So this was going to be something different tonight, but then it changed..............that is the nature of my writing. There is no rhyme or reason. It turns out to be something different than I expect every time I write.
I was driving home from getting gas and this song came on the radio. You see, I have been listening a lot to SiriusXM's Love station. Don't ask why. I don't know why. But I have been.
Wait, I do know why. As I emerge from the dark place I was in, I come to light. What is light personified if not love? Right? We think of bad things as dark places and when we go to the light, we go to love. We go to what makes us happy.
So, this song came on, and it was talking about being bent, not broken. That was us. We were bent. We sure as heck weren't broken. I mean, how much does a couple have to put up with before you break? Where is that breaking point?
She met me when I was 14 and a complete loser. I admit it. I thought I was cool. Turns out, I wasn't cool. I didn't know what cool meant. I was shy, spoke funny, and wasn't the world's most outgoing guy.
She started dating me at 16. My nickname was Gobstopper. This girl went out with a dude whose nickname at the time was Gobstopper. Who would do that other than an angel? We did prom, then homecoming, then prom again. Somehow, during this time, she made me fall in love with her. She brought me out of my shell, made me less awkward, watched me grow. Heck, she didn't watch me grow, she was the sunlight, air and water - I was full of enough fertilizer.
She helped me make it through college. She was my motivation to succeed when I had to put a ring on her finger. After all, if she would put up with me when I was in high school, I knew I had a catch. She continued to be my motivation.
She has been my rock the last 4 years. I don't know how she does it. She makes me laugh when I want to cry. She makes me smile when I want to frown. She makes my heart skip a beat when she smiles at me.
So yes, we were bent. We sure weren't broken. She kept us strong, kept us together. And for that, I shall be forever grateful to my wife, the strongest woman I know, the most amazing person I have met, and my love.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
I am an expert too
I don't know about the rest of you, but everyone is an expert these days. Not just in what they do, but in everything. Everyone knows everything about everything, even things that are impossible to know anything about.
Think about it..........better yet, go on Facebook or Twitter or just google some dumb term like "expert." There are 626,000,000 hits on being an expert. Seriously? There aren't that many things to be an expert on.
Look, I get a lot of people are smart. Heck, a lot of people are smarter than me. But do I really have to listen to one more "social media expert" or one more "marketing expert" or one more "speech expert" tell me how to do something? Seriously.
How do you become a social media expert? I am all over that job. Wait, that sounds like too much work. You know what I want to be an expert in? Being an expert. Yes, there it is. Its like a grand slam in expertness. I am going to be an expert on how to be an expert.
From this day forth, I shall write about how to be an expert, post on Facebook all of my brilliant thoughts about being an expert, post pictures to Instagram or whatever it is called about experts, type 140 characters, and not a character more, about my expertise in experts. If you call me, I shall answer the phone "Good morning, expert experts. How may we expertly help you become an expert?" I shall videoconference, vlog (is that even a word, really?), hold pep rallies and generally go on and on about how I know more than you.
I have determined that none of you can possibly know as much about experts as I. I am the king of experts. If I were a country, I would be Expertstan. If I were a city, I would be Expertville. If I were a..........well, if I actually knew anything, I wouldn't be doing this.
You see, I am tired of people constantly telling me how to market, how to use social media, how to talk. (Yes, seriously.) I think I know how to market. I think I know how to use social media. I sure as heck know that I know how to speak. Could we all stop pretending that we are experts on everything and go back to being people?
Think about it..........better yet, go on Facebook or Twitter or just google some dumb term like "expert." There are 626,000,000 hits on being an expert. Seriously? There aren't that many things to be an expert on.
Look, I get a lot of people are smart. Heck, a lot of people are smarter than me. But do I really have to listen to one more "social media expert" or one more "marketing expert" or one more "speech expert" tell me how to do something? Seriously.
How do you become a social media expert? I am all over that job. Wait, that sounds like too much work. You know what I want to be an expert in? Being an expert. Yes, there it is. Its like a grand slam in expertness. I am going to be an expert on how to be an expert.
From this day forth, I shall write about how to be an expert, post on Facebook all of my brilliant thoughts about being an expert, post pictures to Instagram or whatever it is called about experts, type 140 characters, and not a character more, about my expertise in experts. If you call me, I shall answer the phone "Good morning, expert experts. How may we expertly help you become an expert?" I shall videoconference, vlog (is that even a word, really?), hold pep rallies and generally go on and on about how I know more than you.
I have determined that none of you can possibly know as much about experts as I. I am the king of experts. If I were a country, I would be Expertstan. If I were a city, I would be Expertville. If I were a..........well, if I actually knew anything, I wouldn't be doing this.
You see, I am tired of people constantly telling me how to market, how to use social media, how to talk. (Yes, seriously.) I think I know how to market. I think I know how to use social media. I sure as heck know that I know how to speak. Could we all stop pretending that we are experts on everything and go back to being people?
