Marijuana Smokers Against Kellogg

By now you have heard about Michael Phelps and the bong, er, pot pipe, er, pipe to smoke legal tobacco only and for entertainment purposes only. He was at the University of South Carolina, which by the way is not USC, that is in Southern California. He smoked from a pipe and someone took a picture. The picture made it public. There was an outcry - "Oh my gosh, a 22 year old smoking dope." Kellogg pulled its sponsorship of Phelps. (I make no moral judgment on Phelps or what he did. I make no moral judgment on Kellogg or what it did either.)

So, now NORML and a few of its friends are urging a boycott of Kellogg by pot smokers. They want the potheads to call Kellogg and let them know what they think. I think it would go something like this:

Kellogg (K): Kellogg customer service. How may I help you?
Pothead (PH): Hey, dude, I am calling to, er, hold on a sec....
(aside to a friend - Dude, what is that word I want to say? Friend: Chef Boyardee. No wait, Burger King. No, boy cod. That's it - boycott.)
PH: I am calling to let you know I am going to boycott Kellogg because, hold on, my turn on the pipe (inhaling sound heard on the phone). Uh, dude, where was I? Oh, that's right. I am going to....
K: Excuse me, sir, what are you talking about?
PH: I have the munchies now. I need some food. Do you have food?
K: Sir, this is Kellogg customer service in Battle Creek, Michigan. Our company makes food.
PH: Food sounds good. Do you have any munchies?
K: Sir, we make snack foods. I highly recommend many of our snack products.
PH: That sounds good. Oh wait, I know. I called to let you know I am going to, er, Chef Boyardee you. No, dude, that is not right. I mean, boycott you.
K: Sir, why are you boycotting me?
PH: Well, dude, it is not you. It is your company.
K: What company is that, sir?
PH: I don't remember. Are you with the DEA?
K: Sir, I am with Kellogg customer service. What can I help you with?
PH: BOYCOTT! BOYCOTT! BOYCOTT!
K: I can offer you a free box of Toasty Crackers with Peanut Butter if you give me your name and address.
PH: Dude, free munchies. Make it two boxes and you have a deal.
K: That is fine sir.

Imagine the potheads who want their munchies so bad that they are going to boycott Kellogg. Really? You care that much about Michael Phelps losing one sponsorship? How many potheads even know who Phelps is? Sure, they probably know the Flying Tomato, but Phelps? I didn't know that swimming and pot mixed.

Memo to potheads, er, those people who like to partake of marijuana: GET OVER IT! Phelps is and you should be too!