More on parenting

So I have been thinking about this for a few days. Mulling it over. No, not the fact that Tracy Morgan is a douchebag. This is a fact. Dude is a douchebag. I guess I have never really watched him before but he can barely put together a complete sentence. And he can't talk. Is that funny? Is mumbling funny now? If so, I am going to start talking without moving my mouth. I am sure my high school speech coach is going to love that. "himynameisjonandiamnotmovingmymouthwhenitalk."

In addition to mumbling, dude thinks its funny to make gay jokes. Sure it is. And then he is going to make fun of the mentally challenged. Yeah, mental illness is real fucking funny. How about if I start making fun of your skin? Or maybe I should make fun of your nose? Oh wait, not funny? I know. That is why I am not a douchebag. Only douchebags make fun of things about people that the people can't change. Race, religion, sexual orientation, mental illness. None of these are funny. Ever. And if you are a "professional comedian" you should be funny enough to make jokes without going to any of those. If you can't make jokes without going to these, then find a real job like the rest of us.

But that's not what has me annoyed today. I won't even get into people who are never freaking happy. Go away unhappy people. You blow. Big time. I was at the store the other day with my kids. Its me with my lack of hair, my translucent daughter and my very tan boys. We are a motley crew. I admit it.

I had to keep putting up with some guy giving me a look like I was Satan or something with my tan kids and my white skin. Yes, I know you dweeb - they don't look like me. And the more you look, the less they are going to look like me. I do appreciate when people try and try and try to make them look like me. "Did you have curly hair?" (My youngest son has curly hair.) No, I didn't. But thanks for asking. Staring at me is not going to make my boys look like me. Never. Ever.

I know this. They know this. Do you think staring at us is going to make someone feel better? Maybe it will make you feel better. I guess. If you are a loser. How exactly does this help anyone? Lets see - if I stare, maybe they will be so uncomfortable that they will leave. Sure. That is exactly it. You have me figured out.

Oh wait, no you don't. I am not going to leave because you are so uncomfortable with yourself that you are going to keep looking. Its one of the lamest, dumbest, most idiotic things you can do. Stare all you want, you piece of crap. I am not going to apologize for my kids looking like my kids. They are mine and I love them. If you don't like that, I would suggest you go crawl in a cave so we can blow up the entrance and not have to put up with your kind anymore.

I have always said there are very few things I will fight you over. One of them is my kids. So I would suggest in the future that you stop staring at them and mind your own fucking business, you waste of space in this great country of ours.