Butterfly kisses

This is probably pretty good listening music during this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHcqaDNOqyI

I have to write this tonight while I think about it. Its been an odd week. We know two people who passed away. I was thinking about it. Trying to put it into perspective. One was 40ish. One was in her 60s. What to say? What to do? "I am sorry for your loss" seems so trite. I know. I have had to listen to people tell me that. I appreciate the expression, but it doesn't make it better.

Then I was going to write about how you need to enjoy life. Life is short. You never know when it may end. You know the cliches. There are a ton of movies about it, songs about it. I try not to write those types of things.

So tonight was the father daughter dance at the Sacramento Children's Museum. Fine, its called something else, but its a father daughter dance. It is 2 hours of my life when time stood still.

We went last year. It was their first one. My baby was 2. Dinner at IHOP followed by playing at the museum. She loved it.

This year, she was a year older, a year wiser, a year sweeter. Dinner at IHOP was followed by playing at the museum. But it was different. It was sweeter. It was more sentimental.

She shared. She took turns. She expressed herself. When someone tried to take the baby she was playing with, she stood up for herself. She was such a little person.

About an hour in, maybe a bit longer, they played that song. (If you haven't clicked the link yet, you probably should now.) I held her. I danced with her in my arms. I listened to the words. "Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right/To deserve a hug every morning And butterfly kisses at night." For the first time in over 2 years, I had tears in my eyes in public. 


She wasn't looking. But she knew. She turned towards me and, with that small, soft, sweet hand, she wiped them away. Just one little hand wiping my eyes. She smiled at me. She knew exactly what to do.


The next song came on. She stood on my feet and danced with me. She stopped about half way through the song and looked up at me. She smiled the smile of my little angel. It was the sweetest smile I have ever seen. For those few seconds, there is no one else around and my baby reminded me how amazing she is.


You see, for 2 hours tonight, I didn't have a problem in the world. I didn't have to deal with anything that was wrong. Because for 2 hours, to this little person, her world was me. Its a feeling I have never had before. 


And for 6 minutes, during that 2 hours, my baby reminded me that not only did I not have a problem in the world, but that the world was a perfect place. There was nothing bad. There was nothing wrong. She reminded me I am at the place I am supposed to be at. She was never supposed to be. It just wasn't possible. But she is. I know. I saw her. I held her. I kissed her. And she reminded me. 


So those cliches are right. Life is too short. You need to enjoy every minute. You never know when your time is up. But, more importantly, you have to remember to enjoy those minutes. You have to find a way, somehow, someway, to forget the bad and focus on the good. You need to find a way to do those things you said "I will do next year" and do them now, when you can, because next year is not guaranteed.


Thank you Brooklyn, for reminding me, for showing me, for being my angel tonight.