And I don't even know why. Wait, I think I do. It sucks. It just sucks. We aren't like other families.
I drove my youngest son to band practice yesterday. It was a rehearsal before his first concert. It was near where my oldest son used to live. And I got mad. And sad. And upset. And annoyed. And any other synonym you can come up with.
Why? I don't know. I am still angry that he ended up in LA. I still harbor some ill will towards the people who ran the prior group home. I still blame them. And so it made me mad. I wanted to cry. I couldn't. How could I explain that to my kids?
UGH! So I have been grumpy the last two days. And I have no explanation as to why.
That's it. Back to your regularly scheduled reading.............
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
7 things I think
So my wife bought me a stress ball. But not just a stress ball. She loves me. She also bought me a stress guy. You know, its like the ball but its a blue dude that you can squeeze the crap out of. Yeah, well, still hasn't resolved my stress. So here goes.
1. ATM Machines - folks, its not like these are some new fangled gadget. I get that its a machine and that it must be freaking cool. Its not that cool. It takes your money. It gives you money. It may even sell stamps, if you really need stamps. Its a great little invention, or it was in 1968. It was so high tech. But, its 2013. It shouldn't come as a surprise that there are ATMs everywhere. And you should be expected to know how to use it. For example, if you are standing so close to me that I can smell your BO, you are too close. If you continue to stand so close to me that I can smell your BO even after I turn around and look at you, then you are way too close. Back the fuck up and give me some space. Think of it this way - if you think that people need 1 foot of personal space, at an ATM machine it should be 3 times that much. So, I need 3 feet of personal space. You get too close and someone punches you, its your own damn fault.
2. Assumptions -Why do people make assumptions based on their life about others? What do I mean? So, in your life, everyone is happy. Don't assume that everyone you meet is then happy. Look, I am guilty of this too. I am going to try to work on it next year. But we need to stop assuming that because we see A that everyone else sees A as well. I am sorry that you don't understand why people need to hire attorneys. That doesn't mean that everyone else sees it that way. Some people think attorneys are useful. Can you just leave it at that? The events you experience in life are not the events that anyone else experiences and you need to just back off and stop assuming that they see things the same way.
3. Profanity - I know I use fucking profanity in this blog. You know it too. You don't read this without knowing that there is profanity. When its more than once or twice, I even warn you on the post. But its not really a public forum. Sure, if you do the right search you will find it. But its not like there are 12 year olds reading this or old women. But it still bothers me that people drop profanity in public as if it is no big deal. I heard a woman call another woman a "bitch" the other day in public. Why on earth would you do that? Fine, you are upset. You are angry. Can't you express that without the fucking profanity? Seriously, profanity is fine if you are talking to your buddies, in your house or someone has done something so bad that the only way to describe it is to drop the f-bomb, as in "You are a fucker for punching Sue." Otherwise, lets cut back on the profanity, especially around women and children!
4. Language - that brings me to my next problem. Language. Words means something. Every word you say has a meaning. So, if I say "You are a jerk" then each word in that sentence means something. If I say "I don't want to talk to you" that means that I, the person speaking, does not want to talk to you! If you don't mean what you are saying, then find different words. And if the only word you can come up with is bitch or fuck or ass or motherfucker or something along those lines, than expand your vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "I can't believe that you fucked me like that" you could say "I am very upset that you treated me that way." See, better and a more proper use of language.
5. Morons - what the hell is up with people? Are people dumber now than they were before? Do you read what some of these people write? Or listen to what they say? They are idiots. Everyone has a different perspective. Maybe we need to send some of these people back to school. Or they need sensitivity training. I know the holidays can be stressful. But can we stop being morons.
6. Driving - speaking of being morons, do you know that the car you drive is a deadly weapon? Yes, it is. People can die because you drive like crap. When you are driving, your first job is to drive. That is easy. Don't put on your makeup. Don't try to squeeze your piece of crap car in a spot between me and the car in front of me. If you are trying to change lanes and there is a car there, don't do it. If you have to drive an extra 300 feet to be safe, then drive an extra 300 feet to be safe. Is it really that hard?
