Sears

Dear Sears:

F--- you. Seriously. Oh wait, I am sorry. Sears doesn't exist. Dear Searsholdings: F--- you. Your customer service blows. Big time. I could get better customer service from my dog. Now granted, my dog is smarter than your average dog, but he is still just a DOG! Do you not understand what customer service is?

You see, I went to your store to buy a dryer. Why? Because you said you could deliver it and install it the next day. Isn't that part of your advertising? I don't get it. So, fine, you tell me you can install it the next day. Great. I buy it for over $1,000. I am not sure if you are aware, but its a freaking recession. Do you know what that means? People don't spend $1,000 on dryer's. That could explain why I was the only one there buying anything!

So no call on Sunday night as promised. I mean, how am I supposed to know when you are coming if you don't call? Monday morning at 7:30, someone calls and will be out between 1:30 and 3:3o. Not perfect, but fine. I need my dryer - hence buying one and spending money on you delivering it and setting it up! But fine. We make it work. Dude shows up at 2:30 and is done in about 5 minutes.

Today, we go to use said dryer and it doesn't work. Now I am not a dryer expert, but it should work IF ITS BRAND NEW! But this doesn't work. So I break out the manual and try a few things. Oh guess what, you didn't set it up right.

So I call. First guy tells me I called the wrong number. He gives me a different number. Then I get a guy who tells me that I need to have the installation guy come back out. Um, if he didn't do it right the first time, why on earth would I want him to come out again? Seriously. You mean that the guy who couldn't do it right the first time should come back out and not do it right the 2nd time, but I should trust him to do it right this time? Yeah, I think not.

Then I am put on the phone with a woman who sounds like she is in India. Oh wait, she probably is. She tells me that she can't get someone out for a few days. Do you not realize that I paid for next day installation, not next day partial installation? Seriously, if I wanted it installed wrong, I would have done that myself. Its that freaking hard? I tell her I need someone today. She says I have to speak to the manager.

You would think this is progress. WRONG! She apparently meant the manager on duty of the store where I bought it. How is this person going to help me? Well, first she tells me that she is on a cordless phone and can't hear me that well. I ask her if Sears has any phones with cords. Apparently, her phone is so bad that she can't even hear this! After a few more minutes of her having a phone that apparently routes through Timbuktoo, she hangs up on me. UNREAL!

So I call back. I get told that someone is looking into it and will call me back. Guess what? No freaking call back. What do I do? I call them. I am not sure if they know this but when you have 4 kids you make a lot of laundry. How are we supposed to live without a dryer? I know. The laundromat. Yep, that is why I spent $1,200 on a dryer - so I could go to the freaking laundromat.

So I get this woman who now tells me the number I was given to call is wrong. Of course, she sounds like she is in China or Malaysia or some place where they don't have proper phone service. She is going to transfer me. I swear I am not making this up. She transfers me - and it rolls right back to her. How the hell do you do that? Seriously, you transferred me, it rang, I got the message that I had called Sears and it goes back to you? Are you joking? So I told her I still needed someone who could help. She transfers me again.

This time I get some dude on the phone. At least he sounds like he is in the US. But he tells me that it sounds like they didnt vent the dryer before sending it out to us. So it will require them to pick it up, take it back to the warehouse, vent it and then bring it back to me. This could take several days. I explain to him that I didn't drop $1,200 on a dryer to have it take a week and if they couldn't fix it, that they could take it back. His actual response: "That is fine with me." Really? Its fine with you. Then come pick it up.

Oh suddenly I am serious. OOPS! Bad call on his part. I don't bluff on that crap. So it turns out that a brand new one will be delivered - tomorrow, and VENTED! What kind of shmucks deliver a dryer that isn't vented? Oh, they are supposed to call me between 6 and 8 tonight to tell me what time they will be delivering it. Want to bet that doesn't happen?

Of course, he is sending me a coupon for 10% off my next purchase at Sears. What are the odds of that happening? Slim and none. Why would I spend my hard earned money on your products when it took me an hour to get this cleared up? Do I have idiot written across my head?