Monday, April 22, 2013
Thanks
I don't really know your name. Wait, I don't know your name at all. And, in fact, its not one person. Its a group of people, people who are anonymous to me, people who I have met, but whose names I did not learn. I admit it - I am bad with names. (I tell everyone who shows up at Sunday Soccer that I won't learn their name until they have been out 6 times.) Anyway, I want to say thank you.
December 2, 2008 I wrote my first post for this blog. I was not new to blogging. I was not new to getting things off my chest. This seemed like the perfect vehicle - I could blog and get things off my chest. What could be better?
Somewhere along the line, I slipped off track. (With apologies to Bruce Springsteen who wrote that line in "One Step up, Two Steps Back.") It went from a place where I could be pretty funny, a la Michael Phelps's fans against Kellogg to a dark place where I didn't rant, but cried. That is not funny. It wasn't funny then. It isn't funny now. A little history.............
I was 16 years old and I was a dork. Not the cool dork on Big Bang Theory. No, I was a bad student, who did just enough to get by in school, got into a few fights, and generally was the class clown. I enjoyed it. I met this girl. She was the prettiest girl in the school. She was smart. She was fun. And, for some reason that, 23 years later I cannot understand still, she wanted to go out with me. It was a surprise. It shocked me. But, who was I to say no to a date with a girl who was smart and pretty? I jumped on it!
We spent the next year and a half or so finishing high school, going on cheesy dates (yes, miniature golf and Dairy Queen was our first date), and slowly, at least for her, less so for me, we fell in love. I knew before I graduated high school that I loved this girl. And I told her so.
As for the rest of my life, I couldn't have told you what I was going to do, how, where, why or when. I did tell my dad and one of his friends, some big wig at Johnson & Johnson, that I would be a millionaire by 35. (Newsflash: I didn't make it.) But I didn't need to know what I wanted to do, or how or any of that stuff, because somehow it would work out. It always did for me. And how I could I not believe that would happen? I was dating the most amazing girl I had ever met. If that worked out, why wouldn't everything else work out? Besides, my dad always told me I didn't need to know what I wanted to do when I was in high school.
We went to college. I was actually told by my guidance counselor not to bother applying - I couldn't get in to college. I applied anyway. I guess I don't like being told that I can't do things. I was accepted. I hated it. So I went home after a year and attended a junior college. Then, together, we decided to come to Sacramento. Once again, somehow, things worked out for me.
I decided when we came to Sacramento that I shouldn't push my luck - I called my mom and told her when we came home for Thanksgiving I wanted to go to the jewelry store and buy an engagement ring. She was supportive and helped me pick one out.
You see, things worked out. They always did. I didn't worry about it. But, today, as I sit here, I know why they worked out - the glass was always half full. Life didn't get me down. It happened. I tried my best and things worked out. I didn't worry about what other people said or did.
Anyway, back to the story. I interviewed for jobs during my senior year of college and took a job as an insurance adjuster. I turned down a great paying job at BofA as a computer programmer so I could "adjust claims," whatever that meant. After my training, I heard about this CPCU thing. I didn't know what it was, but I was told not to worry about it - I wasn't smart enough to earn it. There were 10 essays you had to write, get a recommendation from someone with a CPCU and have 3 years of experience in the industry. Just months after my 3 year anniversary, I earned my CPCU, which is still the hardest exams I have taken in my life.
I continued to work my way up the ladder. Jobs seemed to just fall into my lap. Then law school started. Heck, as a full time employee with a wife, taking 3 classes at night was not rocket science. I managed to find a way to get through that first year.
Early in the second year, we had a hiccup. We survived, even if I had to yell at some folks and lay into them pretty hard. We had a child, then two. Life was good. I graduated, took the bar exam, had surgery the very next day, and started my new job while I waited for bar results. Again, I couldn't complain too much.
Now, looking back, it is here when the bitterness began to creep in. You see, I wasn't spending my Friday nights at the beach, dreaming of going to college, marrying my dream girl, talking to my dad about what plans I had for my future. My future was here - and my dad wasn't. After my graduation, but before bar results came out, my dad died. We immediately went down for the funeral and my aunt, she who no longer speaks to me, said "This is a blessing." She went on and on about how now my mom wouldn't suffer taking care of my dad, who had Parkinson's Disease. I was 29 years old.
Bar results came and I passed, but so did my mom's dad, my Papa. My dad was the toughest man I ever knew, but my Papa was a close 2nd. This guy fought in the Gold Gloves boxing tournament back in the day - way back. Somehow, though, we managed to keep going. Two kids, a nice house, a good job.
One fateful day, about a year later, I started this little adventure of running my own law firm. On that same day, unbeknownst to us, our youngest son was born. So, the day I decide to start running a law firm is the same day our 3rd son was born. My wife, the brave soul that she is, convinced me, maybe us?, that we could handle this. So, we said yes to the son (not yes to the dress!) and two months later he came home.
I knew nothing about running a law firm and even less about practicing law. But I was pretty sure I could run a business. And I could sell sand to the folks living in the Sahara. So how hard could it be? We made it work........