7. Music - UGH! I hate today's music. There is some song and I believe the lyrics go something like "blunt blunt blunt roll that blunt." I could write a song like that. Ready, my 10 seconds to write a chorus to some crappy song today:
Porn porn porn
I watch some porn
Porn Porn Porn
Because I dont fucking know how to talk to people
Porn Porn Porn
I don't have a woman because I watch
Porn Porn Porn
Seriously, that is as good as a lot of this crap. Don't tell me its not. I think maybe I should become a songwriter!
Okay, there. Now I feel a bit better!
1. ATM Machines - folks, its not like these are some new fangled gadget. I get that its a machine and that it must be freaking cool. Its not that cool. It takes your money. It gives you money. It may even sell stamps, if you really need stamps. Its a great little invention, or it was in 1968. It was so high tech. But, its 2013. It shouldn't come as a surprise that there are ATMs everywhere. And you should be expected to know how to use it. For example, if you are standing so close to me that I can smell your BO, you are too close. If you continue to stand so close to me that I can smell your BO even after I turn around and look at you, then you are way too close. Back the fuck up and give me some space. Think of it this way - if you think that people need 1 foot of personal space, at an ATM machine it should be 3 times that much. So, I need 3 feet of personal space. You get too close and someone punches you, its your own damn fault.
2. Assumptions -Why do people make assumptions based on their life about others? What do I mean? So, in your life, everyone is happy. Don't assume that everyone you meet is then happy. Look, I am guilty of this too. I am going to try to work on it next year. But we need to stop assuming that because we see A that everyone else sees A as well. I am sorry that you don't understand why people need to hire attorneys. That doesn't mean that everyone else sees it that way. Some people think attorneys are useful. Can you just leave it at that? The events you experience in life are not the events that anyone else experiences and you need to just back off and stop assuming that they see things the same way.
3. Profanity - I know I use fucking profanity in this blog. You know it too. You don't read this without knowing that there is profanity. When its more than once or twice, I even warn you on the post. But its not really a public forum. Sure, if you do the right search you will find it. But its not like there are 12 year olds reading this or old women. But it still bothers me that people drop profanity in public as if it is no big deal. I heard a woman call another woman a "bitch" the other day in public. Why on earth would you do that? Fine, you are upset. You are angry. Can't you express that without the fucking profanity? Seriously, profanity is fine if you are talking to your buddies, in your house or someone has done something so bad that the only way to describe it is to drop the f-bomb, as in "You are a fucker for punching Sue." Otherwise, lets cut back on the profanity, especially around women and children!
4. Language - that brings me to my next problem. Language. Words means something. Every word you say has a meaning. So, if I say "You are a jerk" then each word in that sentence means something. If I say "I don't want to talk to you" that means that I, the person speaking, does not want to talk to you! If you don't mean what you are saying, then find different words. And if the only word you can come up with is bitch or fuck or ass or motherfucker or something along those lines, than expand your vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "I can't believe that you fucked me like that" you could say "I am very upset that you treated me that way." See, better and a more proper use of language.
5. Morons - what the hell is up with people? Are people dumber now than they were before? Do you read what some of these people write? Or listen to what they say? They are idiots. Everyone has a different perspective. Maybe we need to send some of these people back to school. Or they need sensitivity training. I know the holidays can be stressful. But can we stop being morons.
6. Driving - speaking of being morons, do you know that the car you drive is a deadly weapon? Yes, it is. People can die because you drive like crap. When you are driving, your first job is to drive. That is easy. Don't put on your makeup. Don't try to squeeze your piece of crap car in a spot between me and the car in front of me. If you are trying to change lanes and there is a car there, don't do it. If you have to drive an extra 300 feet to be safe, then drive an extra 300 feet to be safe. Is it really that hard?
