Okay, I know I have been trying to be more positive. And that is why I haven't posted as much. But today I just feel the need to rip some people.
First, what is the deal with the folks who drive piece of crap cars? I know - I write about it every few months. Go google Adam Sandler's song and listen to it. I won't link to for a 20th time. Its like they drive a piece of crap so they don't care if they pull out in front of you, cut you off or in general drive like their cars - garbage. I don't understand it. Fine, your car sucks. But does that mean you want to die? Seriously. Your 1988 Honda Civic is not going to do well against my Expedition. I promise you that won't end well for you. There is a reason I drive a big car - and its because of folks like you.
Second, the guy at the Farmers Market....really, the Jews caused 9/11. Really? Its a big freaking conspiracy and its the Jews fault? Do you really believe that or is your life so pathetic that you have nothing better to do than sit there every single Sunday and spill this nonsense? I guess the Jews also killed Jesus, the Holocaust never happened and the right to bear arms means that everyone in the country is allowed to have a maximum of 2 arms. (Yes, I am being literal. Yes, it is funny. Laugh. Laugh, I say, or I will make you listen to this guy and his nonsense.) Get a clue. Seriously.
Speaking of people who need a clue, how about the guy who tried to get San Francisco to ban circumcision? First, we don't let cities decide what medical procedures you can and cannot have. Imagine if you live in SF you can have a heart transplant, but Oakland decided that it wasn't worth it? Or maybe you can have a collapsed lung repaired in San Diego, but not in Anaheim because Mickey doesn't like people with collapsed lungs? Second, we have this little thing called the First Amendment. Now, I am not the brightest guy in the world but I think I learned about this in law school. Like, the government shall not make any law impeding the free expression of religion. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but there are several religions that require circumcision. By its never nature, its unconstitutional. It would be like a law that bans prayer on Sunday or wearing a cross. You are a douche. Not even a douchebag, but you are a full on douche. You are anti-Semitic and anti-smart. Yes, I called you dumb. Thankfully a Judge put an end to your idiocy.
Then there are people who just suck. These people never have anything nice to say about anything. Everything is bad or is going to suck or is going to fail. Really? Life is that miserable. Maybe you need to get your eyes checked. Its not that bad. You are alive. You probably have a roof over your head and food to eat. That puts you ahead of a fair number of the population. And you probably aren't mentally ill. Again, puts you ahead of a lot of people. So stop your freaking whining and figure out what is good in life. Or email me and I will try to make it clear for you. Clear?
I am sure there are more people who bug. As soon as I find them, I will let you know who they are.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
More on death
So I was talking to a friend today and he had a bad day yesterday. Then I come home and after the MLS All Star game, there is a brief segment on ESPN on athletes who have passed away in the last year. You know, the montage of photos along with some sappy song that I didn't know. And I watch the names go by and I think to myself that some of these folks are my age, some younger and quite a few older. Why?
Death is hard to explain. Not biologically. The brain stops, the heart stops beating and your body shuts down. Simple. Although, why does death happen fast for some and drag on for others? Take two people with a similar disease. One will die faster than the other. One may suffer, one may not. I don't know why and I don't think God does either. Maybe. Maybe there is some plan that makes sense, but I don't think so. What does someone learn from suffering? The person who dies doesn't learn because, after all, they are dead. The living? Maybe they learn that suffering sucks, but we know that already, don't we?
It is amazing how precious life is. How quickly it can go. And we all say "Live every day like its your last." Nickelback sang it better than I can write it. But, do we live it? Can we live it? Is it even possible?
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind.........I wish it was that easy. Fear is everywhere. It can be bad and cause people to freeze. We have all seen it. But it can also motivated people. Fear drives success sometimes. The fear of failure can be a powerful motivator.
Would you live each moment like your last........Its easier said than done. If I could live each moment like my last, it might actually be. I would tell people who are idiots that they are idiots. I would tell people who waste life that they are wasting it. Its not that attorneys think they are better than people. Well, some do. Those folks are jackasses. Its that they think what they do is so important. They get into arguments about who goes first. Really? Does it make a difference? Is it that important? Would you want to be judged because you had to absolutely go first? I think we taught our kids that its not important to go first. Heck, in baseball, you want to go LAST.