My oldest son was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum shortly after that. More darkness crept in. I don't know how women deal with these things, but I know how men deal with them - we don't. Nope. I couldn't deal with it. I didn't deal with it. I faked it well.
My sister died. I found out after the funeral.
My son got worse. And worse. And, still worse.
But in there, somewhere, my little girl, against all odds, was conceived. She came into this world on 09/09/09. It had to be a miracle, right? It had to be a sign. But more darkness crept in.
In 2010, my blog posts got darker. My world was darker. 2011 saw my mom die at 71. Two parents gone before I turned 40. I was uninvited to her funeral. No one talked to me. How on earth does this happen?
I can probably point to a more specific cause, but does it matter? Really, in the grand scheme of things, does it matter why it happened? It happened. This isn't an expose into why men are lame, why we can't cope, or why we fall into a depression.What matters is that it happened.
I know some of the posts were funny. Some were still good. Some were really good. A lot were dark. Maybe the darkness, the sadness, didn't come through. But I can go back and read them, and I see it.
Lately, that has changed. I see not darkness, but light. I look at my wife and don't see the woman who is making it through this crap with me. No, that's not her. I see the girl I married. I see this young, vibrant face. I see a light in her eyes. I see the fun we had, the fun we have, and the fun we will have. I see that beautiful girl who listened to my dumb ideas when we walked on the sand, listened to the waves crash, and whose face shone in the moonlight.
You see, I realized something recently: I can bitch, moan and complain and feel sorry for myself OR I can do something good in the world. This had been making its way into my head for sometime. I felt more positive. I felt better. I felt like I was helping people. Fine, maybe the 86 year old woman kissing me after I settled her case helped.
But there was more to it. I went to Florin High School last week. I spoke to these high school kids. I thought it was going to be lame. It wasn't. (You can read it here: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2013/04/florin-high-school-law-fair.html) I thought it was going to be me talking to no one who cared. It wasn't.
I realized over the last week that life is pretty good. It isn't perfect. It sure as heck isn't what I planned. I didn't plan on being 39 years old with 4 kids who range from 3 to 13. I didn't plan on a severely special needs teenager. But, I sure as heck didn't plan on being Mr. Negativity. I didn't plan on being the guy who was depressed, saw everything in a bad light, who was unhappy.
What does this mean for my blog? I will still rant. I think I can do it and be funny. I am sure of it. I will still mock things that need to be mocked. I will not, however, go back to that dark place. I will make sure it is lighthearted. I will go back, as close as possible, to being the guy who walked on the beach at 16 without a care in the world, seeing the good in everything. Life is simply too short for a guy whose parents died at 62 and 71. Life is too short for a guy who has 4 kids and a wife to protect.
So, there you have. Thank you to you and you and you. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for letting me see me again. Thank you for reminding me that life is too short for me to deal with nonsense, to deal with darkness.
Thank you.
December 2, 2008 I wrote my first post for this blog. I was not new to blogging. I was not new to getting things off my chest. This seemed like the perfect vehicle - I could blog and get things off my chest. What could be better?
Somewhere along the line, I slipped off track. (With apologies to Bruce Springsteen who wrote that line in "One Step up, Two Steps Back.") It went from a place where I could be pretty funny, a la Michael Phelps's fans against Kellogg to a dark place where I didn't rant, but cried. That is not funny. It wasn't funny then. It isn't funny now. A little history.............
I was 16 years old and I was a dork. Not the cool dork on Big Bang Theory. No, I was a bad student, who did just enough to get by in school, got into a few fights, and generally was the class clown. I enjoyed it. I met this girl. She was the prettiest girl in the school. She was smart. She was fun. And, for some reason that, 23 years later I cannot understand still, she wanted to go out with me. It was a surprise. It shocked me. But, who was I to say no to a date with a girl who was smart and pretty? I jumped on it!
We spent the next year and a half or so finishing high school, going on cheesy dates (yes, miniature golf and Dairy Queen was our first date), and slowly, at least for her, less so for me, we fell in love. I knew before I graduated high school that I loved this girl. And I told her so.
As for the rest of my life, I couldn't have told you what I was going to do, how, where, why or when. I did tell my dad and one of his friends, some big wig at Johnson & Johnson, that I would be a millionaire by 35. (Newsflash: I didn't make it.) But I didn't need to know what I wanted to do, or how or any of that stuff, because somehow it would work out. It always did for me. And how I could I not believe that would happen? I was dating the most amazing girl I had ever met. If that worked out, why wouldn't everything else work out? Besides, my dad always told me I didn't need to know what I wanted to do when I was in high school.
We went to college. I was actually told by my guidance counselor not to bother applying - I couldn't get in to college. I applied anyway. I guess I don't like being told that I can't do things. I was accepted. I hated it. So I went home after a year and attended a junior college. Then, together, we decided to come to Sacramento. Once again, somehow, things worked out for me.
I decided when we came to Sacramento that I shouldn't push my luck - I called my mom and told her when we came home for Thanksgiving I wanted to go to the jewelry store and buy an engagement ring. She was supportive and helped me pick one out.