7. Music - UGH! I hate today's music. There is some song and I believe the lyrics go something like "blunt blunt blunt roll that blunt." I could write a song like that. Ready, my 10 seconds to write a chorus to some crappy song today:
Porn porn porn
I watch some porn
Porn Porn Porn
Because I dont fucking know how to talk to people
Porn Porn Porn
I don't have a woman because I watch
Porn Porn Porn
Seriously, that is as good as a lot of this crap. Don't tell me its not. I think maybe I should become a songwriter!
Okay, there. Now I feel a bit better!
Sunday, December 8, 2013
The problem with giving
I figured it out. Giving is too hard for most people. No, that is not a shot at them. It is a true statement. It is too hard to give. I would like to say its no one's fault,. but that would be wrong. It is someone's fault.
You see, we decided to go buy some coats for homeless kids and give them out on Saturday. We have had a very nasty cold spell. Fine, its not New England cold or Denver cold, but for us, it is cold. Most people don't have a heavy coat that is quite heavy enough for this. And imagine if you were a homeless kid. You sure as heck don't own a coat that you can use. So, we came up with this idea. Great.
One problem: no one makes it easy to give out. We drove around parts of town where the homeless people live. Your town has a place like that. Every town does. You may know where it is. You may not. But you probably should know.
There are "social service" agencies that claim to help the homeless. But they don't work together. They want you to give them the donation so they can decide who is worthy to get it. What makes them so special that they can make that decision? I don't want them making that decision. Its my damn money. I want to decide who gets the coats that I buy. I don't want some bureaucrat making that decision. I dont even like bureaucrats!
We used to "adopt a family" every Christmas. Guess what? They don't do that either. They want you to give them the gifts. Then they decide who gets them. Again, why? What makes them a better person to decide who is worthy to get the gift that I give? It is my right to give.
You see, if we made it easy for people to give, they would give. Don't set up levels and levels of bureaucracy. We need to give directly to the people who need it.
Wait, I know. Some people who get it aren't going to do the "right thing" with the gift. You are right. They may not. Some parent may take the coat and sell it to another person whose kid needs a coat. Someone may use the coat to burn a fire. I get it. But, who am I to judge? There but for the grace of God, go I.
So that is it. That is the problem with giving. We make it too hard for people to give. We set up too many roadblocks. We create levels of bureaucracy, some of which don't agree with other levels of bureaucracy or other bureaucratic organizations. We need to get out of this cycle and let people give directly to those who are needy. That, my friends, would make the world a better place.
You see, we decided to go buy some coats for homeless kids and give them out on Saturday. We have had a very nasty cold spell. Fine, its not New England cold or Denver cold, but for us, it is cold. Most people don't have a heavy coat that is quite heavy enough for this. And imagine if you were a homeless kid. You sure as heck don't own a coat that you can use. So, we came up with this idea. Great.
One problem: no one makes it easy to give out. We drove around parts of town where the homeless people live. Your town has a place like that. Every town does. You may know where it is. You may not. But you probably should know.
There are "social service" agencies that claim to help the homeless. But they don't work together. They want you to give them the donation so they can decide who is worthy to get it. What makes them so special that they can make that decision? I don't want them making that decision. Its my damn money. I want to decide who gets the coats that I buy. I don't want some bureaucrat making that decision. I dont even like bureaucrats!
We used to "adopt a family" every Christmas. Guess what? They don't do that either. They want you to give them the gifts. Then they decide who gets them. Again, why? What makes them a better person to decide who is worthy to get the gift that I give? It is my right to give.
You see, if we made it easy for people to give, they would give. Don't set up levels and levels of bureaucracy. We need to give directly to the people who need it.
Wait, I know. Some people who get it aren't going to do the "right thing" with the gift. You are right. They may not. Some parent may take the coat and sell it to another person whose kid needs a coat. Someone may use the coat to burn a fire. I get it. But, who am I to judge? There but for the grace of God, go I.
