An Open Letter to My Middle Son

Dear Son:

I love you. Always remember that.

I have tried to talk to you, but you don't always want to listen. This isn't surprising, I didn't always want to listen to my dad either. Why didn't I listen? I knew I was smarter than my dad. I knew he had no idea what I was going through. Oh, and I was stubborn.

Do you know why you don't listen to me? You know you are smarter than me. You know that I have no idea what you are going through. Oh, and you are stubborn.

Guess what? You are also wrong. How do I know this? I was also wrong. I know. It is stunning to hear. It stunned me when I learned I was wrong. But, it happened. I was older than you, but I realized it.

One day, I was in college. I asked my dad about a problem I was working on in economics. He closed his eyes, as he did, and a few seconds later, he gave me an answer. There was no way he could be right. You needed a book with a table to get the answer - or a computer. He had neither. He couldn't be right. Except, you know what? He nailed it. His answer was perfect. He couldn't tell me how he did it or how to get the right answer. But he got it. At that moment, my son, I realized that I was wrong.

You and I have talked about how smart my dad was. You know I think he is the smartest man I have ever met. And, quite frankly, its not even close. But, what you don't know, is that I didn't realize that at 11 or 12 or 13. I didn't realize that until I was 20.

My dad and I sat outside one day, talking. We were at Del Mar, where I learned to boogie board, and where you now learned to boogie board. He looked at me and said "I know its harder for you growing up than it was for me." I didn't understand. So I asked him. He said "Each generation it gets harder. My generation had to deal with a war, but that was about it. You have cigarettes, drugs and things like that to deal with. Those weren't problems when I was a kid. I know that its harder for you, but you can always talk to me."

Guess what, my son? I know its harder for you growing up than it was for me. You have drugs to worry about. You have cell phones, Facebook, text messages. Kids talk about things much faster than they did when I was a kid. I know its hard. But, you can always talk to me.

I know school is hard. It was hard for me. I know its tough when you are the smallest in your class. I, too, was small. I know middle school isn't easy. There is more work. There are new kids, more kids, different kids. There is puberty and all of those hormones. And there are girls! Its hard, dude. I get it.

But you know what would make it easier? If you would give in, just a little, and listen to mommy and I. We have been through middle school. We both survived. We do know what we are talking about. We just want to help you and see you succeed. I promise it won't hurt.

Give it a try, my son. You know how I tell you I am a lot like my dad? I am. But this is one way I am different. My dad helped me when I got to high school. I will tell you that story when you are older. But, in middle school, my mom and dad didn't support me like your mom and I support you. My dad was still traveling and my mom was working. Looking back, I wish they had been around more, like your mom and I are around for you. That is the biggest reason I work for myself - so I can be there for you.

Let us help you. Then, one day, you will look back and tell your kids about how they are not smarter than you, even if they think they are!

Love,

Dad