You see, things worked out. They always did. I didn't worry about it. But, today, as I sit here, I know why they worked out - the glass was always half full. Life didn't get me down. It happened. I tried my best and things worked out. I didn't worry about what other people said or did.
Anyway, back to the story. I interviewed for jobs during my senior year of college and took a job as an insurance adjuster. I turned down a great paying job at BofA as a computer programmer so I could "adjust claims," whatever that meant. After my training, I heard about this CPCU thing. I didn't know what it was, but I was told not to worry about it - I wasn't smart enough to earn it. There were 10 essays you had to write, get a recommendation from someone with a CPCU and have 3 years of experience in the industry. Just months after my 3 year anniversary, I earned my CPCU, which is still the hardest exams I have taken in my life.
I continued to work my way up the ladder. Jobs seemed to just fall into my lap. Then law school started. Heck, as a full time employee with a wife, taking 3 classes at night was not rocket science. I managed to find a way to get through that first year.
Early in the second year, we had a hiccup. We survived, even if I had to yell at some folks and lay into them pretty hard. We had a child, then two. Life was good. I graduated, took the bar exam, had surgery the very next day, and started my new job while I waited for bar results. Again, I couldn't complain too much.
Now, looking back, it is here when the bitterness began to creep in. You see, I wasn't spending my Friday nights at the beach, dreaming of going to college, marrying my dream girl, talking to my dad about what plans I had for my future. My future was here - and my dad wasn't. After my graduation, but before bar results came out, my dad died. We immediately went down for the funeral and my aunt, she who no longer speaks to me, said "This is a blessing." She went on and on about how now my mom wouldn't suffer taking care of my dad, who had Parkinson's Disease. I was 29 years old.
Bar results came and I passed, but so did my mom's dad, my Papa. My dad was the toughest man I ever knew, but my Papa was a close 2nd. This guy fought in the Gold Gloves boxing tournament back in the day - way back. Somehow, though, we managed to keep going. Two kids, a nice house, a good job.
One fateful day, about a year later, I started this little adventure of running my own law firm. On that same day, unbeknownst to us, our youngest son was born. So, the day I decide to start running a law firm is the same day our 3rd son was born. My wife, the brave soul that she is, convinced me, maybe us?, that we could handle this. So, we said yes to the son (not yes to the dress!) and two months later he came home.
I knew nothing about running a law firm and even less about practicing law. But I was pretty sure I could run a business. And I could sell sand to the folks living in the Sahara. So how hard could it be? We made it work........
My oldest son was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum shortly after that. More darkness crept in. I don't know how women deal with these things, but I know how men deal with them - we don't. Nope. I couldn't deal with it. I didn't deal with it. I faked it well.
My sister died. I found out after the funeral.
My son got worse. And worse. And, still worse.
But in there, somewhere, my little girl, against all odds, was conceived. She came into this world on 09/09/09. It had to be a miracle, right? It had to be a sign. But more darkness crept in.
In 2010, my blog posts got darker. My world was darker. 2011 saw my mom die at 71. Two parents gone before I turned 40. I was uninvited to her funeral. No one talked to me. How on earth does this happen?
I can probably point to a more specific cause, but does it matter? Really, in the grand scheme of things, does it matter why it happened? It happened. This isn't an expose into why men are lame, why we can't cope, or why we fall into a depression.What matters is that it happened.
I know some of the posts were funny. Some were still good. Some were really good. A lot were dark. Maybe the darkness, the sadness, didn't come through. But I can go back and read them, and I see it.
Lately, that has changed. I see not darkness, but light. I look at my wife and don't see the woman who is making it through this crap with me. No, that's not her. I see the girl I married. I see this young, vibrant face. I see a light in her eyes. I see the fun we had, the fun we have, and the fun we will have. I see that beautiful girl who listened to my dumb ideas when we walked on the sand, listened to the waves crash, and whose face shone in the moonlight.
You see, I realized something recently: I can bitch, moan and complain and feel sorry for myself OR I can do something good in the world. This had been making its way into my head for sometime. I felt more positive. I felt better. I felt like I was helping people. Fine, maybe the 86 year old woman kissing me after I settled her case helped.
But there was more to it. I went to Florin High School last week. I spoke to these high school kids. I thought it was going to be lame. It wasn't. (You can read it here: http://randomrants08.blogspot.com/2013/04/florin-high-school-law-fair.html) I thought it was going to be me talking to no one who cared. It wasn't.
I realized over the last week that life is pretty good. It isn't perfect. It sure as heck isn't what I planned. I didn't plan on being 39 years old with 4 kids who range from 3 to 13. I didn't plan on a severely special needs teenager. But, I sure as heck didn't plan on being Mr. Negativity. I didn't plan on being the guy who was depressed, saw everything in a bad light, who was unhappy.
What does this mean for my blog? I will still rant. I think I can do it and be funny. I am sure of it. I will still mock things that need to be mocked. I will not, however, go back to that dark place. I will make sure it is lighthearted. I will go back, as close as possible, to being the guy who walked on the beach at 16 without a care in the world, seeing the good in everything. Life is simply too short for a guy whose parents died at 62 and 71. Life is too short for a guy who has 4 kids and a wife to protect.
