People Suck

Its been a while since I blogged. Probably too long. Or for those of you who have read this before, maybe you want a longer wait. (Warning: Not everything that is here is kid friendly so don't read this with your 8 year old around. As Charles Barkley said, I am not a role model.)

WTF is up with people? I seriously want to go kick someone's ass. Not "ha ha that was a funny high school girl fight." I mean actually kick someone's ass. And the ass of said person is large enough that I would try to kick it out the other side. I mean, douchebag's like this don't have male genitalia so its not like I would ruin something. But, before I get there, a few other things that bother me.

If you own a car, and you have a freaking driver's license, why don't you learn how to drive? Sure, we all get in accidents. I understand. In fact, it is what helps me pay the bills. So, I am not anti-accident. Except when it comes to me.

I am driving tonight and there is an accident in the lane I am in. The cars are stopped. Everyone sees this. Everyone in the other lane lets cars in. I am the next car in my lane. My turn signal has been on for some time. I am in a big Expedition with my lights on. The only person who couldn't see me should have been the blind guy walking down the sidewalk. No, really, there was a blind guy walking down the sidewalk. But the dweeb in the car in the right lane continues to come fast and honks at me. Fine, I dont want to crash my car into his POS car. (Go find the prior post with the link to Adam Sandler. I am not in the mood to find it again.) Then this old lady comes driving down the road and does the same thing. Finally, the nice guy behind lets me in.

I drive up to the old woman. I honk at her and she puts her hands up like she doesn't know what I am talking about. Really, lady? You didnt see me get behind you after you refused to freaking let me in? Do I have "IDIOT" written across my forehead? You know you were a bitch and I know you were a bitch. In a civilized society, you would apologize for being a bitch. I would smile and wave and still think you are a bitch, but at least a bitch who apologized. You would go from a zero in my book to like a 4. An apology means a lot.

I had every intention of going up to the guy in the car. But, that dumbass ran the red light at the next intersection. Look, buddy, I know you clearly have vision problems since you couldn't see my car. I know you clearly don't care about your POS car because the guys in that gum commercial (Big Red, maybe) could pick up your car and move it and you clearly didn't care if I ran it over. I know you don't care about what happens to you since you were fine with letting me smush you like a monster truck runs over one of those flattened junkers. But, running a red light? Really? You think that is a good idea? How about the innocent folks who you could have injured or killed because you are in a rush to get to your Losers Anonymous class? Or maybe you were on your way to "I have a bad hair piece and women won't talk to me" club? I don't know and I don't care. I just know that you are a hazard and should never be on the road.

Then there are people who just don't get it. Look, if you don't like how I am doing something, tell me. Its not that hard. Dont pretend its not a problem and then drop it on me at the last minute. I know I am not perfect. These days I am pretty fucking far from perfect. I saw perfect once from two light years away. That is the closest I have gotten. And last month, it moved to four light years away. And there was a black hole between me and perfect. But, give me a break. A little warning before you drop a bomb on someone, especially a friend, would be nice. Is that really asking for too much?

But beyond those groups of people (oh and dude who cannot drive, you better stay off the roads near my house because I am pretty sure one day I will see your picture in the paper with your car in a house and I do not mean the garage), there are bigger a-holes. These are the greedy son-of-a-bitch bleep-sucking m-f'ing bastards whose ass I would like to kick. No, wait, whose asses I would like to kick. Multiple folks in this group. I can think of at least 6.

Look, if you are greedy and want to scam folks, fine. Move to your own private island and scam yourselves. After all, its the only action you will be getting. But don't scam me. And really dont scam innocent folks. Sure, I know con men go back a long way. I like reading books about them. But don't do it. Go try to hustle at pool or basketball. Oh wait, you dumbasses are too old and too pathetic to be able to play a real sport like that. You just think you can go ahead and rip people off. Sure, maybe you got away with it for a while. But you always get caught. Always. And the punishment is always bad.

A word to the wise: if you are in a group of people and you cannot figure out who the mark is in a group, it is probably you. And yes, this applies to me as well. I should have bleeping remembered it. Sometimes we get too cocky and too caught up to realize we are the mark. And it sucks when you finally figure it out, especially when you get stuck with consequences because of it. It fucking sucks and it pisses me off. We have to take responsibility for our actions, but when you have been lied to and played, it doesn't make you feel any better taking responsibility. It does create a strong desire to go pummel someone. No, not just anyone. Thankfully, I would never actually do it because one of my four or five friends (that is total) would talk me out of it.

I know I ain't that smart. Of course, I was recently told I am not as smart as I think I am. Since I currently think of myself as having an IQ of about 70, I think that is impossible. Sure, I can put together words and talk off the cuff. But don't get the ability to talk confused with being smart. I have seen a lot of smart people who can't put together a sentence. And I know a lot of dumb asses who talk so much you would think they were getting paid by the letter. But even when you aren't that smart, it is no fun to be the mark. It sucks. It bites. It blows. And none of those in the good way. Only in the "dang it, this blows" way.

So there you go. People who suck. Not everyone sucks. Some people are very nice. Some people are good. Some people need a reminder that they are good people. And doing something bad doesn't mean you are a bad person. We all f up. I know I have more times than I can count. What matters is how you respond. Are you going to be the bitch who doesn't let someone in and won't apologize or are you going to be the person who says "I fucked up and need to make this right?" I choose the second option.