On making decisions

Let me tell you a little story. I was in high school and would wake up every morning. I would have breakfast while my dad would watch CNBC. He would be working and I would be reading the sports page. And, about once a week, he would tell at the idiots on the tv that they had no idea what they were talking about. At first, it was humorous. But, after a while, I decided I would ask him why he thought these "analysts" were idiots. It went something like this: these guys graduate college, get a job for a few years, apply to business school and get an MBA. Now they think they know what it takes to run a business. They dont. Yet their "pronouncements" can make stock prices go up and down, can affect people's jobs, and can make it harder for the people who actually run the companies. My dad knew of what he spoke. It was a great story. It made a good point: its easy to sit in your office and criticize the people who are actually doing the work.

So that leads me to this: why do people think its acceptable to sit around and tell other people what they are doing wrong? Its easy to sit in your office, review someone's records and make pronouncements. Its not easy to actually do. And its a problem.

Look, you think you can live my life better than I can? Come and try it. Seriously. Come try it. I sure as hell know I can't live your life better than you do. That goes for everyone from friends who work at other law firms (all 2 of you) to the homeless guy I helped. I sure as hell can't be homeless. I know that. I would suck at it. I also don't play well with others. Thats why I work alone. I know that. Its a character flaw. Its my character flaw. And there is no way I would try to work in an office again. It just isn't me.

So don't sit back in your office and tell me that I can't handle something. Don't tell me that I didn't do something right. I assure you I do my best. I try. That's all I can say. But to sit there and criticize others when you don't know what the hell you are talking about is just wrong.

Whats the expression about walking a mile in my shoes? How about just half a mile? I don't get it. Look, write the facts. Don't make crap up to fit your ideas. I don't know what the hell I am doing as a father or a husband. I dont know what I am doing. I am learning. Am I supposed to rely on some expert to tell me? Really?

Dear Mr. Expert: Fuck you. I am glad you have a PhD or an MD or a FullofcrapD. That just means you went to school for a long time. It doesnt mean you know anything about my life. I appreciate that you wrote a book or read a book or once saw a book. I am glad for you. But how do you know what I can or cannot do or what I have or have not done? Did you pick up the phone and call me? No. Did you sit down and talk with me? No.

I am so tired of people judging. You know what? I am sure of very little in life. I dont know why. Its another character flaw, I guess. But I am sure of this: I try to be the best husband I know how to be. My wife tries to be the best wife she knows how to be. We try to be the best parents we know how to be. Not once have we said we can't manage it. Not once have we asked you for your opinion of how we are doing. Why? Because we are doing the best that we can fucking do. And if that isnt good enough for you then kiss my ass.

Is it hard? Yep. Does it suck sometimes? Yep. Have we laid in bed at night and questioned decisions we have made? Absolutely. Have we had a pity party once or twice? Probably. So what?

That doesnt mean we arent up to it. It just means we are human. We are people. We are trying to do the best we can do and we do it together.

So, please, stop sitting around and judging us. (This goes for you to Ms. Kindergarten Teacher who told us we were bad parents.) Stop telling us what we cant do. Just stop. We will make the decisions that we think are best when we think they are best based on what we know. We may make wrong decisions now and then. We may not be batting 1.000. But we are batting and that is all that matters.