So, there you have. Thank you to you and you and you. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for letting me see me again. Thank you for reminding me that life is too short for me to deal with nonsense, to deal with darkness.
Thank you.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Florin High School Law Fair
So yesterday I was asked to be a "presenter" at the Florin High School Law Fair. (I think that is the official name, although I will defer to someone from Florin High School for the official name.) It turns out that Florin High School has a law club. Did you know that? I sure didn't. It was a great event. But, it struck me how little we know about our schools.
Last year, EGUSD was considering a boundary change for kids in Laguna West. I was an outspoken critic. I was a loud, outspoken critic. My problem was not the schools, but was the process. I spoke out twice - once at a "community meeting" and once at the school board meeting. Both times, I tried to make it clear that my concern was not the schools, after all I think Laguna Creek High School, where my kids will go, is a good school. My concern was with the way this was presented.
I have subsequently spoken to the two men who, at least in my opinion, were pushing the idea. I may still have a disagreement, but when you talk to them, both of them come across as reasonable men who have explained their ideas to me. I appreciate that.
However, some of the parents had a problem with the schools. They thought, or maybe still think, that both Harriet Eddy Middle School and Laguna Creek High School are bad schools. This is based on some "reputation," which, quite frankly, I don't know about. I have heard about fights, but I cannot think of a high school that I know about that doesn't have fights.Yesterday made me realize that these parents are wrong.
So what does a law fair at Florin High School have to do with the ideas people have about Laguna Creek High School? How can the two be related? Its easy, really.
Prior to this week, I would have assumed the following about Florin High School: its in a rougher part of town, the kids are not going to be high achievers, I would talk to a lot of kids who don't really care, and I wouldn't choose it as my first school to go speak to. These were my assumptions. Fair or not fair, we all have them. And, I am man enough to admit it - I was WRONG!
These kids blew me away. Smart, funny, high achieving. It took me about 20 minutes to really warm up to them yesterday. But, I still haven't forgotten the interactions. These kids care. These kids want to succeed. Now, they may not have the tools they need, they may have issues at home or in the community that may hold them back, but don't tell me these kid's don't want to succeed. Four students stand out.
About 45 minutes into the program, I was approached by a group of four kids who asked some really good questions. A bit later, a guy, lets call him student 4, comes up to me and tells me that he is smart, but that he does not have focus. He says "Something you said really struck a nerve with me." I asked what that could be. He said "You said you get to help people. I think its cool that there is a job where you can help people."
In addition to this young man, three girls (are they called young ladies?) came up to me and made an impression. One of them had a good discussion with me about personal injury cases. She was struck by a car. She was articulate, thought about her questions, and really made an effort to engage. The other two girls had questions about landlord tenant law and were relating what I was talking to them about with what they were learning in their business law class. It was nice to see them make "connections" as my sons would call it from elementary school.
You see, my impressions of the school, my assumptions, my beliefs, were wrong. But, I didn't know they were wrong. I could not have known they were wrong. Why? Because I had never actually spent time at Florin High School. I had never talked to the kids. I had never met the Principal or Vice Principal. I had never even been to the campus.
Teenagers are snowflakes. No two are the same. We may think we know what they are like, but you have to go out into the snow to find out. Some of them are going to be hard and icy. Some are going to be soft and fluffy. Some of them are going to stick well to others and some are out there, floating, trying to find their way.
We can never assume that any two, even from the same school, the same neighborhood, the same street, are the same. I remembered that yesterday. And for that, I would like to thank the staff, advisors, administrators and students at Florin High School. I would be privileged and honored to come back and talk to you anytime.
Last year, EGUSD was considering a boundary change for kids in Laguna West. I was an outspoken critic. I was a loud, outspoken critic. My problem was not the schools, but was the process. I spoke out twice - once at a "community meeting" and once at the school board meeting. Both times, I tried to make it clear that my concern was not the schools, after all I think Laguna Creek High School, where my kids will go, is a good school. My concern was with the way this was presented.
I have subsequently spoken to the two men who, at least in my opinion, were pushing the idea. I may still have a disagreement, but when you talk to them, both of them come across as reasonable men who have explained their ideas to me. I appreciate that.
However, some of the parents had a problem with the schools. They thought, or maybe still think, that both Harriet Eddy Middle School and Laguna Creek High School are bad schools. This is based on some "reputation," which, quite frankly, I don't know about. I have heard about fights, but I cannot think of a high school that I know about that doesn't have fights.Yesterday made me realize that these parents are wrong.
So what does a law fair at Florin High School have to do with the ideas people have about Laguna Creek High School? How can the two be related? Its easy, really.
Prior to this week, I would have assumed the following about Florin High School: its in a rougher part of town, the kids are not going to be high achievers, I would talk to a lot of kids who don't really care, and I wouldn't choose it as my first school to go speak to. These were my assumptions. Fair or not fair, we all have them. And, I am man enough to admit it - I was WRONG!
