A week from hell

I am in a bad mood. It has been a week. A very, very long week. Where do I start? Wait, I know, people have it worse than me. Sick kids. Dying parents. I get it. So this is not a "oh pity me" post. I am fortunate enough to have this blog to vent. So now I vent.

Lets see............dear douchebags who stole my credit cards - twice: you suck. Really? Is it that cool to spend someone else's money? Do you think it is a good idea to use my credit card? Sure, I don't know who you are. But I am pretty sure you are not a short, white, bald dude. And I am pretty sure I bust my ass harder than you bust yours. So you are stealing. Just so we are clear. It is theft. You are a thief. You are a no good piece of crap. I hope you end up living under a gutter.

Okay, the rest of it isn't that bad. At least, I don't think. A flat tire. New tires on the car. People who don't listen..........oh, and debt collectors.

I did get some good lines in.

Lets see. If you are a debt collector and you are attempting to collect a debt from overseas, do not be surprised when I tell you that my left testicle is smarter than you. Yes, when you tell me that the law does not apply to you and that you will do whatever you want to do, I may explain to you how my left testicle is smarter than you. What? You don't like that. Well, guess what? I don't like douchebags. I guess we are even.

But, that wasn't even the best. There is a debt collector who shall remain nameless (FS Mediation aka FS Legal or FS Law). These folks are in NY or OH or Toronto. Or some other Gawd-awful place. They are some of the most idiotic people you have met. Seriously. Find the dumbest dude you know. Then think that he is 10 times smarter than these folks.

So, yesterday, this Patty Callahan dude told my client he was the President. Then he told me he was a paralegal to some 90 year old attorney who practices family law. I asked for his address. He didn't know it. Yes, dude told me that he doesn't know his address. I may have told him that he is an idiot. May have. Not sure.

Today, I spoke with some other guy who told me he couldn't give me a fax number. I asked him "Does your mom know you are a scam artist? Is she proud of you for being a scam artist?" For some reason, he didn't find that funny. But dude is running a scam. No fax? No email? No address? Yes, we call that a scam. And he was offended. Can you believe that?

You want offensive? This is offensive: you take advantage of the elderly, single moms, women, people with disabilities. At some point, I will track you down. I will find you. I always do. Until then, please understand that my left big toe is smarter than you. And if you think I am wrong, you can kiss my white ass.