So that is it. That is the problem with giving. We make it too hard for people to give. We set up too many roadblocks. We create levels of bureaucracy, some of which don't agree with other levels of bureaucracy or other bureaucratic organizations. We need to get out of this cycle and let people give directly to those who are needy. That, my friends, would make the world a better place.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
The loss of common courtesy
If you are reading this, you probably know what I do for a living. But if you don't, I practice law. There is some joke that they call it the practice of law because we are always learning. Something like that. I probably blew that. That's okay. It was never that funny to begin with.
Anyway, I received a letter yesterday and I thought to myself "Hmmmm............that is not professional." But then I talked to people about it. I realized its not that it was not professional. It was definitely not professional. But that was not the problem with it. The problem was that there was no common courtesy. You see, here is the phone call that preceded this letter:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
You did not misread that. That was not me losing the ability to write. That was the actual phone call. Wait, that's right. THEY NEVER CALLED ME!
Look, the world is a complicated place. Technology makes it too easy for us to text or email or kik or snapchat or whatever with other people. If you want something, do you know the easiest way to get it? This is going to come as a surprise................you should call them.
Yes, that thing that is plugged in on your desk that has numbers 0-9 and a handset? That is called a telephone. If you pick up that handset looking thingy, and you press either 7 or 10 numbers (technically, 11), and you hear this ringing sound. Then, either someone picks up the other telephone or it goes to this voice mail invention.
You see, you then get to have a conversation with someone. You talk. You work out issues. You resolve disputes. You make plans. You may even make a friend. It should not be rocket science to do this, especially if you think you are smart.
If I am smart enough to use a phone and you think you are smarter than me, than you should be smart enough to use a phone. If you can't, don't blame your generation. Don't blame your age. Blame your parents for not teaching you how to be courteous and how to interact with other people.
Is it really that hard?
Anyway, I received a letter yesterday and I thought to myself "Hmmmm............that is not professional." But then I talked to people about it. I realized its not that it was not professional. It was definitely not professional. But that was not the problem with it. The problem was that there was no common courtesy. You see, here is the phone call that preceded this letter:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
Them:
Me:
You did not misread that. That was not me losing the ability to write. That was the actual phone call. Wait, that's right. THEY NEVER CALLED ME!
Look, the world is a complicated place. Technology makes it too easy for us to text or email or kik or snapchat or whatever with other people. If you want something, do you know the easiest way to get it? This is going to come as a surprise................you should call them.
Yes, that thing that is plugged in on your desk that has numbers 0-9 and a handset? That is called a telephone. If you pick up that handset looking thingy, and you press either 7 or 10 numbers (technically, 11), and you hear this ringing sound. Then, either someone picks up the other telephone or it goes to this voice mail invention.
You see, you then get to have a conversation with someone. You talk. You work out issues. You resolve disputes. You make plans. You may even make a friend. It should not be rocket science to do this, especially if you think you are smart.
If I am smart enough to use a phone and you think you are smarter than me, than you should be smart enough to use a phone. If you can't, don't blame your generation. Don't blame your age. Blame your parents for not teaching you how to be courteous and how to interact with other people.
Is it really that hard?
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Its the freaking holidays
I don't know if anyone knows this, but its the holiday season. Yes, it is. It started on Thursday. Well, Friday for most people. Thursday, if you want to be technical. Or, for some whackjobs, November 1. Yes, some people think the holidays start the day after Halloween. Newsflash: they dont!
What is the holiday season? Is it a time to give thanks for all we have in the world? Is it a time to reflect on how lucky we are? Is it a time to pull our loved ones close, squeeze them and tell them we love them? I would say yes..............
Unfortunately, the world is full of morons and idiots. Do you know what these people think the holidays are: a time for buying every freaking thing on sale as cheaply and rudely as possible. How do I know this? Because I watch these arses do this every year.