These kids blew me away. Smart, funny, high achieving. It took me about 20 minutes to really warm up to them yesterday. But, I still haven't forgotten the interactions. These kids care. These kids want to succeed. Now, they may not have the tools they need, they may have issues at home or in the community that may hold them back, but don't tell me these kid's don't want to succeed. Four students stand out.
About 45 minutes into the program, I was approached by a group of four kids who asked some really good questions. A bit later, a guy, lets call him student 4, comes up to me and tells me that he is smart, but that he does not have focus. He says "Something you said really struck a nerve with me." I asked what that could be. He said "You said you get to help people. I think its cool that there is a job where you can help people."
In addition to this young man, three girls (are they called young ladies?) came up to me and made an impression. One of them had a good discussion with me about personal injury cases. She was struck by a car. She was articulate, thought about her questions, and really made an effort to engage. The other two girls had questions about landlord tenant law and were relating what I was talking to them about with what they were learning in their business law class. It was nice to see them make "connections" as my sons would call it from elementary school.
You see, my impressions of the school, my assumptions, my beliefs, were wrong. But, I didn't know they were wrong. I could not have known they were wrong. Why? Because I had never actually spent time at Florin High School. I had never talked to the kids. I had never met the Principal or Vice Principal. I had never even been to the campus.
Teenagers are snowflakes. No two are the same. We may think we know what they are like, but you have to go out into the snow to find out. Some of them are going to be hard and icy. Some are going to be soft and fluffy. Some of them are going to stick well to others and some are out there, floating, trying to find their way.
We can never assume that any two, even from the same school, the same neighborhood, the same street, are the same. I remembered that yesterday. And for that, I would like to thank the staff, advisors, administrators and students at Florin High School. I would be privileged and honored to come back and talk to you anytime.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Writing time - 1 minute
Some quick thoughts on a Tuesday night that I need to get off my chest.
1. Pity parties - this kind of goes with #2. But I am starting with it. I am tired of people and their pity parties. Aww, you have to work 12 hours. Aww, you have a kid who isn't listening. Aww, its so hard. Yes, yes, it is. You can either sit and whine and have your pity party or you can suck it up and move on with life. What is your choice?
2. Life - this kind of goes with #1. Look, life is hard. But not everyone is going to complain about it, write about it on Facebook, or whine about it. Its just not how everyone is wired. For some of us, we just suck it up, talk to our spouse or friends, and move on. So if we are not complaining about it, it does not mean that everything is great. It does not mean our lives are easier than yours. It just means we have made a different decision on how to handle it. Don't assume.
3. Funerals - this came up in a conversation with a friend the other day. Funerals are about honoring the deceased, not issues with the living. So it was idiotic when my brother tried to uninvite me to my mom's funeral. It wasn't his place. But, the living seem to forget that its about those who are no longer with us. Do not try to control the funeral like its a party. Remember the purpose.
And with that, goodnight............
1. Pity parties - this kind of goes with #2. But I am starting with it. I am tired of people and their pity parties. Aww, you have to work 12 hours. Aww, you have a kid who isn't listening. Aww, its so hard. Yes, yes, it is. You can either sit and whine and have your pity party or you can suck it up and move on with life. What is your choice?
2. Life - this kind of goes with #1. Look, life is hard. But not everyone is going to complain about it, write about it on Facebook, or whine about it. Its just not how everyone is wired. For some of us, we just suck it up, talk to our spouse or friends, and move on. So if we are not complaining about it, it does not mean that everything is great. It does not mean our lives are easier than yours. It just means we have made a different decision on how to handle it. Don't assume.
3. Funerals - this came up in a conversation with a friend the other day. Funerals are about honoring the deceased, not issues with the living. So it was idiotic when my brother tried to uninvite me to my mom's funeral. It wasn't his place. But, the living seem to forget that its about those who are no longer with us. Do not try to control the funeral like its a party. Remember the purpose.
And with that, goodnight............
Thursday, April 4, 2013
This and that
Its been a while since I was doing my month of positivity. So let me get a few quick hits in.
1. Law students are idiots. Well, so are some lawyers. Apparently, these law students, or former law students, are now suing their law schools. They claim that the law schools didn't tell them the true job placement rate. So, lets say school TJ reported that its employment rate was 90%. That meant 90% of its graduates were working, but not that 90% were working full time as lawyers. Everyone knew this. At least, everyone who can think knew this. These folks say they were duped.
First, who actually believes anything a law school, or any college, says. This school says its good for partying or seaside living. Another school says its good for meeting women. Maybe a third school says its good for people who want to become hair removal experts. They are lying. They all lie. Why? Because they want you to come to their school. If you believe them, you are an idiot, as Dr. House would say.
