They grow up fast enough

I will preface this with the following: this may offend some of you; this may annoy some of you; some of you may disagree. That being said, I don't ever hide what I think so here goes.

One of my favorite songs when I was little, and heck it still is, is Cats in the Cradle. (If you don't know it, a) what planet are you from and b) you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUwjNBjqR-c) Its about a dad who sings of his son who was born and learned to walk while he was away. Then, the child turns 10 and wants to learn how to play catch, but dad can't teach him. The kid comes home from college and wants to borrow dad's car keys. Then, dad retires and calls his son, but his son is too busy with his own life. It turns out the son grew up just like the dad.

I would listen to this song and, to this day, it causes me to tear up. I had my boys listen to it today. I don't know if they understood it, but it was something we could do together. I never wanted to grow up like my dad. Heck, I never wanted to grow up. But here I am, an adult, with kids of my own. And I realize that my kids, all kids, are growing up too fast.

My oldest is going to be 13 in less than a month. He has so many issues that it is just tough. Its hard. I can't explain it. I grew up in a house with an older sister who had some issues, but not nearly as bad as my son's issues. I remember going to doctor appointments, running all over town (and half the state) with my mom and my sister.

My middle son is 11. He is in 6th grade. Although, it feels like high school. At back to school night, the teacher had to announce that the girls cannot wear makeup. Really? That had to be announced? Apparently, it was more of a problem than I realized.

For his birthday, we got him a cell phone. He can call us and send text messages, although he is limited to 300 messages a month. He has also been told he cannot delete messages. I plan on checking up on him. This, I am told, is strange. So, today I checked his phone. My, oh my.

I found him texting a girl. This girl is, um, advanced. She went to the halloween festival in tight jeans, a top, makeup (including bright red lipstick) and a cowboy hat. That, my friends, is not a costume. That is like my dressing up in a polo and jeans and saying I am a lawyer. It just doesn't pass the smell test.

She was talking about what  boys like what girls and how she doesn't understand why the boys all like a certain girl. WTF? 

Look, maybe I am old fashioned, or an old soul, or just plain old. I get that. But I don't think my 11 year old needs to have these conversations. I can count on one hand every girl I had a crush on - ever. Is that strange? Maybe. I also married my high school sweetheart, so what the heck do I know. I am sure this girl's mom knows about it. I am sure most of the parents know about it.

Apparently, this is fine with some parents. Okay, they can raise their kids any way that they feel is appropriate. I will raise my kids in a way that I feel is appropriate. Thats how it works.

But don't our kids grow up too fast already? My dad used to sit me down and tell me that each generation has it harder than the prior one. When my dad was 15, they were just getting rock n roll. When he was in his 20s, there was a war going on.

When I was 15, there was gangsta rap. In my 20s, we were in an almost constant war - a war that hasn't ended in my 30s. My kids are 12, 11, 8 and 3. I know my boys are exposed to more profanity in a day then I was in a year. The songs on the radios talk about rolling joints, disrespecting woman. And somehow we find that appropriate.

I wish we could all slow down and realize that our kids are still kids. My boys still do things that are very boy like. I am glad. I want them to be boys. The longer they are boys the better. Because, as a man, as a father, I know that life isn't as easy as it is at 11 and 8. I know that things will only get harder, decisions will be more difficult, life choices are forced upon you.

Remember Jack and Diane: Hold on to 16 as long as you can..........(For those of you who do not know, its here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h04CH9YZcpI) I want my boys to be boys. I want the talk about who likes who, and the makeup, and the pressure to just stop. It wont, but I will do my best to keep it in check.