I am an expert too

I don't know about the rest of you, but everyone is an expert these days. Not just in what they do, but in everything. Everyone knows everything about everything, even things that are impossible to know anything about.

Think about it..........better yet, go on Facebook or Twitter or just google some dumb term like "expert." There are 626,000,000 hits on being an expert. Seriously? There aren't that many things to be an expert on.

Look, I get a lot of people are smart. Heck, a lot of people are smarter than me. But do I really have to listen to one more "social media expert" or one more "marketing expert" or one more "speech expert" tell me how to do something? Seriously.

How do you become a social media expert? I am all over that job. Wait, that sounds like too much work. You know what I want to be an expert in? Being an expert. Yes, there it is. Its like a grand slam in expertness. I am going to be an expert on how to be an expert.

From this day forth, I shall write about how to be an expert, post on Facebook all of my brilliant thoughts about being an expert, post pictures to Instagram or whatever it is called about experts, type 140 characters, and not a character more, about my expertise in experts. If you call me, I shall answer the phone "Good morning, expert experts. How may we expertly help you become an expert?" I shall videoconference, vlog (is that even a word, really?), hold pep rallies and generally go on and on about how I know more than you.

I have determined that none of you can possibly know as much about experts as I. I am the king of experts. If I were a country, I would be Expertstan. If I were a city, I would be Expertville. If I were a..........well, if I actually knew anything, I wouldn't be doing this.

You see, I am tired of people constantly telling me how to market, how to use social media, how to talk. (Yes, seriously.) I think I know how to market. I think I know how to use social media. I sure as heck know that I know how to speak. Could we all stop pretending that we are experts on everything and go back to being people?