Second, if you don't do your own fact checking, you shouldn't be allowed to go to any graduate school. One of the things law school teaches, and the LSAT is supposed to test for, is the ability to think and reason. Look, there are only so many jobs as a lawyer. Its a finite number in any given year. If there are 200 law schools and each one puts out 200 lawyers a year, that is 40,000 new lawyers a year. Now, thankfully, some of them will not pass the bar exam. But lets say 75% due. That is 30,000 new lawyers every year. Then add in the folks who didn't pass the bar the year before and you have 35,000, 36,000 lawyers looking for jobs. Either they aren't all getting jobs or they are aren't all getting legal jobs. AND NOT ALL OF THEM WANT LEGAL JOBS! Two guys I went to law school with decided to stay with their previous careers. But they were still employed.
Think about it. If you are a 4th tier law school and you want people to come, you need to show that people who graduate get jobs. So you include everyone, as was the standard. It doesn't matter if they are working at Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe or at Burger King. They are working. If you are applying to a law school and you see it is a 3rd or 4th tier law school and the job rate is 95%, aren't you going to say to yourself, "Hmmmm.........I wonder how 95% of these folks got jobs? I know I would ask that question and I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. So if you can't fact check, maybe graduate school is not the right future for you!
Third, if they are flat out lying, fine sue then, but in this case, its how the numbers were reported. In other words, the ABA asked for what percentage of graduates were working, not what percentage were working as lawyers or in full time jobs. It was reported per the standard. You should know to check on that before you go to law school if you want to be a lawyer. It is basic checking, the same type of checking you would do before sending a letter to someone or filing a lawsuit. If you cannot do that fact checking and figure out what was reported, then you really should re-think your future.
There is no merit to these lawsuits because you are an idiot if you a) believe anything any school ever tells you about getting a job, b) think you deserve some job because you are a lawyer and c) think that you are better than the other people out there just struggling to get by.These kids expect a six figure job right out of school.
2. Elk Grove is run by morons. Seriously. So there is a group that wants to get an MLS team in Elk Grove. YAY! Everyone is all happy. It ain't happening. MLS has pretty much come out and said so. There will be 1 more team. It will either be in NY or in Florida. Period. MLS encouraged everyone in Sacramento to support the "local team" which is the San Jose Earthquakes.
But, the geniuses who run Elk Grove, have decided that they want a team here anyway. They are looking at spending $9 million to buy land for a $100 million publicly financed stadium that, according to their own numbers, would lose $5 million per year. What the hell? You want to build something that you admit will lose money?
"Hi, Mr. Math, and I would like to explain to you the concept of BANKRUPTCY. Apparently, my example in Stockton didn't get your attention. If you are losing money every month, you are going to end up BANKRUPT. There is no such thing as negative money!"
Seriously, this is idiotic. Every study says publicly financed stadiums don't generate much growth, that there are better ways to generate growth, that cities don't need to finance them. The SF Giants just built PacBell Park with 3% public money. That means 97% of the money was private money. But apparently Elk Grove is SOOOO cool that we need to pay for an entire stadium ourselves. For a team that does not exist. For a team that does not have an agreement with ANY soccer league at ANY level. Yes, we are going to build it and hope they come. Unless Kevin Costner is around, it ain't happening!
I won't even get into who they are doing business with. Its a joke. A former Assembly Speaker who most people think used his influence to get his son's prison sentence commuted. Sheesh.
And then we have our Mayor talking at his state of the city speech, if you can call it a speech, talking about fiscal responsibility. First, Mr. Mayor, make sure your tie is on right and tied properly. Then stop reading what you wrote and look at people while you speak. Once you get those two down, you should be able to speak, not just in complete sentences, but thoughts, ideas, paragraphs, if you will, without stopping. It is how the professionals speak. And it ain't that hard! If you are going to talk about fiscal responsibility, don't come up with a dumb idea that is going to lose $5 million per year. That is not responsible. That is called IRresponsible. In other words, not responsible.
By the way, I do have vision and I do not have an inferiority complex. Yes, an elected official in Elk Grove sent me a message that I have an inferiority complex. Me? Really? Have you met me? I have a lot of things, but an inferiority complex is not one of them. By the way, nice way to correspond with your constituents with the name calling. Very mature. (Notice, not once did I call anyone a name here. I could have. I probably should have. But, alas, I did not.)
3. This last one will be short. You know what you get in life? Nothing. You get not one single thing. It may end for you today, tomorrow or in 40 years. You have no idea. It may be full of joy, full of sadness or somewhere in between. What will it be? I don't know. You don't know. So, you know what you should do? Wake up, thank God (or whomever) that you are alive, kiss your wife (or husband), hug your kids and make every day the best. Don't expect anyone to give you anything. It won't happen. If you want it, bust your ass and you may be able to get it. But don't whine when you don't get it and don't whine when people don't give it to you.
There, now I feel better.
1. Law students are idiots. Well, so are some lawyers. Apparently, these law students, or former law students, are now suing their law schools. They claim that the law schools didn't tell them the true job placement rate. So, lets say school TJ reported that its employment rate was 90%. That meant 90% of its graduates were working, but not that 90% were working full time as lawyers. Everyone knew this. At least, everyone who can think knew this. These folks say they were duped.
