7 things I think

So my wife bought me a stress ball. But not just a stress ball. She loves me. She also bought me a stress guy. You know, its like the ball but its a blue dude that you can squeeze the crap out of. Yeah, well, still hasn't resolved my stress. So here goes.

1. ATM Machines - folks, its not like these are some new fangled gadget. I get that its a machine and that it must be freaking cool. Its not that cool. It takes your money. It gives you money. It may even sell stamps, if you really need stamps. Its a great little invention, or it was in 1968. It was so high tech. But, its 2013. It shouldn't come as a surprise that there are ATMs everywhere. And you should be expected to know how to use it. For example, if you are standing so close to me that I can smell your BO, you are too close. If you continue to stand so close to me that I can smell  your BO even after I turn around and look at you, then you are way too close. Back the fuck up and give me some space. Think of it this way - if you think that people need 1 foot of personal space, at an ATM machine it should be 3 times that much. So, I need 3 feet of personal space. You get too close and someone punches you, its your own damn fault.

2. Assumptions -Why do people make assumptions based on their life about others? What do I mean? So, in your life, everyone is happy. Don't assume that everyone you meet is then happy. Look, I am guilty of this too. I am going to try to work on it next year. But we need to stop assuming that because we see A that everyone else sees A as well. I am sorry that you don't understand why people need to hire attorneys. That doesn't mean that everyone else sees it that way. Some people think attorneys are useful. Can you just leave it at that? The events you experience in life are not the events that anyone else experiences and you need to just back off and stop assuming that they see things the same way.

3. Profanity - I know I use fucking profanity in this blog. You know it too. You don't read this without knowing that there is profanity. When its more than once or twice, I even warn you on the post. But its not really a public forum. Sure, if you do the right search you will find it. But its not like there are 12 year olds reading this or old women. But it still bothers me that people drop profanity in public as if it is no big deal. I heard a woman call another woman a "bitch" the other day in public. Why on earth would you do that? Fine, you are upset. You are angry. Can't you express that without the fucking profanity? Seriously, profanity is fine if you are talking to your buddies, in your house or someone has done something so bad that the only way to describe it is to drop the f-bomb, as in "You are a fucker for punching Sue." Otherwise, lets cut back on the profanity, especially around women and children!

4. Language - that brings me to my next problem. Language. Words means something. Every word you say has a meaning. So, if  I say "You are a jerk" then each word in that sentence means something. If I say "I don't want to talk to you" that means that I, the person speaking, does not want to talk to you! If you don't mean what you are saying, then find different words. And if the only word you can come up with is bitch or fuck or ass or motherfucker or something along those lines, than expand your vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "I can't believe that you fucked me like that" you could say "I am very upset that you treated me that way." See, better and a more proper use of language.

5. Morons - what the hell is up with people? Are people dumber now than they were before? Do you read what some of these people write? Or listen to what they say? They are idiots. Everyone has a different perspective. Maybe we need to send some of these people back to school. Or they need sensitivity training. I know the holidays can be stressful. But can we stop being morons.

6. Driving - speaking of being morons, do you know that the car you drive is a deadly weapon? Yes, it is. People can die because you drive like crap. When you are driving, your first job is to drive. That is easy. Don't put on your makeup. Don't try to squeeze your piece of crap car in a spot between me and the car in front of me. If you are trying to change lanes and there is a car there, don't do it. If you have to drive an extra 300 feet to be safe, then drive an extra 300 feet to be safe. Is it really that hard?

7. Music - UGH! I hate today's music. There is some song and I believe the lyrics go something like "blunt blunt blunt roll that blunt." I could write a song like that. Ready, my 10 seconds to write a chorus to some crappy song today:

Porn porn porn
I watch some porn
Porn Porn Porn
Because I dont fucking know how to talk to people
Porn Porn Porn
I don't have a woman because I watch
Porn Porn Porn


Seriously, that is as good as a lot of this crap. Don't tell me its not. I think maybe I should become a songwriter!



Okay, there. Now I feel a bit better!