Street Racing

An open letter to the schmucks who were racing their cars down the major street in my neighborhood tonight:

First, racing down the street is dumb. You risk a whole lot of lives - and only two of them are yours. Well, in this case three since that third guy decided to join in. Not sure if you are aware of this, but if you hit someone at 60mph and they are going the opposite direction at 40mph, it is like a 100mph crash. But, karma being what it is, you won't die. The other person will.

Of course, in your POC car (piece of crap, but feel free to check out the Adam Sandler song with a similar title WARNING: the song does contain profanity) you probably put in racing seat belts so you are safe. And you probably reinforced the bumper. You morons don't understand that everyone else is at risk more than you are.

Second, you are driving a POC car. Just because you drive fast, does not mean you have a cool car. There are plenty of cars that go fast and still suck. Heck, a 72 Ford Pinto can go fast but it will also explode on impact.

Third, women don't think you are cool. This is going to be a newsflash to these guys: women don't think its cool to race your car. In fact, they think you are lame. You will not get a woman because you drive like a maniac who thinks he is Tony Stewart. Sure, you may have a gut like Tony Stewart, but you don't have the skills of Tony Stewart, or the money for that matter. All you have is, well, um, not much. Sorry. I can't come up with one reason why a woman would like you. Not one single reason.

Fourth, it doesn't actually get you there faster. You made it to your destination about 2 seconds before I did. And that is only because you cut me off so you could make the turn into the parking lot. Had you kept going straight, you would have reached your destination at about the same time I did. And, I didn't risk anyone's life. Schmuck. I drove safely, at the speed limit, and didn't swerve in and out of traffic.

I don't know why you guys think its cool. If you want a testosterone rush, there are plenty of other options. You can go to the gym, work out, take up sports, go to a strip club. Pretty much anything but race your car down the street. Heck, if you are insistent on racing, go to the local track during open racing nights and see how fast you are down the quarter mile. But, don't do it on the streets where you are going to kill someone. MORONS!