First, who actually believes anything a law school, or any college, says. This school says its good for partying or seaside living. Another school says its good for meeting women. Maybe a third school says its good for people who want to become hair removal experts. They are lying. They all lie. Why? Because they want you to come to their school. If you believe them, you are an idiot, as Dr. House would say.
Second, if you don't do your own fact checking, you shouldn't be allowed to go to any graduate school. One of the things law school teaches, and the LSAT is supposed to test for, is the ability to think and reason. Look, there are only so many jobs as a lawyer. Its a finite number in any given year. If there are 200 law schools and each one puts out 200 lawyers a year, that is 40,000 new lawyers a year. Now, thankfully, some of them will not pass the bar exam. But lets say 75% due. That is 30,000 new lawyers every year. Then add in the folks who didn't pass the bar the year before and you have 35,000, 36,000 lawyers looking for jobs. Either they aren't all getting jobs or they are aren't all getting legal jobs. AND NOT ALL OF THEM WANT LEGAL JOBS! Two guys I went to law school with decided to stay with their previous careers. But they were still employed.
Think about it. If you are a 4th tier law school and you want people to come, you need to show that people who graduate get jobs. So you include everyone, as was the standard. It doesn't matter if they are working at Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe or at Burger King. They are working. If you are applying to a law school and you see it is a 3rd or 4th tier law school and the job rate is 95%, aren't you going to say to yourself, "Hmmmm.........I wonder how 95% of these folks got jobs? I know I would ask that question and I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. So if you can't fact check, maybe graduate school is not the right future for you!
Third, if they are flat out lying, fine sue then, but in this case, its how the numbers were reported. In other words, the ABA asked for what percentage of graduates were working, not what percentage were working as lawyers or in full time jobs. It was reported per the standard. You should know to check on that before you go to law school if you want to be a lawyer. It is basic checking, the same type of checking you would do before sending a letter to someone or filing a lawsuit. If you cannot do that fact checking and figure out what was reported, then you really should re-think your future.
There is no merit to these lawsuits because you are an idiot if you a) believe anything any school ever tells you about getting a job, b) think you deserve some job because you are a lawyer and c) think that you are better than the other people out there just struggling to get by.These kids expect a six figure job right out of school.
2. Elk Grove is run by morons. Seriously. So there is a group that wants to get an MLS team in Elk Grove. YAY! Everyone is all happy. It ain't happening. MLS has pretty much come out and said so. There will be 1 more team. It will either be in NY or in Florida. Period. MLS encouraged everyone in Sacramento to support the "local team" which is the San Jose Earthquakes.
But, the geniuses who run Elk Grove, have decided that they want a team here anyway. They are looking at spending $9 million to buy land for a $100 million publicly financed stadium that, according to their own numbers, would lose $5 million per year. What the hell? You want to build something that you admit will lose money?
"Hi, Mr. Math, and I would like to explain to you the concept of BANKRUPTCY. Apparently, my example in Stockton didn't get your attention. If you are losing money every month, you are going to end up BANKRUPT. There is no such thing as negative money!"
Seriously, this is idiotic. Every study says publicly financed stadiums don't generate much growth, that there are better ways to generate growth, that cities don't need to finance them. The SF Giants just built PacBell Park with 3% public money. That means 97% of the money was private money. But apparently Elk Grove is SOOOO cool that we need to pay for an entire stadium ourselves. For a team that does not exist. For a team that does not have an agreement with ANY soccer league at ANY level. Yes, we are going to build it and hope they come. Unless Kevin Costner is around, it ain't happening!
I won't even get into who they are doing business with. Its a joke. A former Assembly Speaker who most people think used his influence to get his son's prison sentence commuted. Sheesh.
And then we have our Mayor talking at his state of the city speech, if you can call it a speech, talking about fiscal responsibility. First, Mr. Mayor, make sure your tie is on right and tied properly. Then stop reading what you wrote and look at people while you speak. Once you get those two down, you should be able to speak, not just in complete sentences, but thoughts, ideas, paragraphs, if you will, without stopping. It is how the professionals speak. And it ain't that hard! If you are going to talk about fiscal responsibility, don't come up with a dumb idea that is going to lose $5 million per year. That is not responsible. That is called IRresponsible. In other words, not responsible.
By the way, I do have vision and I do not have an inferiority complex. Yes, an elected official in Elk Grove sent me a message that I have an inferiority complex. Me? Really? Have you met me? I have a lot of things, but an inferiority complex is not one of them. By the way, nice way to correspond with your constituents with the name calling. Very mature. (Notice, not once did I call anyone a name here. I could have. I probably should have. But, alas, I did not.)
3. This last one will be short. You know what you get in life? Nothing. You get not one single thing. It may end for you today, tomorrow or in 40 years. You have no idea. It may be full of joy, full of sadness or somewhere in between. What will it be? I don't know. You don't know. So, you know what you should do? Wake up, thank God (or whomever) that you are alive, kiss your wife (or husband), hug your kids and make every day the best. Don't expect anyone to give you anything. It won't happen. If you want it, bust your ass and you may be able to get it. But don't whine when you don't get it and don't whine when people don't give it to you.
There, now I feel better.
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