your email? Would it be that hard to pick up the stupid phone and call me? "Hey Jon, I think you are a piece of shit. I am going to tell Billy Smith." Fine. Be my guest. Its your opinion. You can say anything you want about me. But at least say it to me first.

Its not that hard. Hell, you can find me on Facebook, twitter, email, phone, anything. Are you that much of a mouse that you can't do it to my face? Really?

Look, I am not perfect. There, I said it. I have made plenty of mistakes in 38 years. I can think of mistakes I made in 2nd grade, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, well you get the fucking point. I have made mistakes every year I have been alive. I know it. Some are not that bad. Some are pretty bad. Some suck. Some are just funny now. I am not sorry I made mistakes. It happens. Its called being human. I own my mistakes. I make them, I take the consequence, and I learn from them. I think that is called living.

So, you think I screwed up? Big fucking deal. You want to tell other people? Its a free country. Tell anyone you want. But could you at least have the balls to say something to me first? Is it really asking too much. Oh, and if you are going to run your piehole about me, could you at least make sure its related to something else and you tell the whole story?

Look, one time, at band camp...........okay, fine there was no band camp. One time at summer camp, I made out with a girl. I did. I shouldnt have because I didnt really like her and I did it as a dare. I admit it. I screwed up. (This is a true story.) It was a mistake. But she didnt want to either. Turns out she was doing it as a dare too. That, my friends, is what Paul Harvey would call the rest of the story. Its kind of important to know.

So Mr. Chen or Mrs. Chen or Shim Chen, fuck you and fuck your high horse that you rode in on. If you don't like me, keep it to yourself. If you think I am  a screw up, most people don't care about your opinion. If you have something to say to me, pick up that damn phone in your piece of crap fancy office that no one wants to see and dial my fucking phone. It will ring. I promise you. I will answer it. You can say whatever the hell you want to say about me. I dont care. I will let you say your peace. Then I get my turn to say mine. Deal?

If its not a deal, then shut the fuck up. No one wants to hear from a whiner who doesnt have the cojones to stand up and say it to someones face. I promise you that.

Have I made myself clear? Let me recap: I have made mistakes. I am not proud of them, but I assure you I have learned from every mistake I have made. I am not perfect. If you have a problem with something I have done, then tell me, dont go crying to the rest of the world. They have bigger problems than your whininess. I don't regret my mistakes. I learn from my mistakes. I am a better person today, May 14, 2012 then I was on May 13, 2012 and on May 12, 2012 and every day before that because I learn from my mistakes.

Now, go fuck off you loser. Get a fucking life and learn to be an adult. Am I clear?