Two minutes for me

What the fuck is wrong with people today? Is Mercury in retrograde? (I have no idea what it means. Someone who I know and like actually made that comment to me one day and I still haven't looked it up to figure out what the fuck it means. If you know, please tell me.)

Lets see. I just got a voice mail message from a guy who stated "Steven Smith, 415-555-1212." That was the entire fucking message. What does that mean? I assume that is your name and number, but so what? Are you looking for a prostitute? Do you need a lawyer? Are you looking for Jenny? How the fuck I am supposed to know what you want and whether you even called the right place?

This, of course, followed a woman who couldn't slow down enough for me to understand her. Look, I like John Moschitta (Google him or look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeK5ZjtpO-M) as much as the next guy, if not more. I think hes pretty funny. But when you want me to tell you if you have a case, if you can't slow down enough for me to understand you, then my answer is no. I have no idea if she has been sued, was hurt, or has been arrested. Look, that takes some special talent. Slow down and explain yourself to me. Its not that hard - is it?

This is followed by the douchebag idiot dweeb who continues to jerk with me on a case. I think he finds it funny. I think the court doesnt find it funny. I think his clients will find it even less funny when I am done with the trial. I dont really think the law was created for pantywaste guys like this to do things that they think are cool. Its not cool. No one likes you. And your reputation is so bad that Joe Francis looks like a freaking saint compared to you. (Google him too.)

I dont know what the fuck is wrong with people today. I am going to get my work done, spend time with my family, drink a root beer or six, and tell them all to go jump in a fucking lake.

Thanks!