Octuplet Overload

Okay, so this lady, and I don't remember her name and don't care enough to look it up, had octuplets. You have heard about that. She had six kids and decided it would be a good idea to have more. She went to a crazy fertility doctor who implanted her with too many embryos and she ended up with eight babies.

So, how did she pay for this $100,000 or so treatment? She used money from her $165,000 disability settlement. Of course, that runs out. Oh, and she had her parents watch her other 6 kids. Of course, now they are being foreclosed on. Her first publicist quit after getting threats. That publicist worked for free. Brilliant move for that person. They got more pub than they could buy.

Octuplet mom now wants to go back to school to finish her master's degree. Sure. Right. Like that will happen. What is she going to do, go to school while her kids live in a cardboard box? No, wait, she is going to go on welfare. She already is on welfare.

Now, I don't have a problem with welfare for people who need it, but 14 kids? Really? You do not need welfare. You need to be fixed. Wait, it is called a tubal ligation. Being fixed is for animals. Of course, having 8 babies at once is like a litter so maybe she does need to be fixed.

So, now Oprah wants to talk to her. I am sure Katie Couric will want to talk to her. Hell, she needs ratings. Maybe Maury. Geraldo got going, but had to go open an empty vault. (The alliteration there is funny.)

This lady may be a moron for having 14 kids or 8 at a time. But, she is crazy like a fox. She is in the newspaper every day. Her name, whatever it is, is all over the internet. The tv folks want her. The radio folks want her. Hollywood wants to do the Hollywhore story, er, I mean the story of the woman who had 14 kids.

Look, you want 14 kids, do it the Duggar way. Have one at a time from the time you are 12 until you are 40. Then, when your youngest is born and your oldest is getting married, go on the honeymoon with your oldest. That's normal. Maybe, and here is an idea, you shouldn't have 14 kids. It makes no sense.

Really, it is dumb. Idiotic. Stupid. One kid is a lot of work. Two kids are not twice as much work, but two and a half times more work. Three kids is crazy. And that is doing it with two parents. You want to do this by yourself like you are some supermom. You can't even take care of your current kids. You need your parents to do that. And you have the audacity to have more kids? Sheesh.

14 kids means you are looking for TLC to do a show about you. Maybe you can enter your kids into Toddlers and Tiaras.

Hey, crazy octuplet mom, why don't you enter your kids into that? They can compete against each other. You would probably like that. Maybe your older kids, who are clearly going to be teased at school, would like to whoop on the octuplets in a pageant. You could use the money after all.

Here is my offer to you: I have $5 for you to leave. No, not leave LA. Stay there. Leave the press. Stop talking to the media. Get your parents to close the door, lock it and not open it again. I don't want to see them on tv. I don't want to see you on tv. I don't want to hear from any of you. I don't even want to read about you anymore. Stop. Go home. Leave us alone. Go take your 14 kids and pray every night that they grow up to be good citizens and not sponges on the system like you.