I went to Target tonight. What did I see? Exhibit A: a lady was looking at some toy or some such nonsense. She grabbed said toy and let her 3 or 4 year old daughter take every freaking gift bag off of the shelf and put it on the floor. All of them. I couldn't get through the aisle. So she looks at her daughter as I stand there, says "no" and then moves the gift bags to the side. That's right. She doesn't put them away!
Exhibit B: some lady wanted some garbage "present." It wasn't there. Yes, surprisingly, stores run out of crap, especially cheap crap. What does she do? She yells about it. At some poor guy making $10 per hour who can barely figure out why he is being yelled at.
Exhibit C: drive through any parking lot and watch these people fight over parking spaces so they can be the closest one to the store. Why? So they can carry out bags and bags of "gifts" and not have to walk too far. Hey, a little walk may do you some good.
I am sick and tired of this stuff. Look, I don't know what holiday you celebrate but it is probably Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanzaa. Lets just say that is a good guess. Hanukkah is the festival of lights. Its not the festival of gifts. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. (Maybe that is a simplistic explanation, but its not my holiday.) It is not the celebration of the birth of Black Friday or Cyber Monday or Suck it Wednesday. Kwanzaa is a celebration of African American culture. It is not the celebration of African American gift giving.
Look, I get that getting a present is cool. It can be fun. I like getting presents as much as the next guy. But you don't have to be a douche when you are buying a gift. You can be polite. Imagine if we all stopped for 2 minutes and were nice to the moron buying the 16 whatachmacallits because he thinks they will be the hot toy and he can resell them on Craigslist or eBay and make money. Imagine if we didn't have to push people out of our way to get to some gift or we didn't have to fight over parking spaces.
Imagine, if you will, that we celebrated the spirit of the holidays, instead of the gift giving of the holidays..............
What is the holiday season? Is it a time to give thanks for all we have in the world? Is it a time to reflect on how lucky we are? Is it a time to pull our loved ones close, squeeze them and tell them we love them? I would say yes..............
Unfortunately, the world is full of morons and idiots. Do you know what these people think the holidays are: a time for buying every freaking thing on sale as cheaply and rudely as possible. How do I know this? Because I watch these arses do this every year.
I went to Target tonight. What did I see? Exhibit A: a lady was looking at some toy or some such nonsense. She grabbed said toy and let her 3 or 4 year old daughter take every freaking gift bag off of the shelf and put it on the floor. All of them. I couldn't get through the aisle. So she looks at her daughter as I stand there, says "no" and then moves the gift bags to the side. That's right. She doesn't put them away!
Exhibit B: some lady wanted some garbage "present." It wasn't there. Yes, surprisingly, stores run out of crap, especially cheap crap. What does she do? She yells about it. At some poor guy making $10 per hour who can barely figure out why he is being yelled at.
Exhibit C: drive through any parking lot and watch these people fight over parking spaces so they can be the closest one to the store. Why? So they can carry out bags and bags of "gifts" and not have to walk too far. Hey, a little walk may do you some good.
I am sick and tired of this stuff. Look, I don't know what holiday you celebrate but it is probably Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanzaa. Lets just say that is a good guess. Hanukkah is the festival of lights. Its not the festival of gifts. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ. (Maybe that is a simplistic explanation, but its not my holiday.) It is not the celebration of the birth of Black Friday or Cyber Monday or Suck it Wednesday. Kwanzaa is a celebration of African American culture. It is not the celebration of African American gift giving.
Look, I get that getting a present is cool. It can be fun. I like getting presents as much as the next guy. But you don't have to be a douche when you are buying a gift. You can be polite. Imagine if we all stopped for 2 minutes and were nice to the moron buying the 16 whatachmacallits because he thinks they will be the hot toy and he can resell them on Craigslist or eBay and make money. Imagine if we didn't have to push people out of our way to get to some gift or we didn't have to fight over parking spaces.
Imagine, if you will, that we celebrated the spirit of the holidays, instead of the gift giving of the holidays..............
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