Fathers and Daughters

I never asked my dad what it was like to have a daughter. I guess I could have. I probably should have. But, I didnt. When he died, I only had sons. I never thought about having a daughter. So, it wasnt something that came up.

Tonight, I took my daughter to our first Father Daughter dance. Okay, technically it was the Princess Cupcake Ball. But it was still a dance. We danced our first dance to Tim McGraw's "My Little Girl." (Watch the song's video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I5UV4VWCSk)

I realized on the drive home how much this little girl means to me. Its different than my boys.

My first son means so much. He was a miracle, a miracle I never thought would happen. Years of waiting, uncertainty, some heartache, then a boy. I changed my first diaper with that kid. I had so many dreams and hopes for him. They all won't  come true, but he was my first.

My second son was my first post September 11. We were in NYC 6 weeks after that horrible day and my 2nd son was hope for the country. He was light during a dark time. And he is now my mini-me. A little too much on the me side of that!

My third son was born after my dad passed away. He was my dad reincarnated, or something like that. We named him for my dad and he reminds me of my dad in so many ways.

All three were amazing. All three were gifts. All three are special. None of them are my little girl.

She is my miracle. I can't ever explain how she came to be. I don't know. But she is this amazing little creature who makes me smile. The last 3 years have been filled with ups and downs. The ups were great. The downs were some of the lowest times in my life.

I never really talked about this before but during some of those downs, I was unsure that I wanted to keep living. One look at her, and I knew I did. She gave me a reason to continue living. She gave me hope for the world. She reminded me that sometimes you can't explain things in the world, but you don't have to explain them. She reminded me that life is a good thing.


Tonight we danced our first dance. Tonight we shared a moment that I will never forget. Tonight she reminded me that, as bad as life has been at times, its never been that bad. She held my face while we danced (okay, I am not that short, I was holding her in my arms) and told me she loved me. I held her back and saw an angel. She is my angel.

I dont know what it is about daughters. I do know they are special. Different from my boys (who stayed home and took care of mommy, including buying dinner and dessert). She is my sweet little girl. I love her and I am so glad every day that I get to wake up and see that perfect little person.