The problem is that we are so set in having to have it our way. We want life to be Burger King. Its not. And then it ends and when it ends, you realize not only is it not Burger King, it shouldn't be. Its not easy. Its not always fun. Sometimes it sucks. You don't always get your way.
But when you have a chance to do something good, you have to take it. Screw carpe diem, its more like carpe moment. Seize that one moment in time when you can change something or someone. I hate those Liberty Mutual commercials about responsibility. Its not responsibility that they are showing. Its this - seizing the moment. Someone drops a wallet, you don't pick it up because its the responsible thing to do. You pick it up because you want to help that person who dropped it and make their day a bit better. You stand up on the trolley when a woman gets on not because its the responsible thing to do, but because you want to help make her day better. It goes for old people, young people, rich people, poor people.
I see people saying that they won't help someone who asks for a dollar or a cup of coffee or some gas for their car. Really? There but for the grace of God, go I. Is that person always going to do the right thing with it? Nope. But does it matter? For that moment, you have helped someone. You made their day better, whether they buy a burger, buy a joint or give it to their kid to get a drink at school.
This is why God doesn't have a plan on whether people suffer. He doesn't care. We all have to experience death so we realize the joy of life. When someone suffers, it pisses us off. Trust me on this. Its hard when someone dies. Its harder when someone dies and suffers. But that doesn't effect the outcome: the person dies. The secondary outcome is that the survivors recognize the sanctity, not of life, but of helping others. We have been told from a young age that life is precious, fragile and should be cherished. But we haven't been told that living life really means seizing that moment - taking that chance. You may succeed, you may fail, but you have to take it and see what happens. You have to try, for not trying to seize the moment is worse than not realizing that life is precious.
Maybe I am crazy. I don't know. I do know this - life is valuable but a life lived without helping others seems to be lacking. You don't have to set the world on fire, but you do have to make a difference in one life. Being a millionaire, selling millions of records, having a tv show may make you a success in your own mind, but until you have made someone else's life better, you haven't really lived.
Don't confuse success with being successful. Don't confuse life with living.
Death is hard to explain. Not biologically. The brain stops, the heart stops beating and your body shuts down. Simple. Although, why does death happen fast for some and drag on for others? Take two people with a similar disease. One will die faster than the other. One may suffer, one may not. I don't know why and I don't think God does either. Maybe. Maybe there is some plan that makes sense, but I don't think so. What does someone learn from suffering? The person who dies doesn't learn because, after all, they are dead. The living? Maybe they learn that suffering sucks, but we know that already, don't we?
It is amazing how precious life is. How quickly it can go. And we all say "Live every day like its your last." Nickelback sang it better than I can write it. But, do we live it? Can we live it? Is it even possible?
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind.........I wish it was that easy. Fear is everywhere. It can be bad and cause people to freeze. We have all seen it. But it can also motivated people. Fear drives success sometimes. The fear of failure can be a powerful motivator.
Would you live each moment like your last........Its easier said than done. If I could live each moment like my last, it might actually be. I would tell people who are idiots that they are idiots. I would tell people who waste life that they are wasting it. Its not that attorneys think they are better than people. Well, some do. Those folks are jackasses. Its that they think what they do is so important. They get into arguments about who goes first. Really? Does it make a difference? Is it that important? Would you want to be judged because you had to absolutely go first? I think we taught our kids that its not important to go first. Heck, in baseball, you want to go LAST.
The problem is that we are so set in having to have it our way. We want life to be Burger King. Its not. And then it ends and when it ends, you realize not only is it not Burger King, it shouldn't be. Its not easy. Its not always fun. Sometimes it sucks. You don't always get your way.
But when you have a chance to do something good, you have to take it. Screw carpe diem, its more like carpe moment. Seize that one moment in time when you can change something or someone. I hate those Liberty Mutual commercials about responsibility. Its not responsibility that they are showing. Its this - seizing the moment. Someone drops a wallet, you don't pick it up because its the responsible thing to do. You pick it up because you want to help that person who dropped it and make their day a bit better. You stand up on the trolley when a woman gets on not because its the responsible thing to do, but because you want to help make her day better. It goes for old people, young people, rich people, poor people.
I see people saying that they won't help someone who asks for a dollar or a cup of coffee or some gas for their car. Really? There but for the grace of God, go I. Is that person always going to do the right thing with it? Nope. But does it matter? For that moment, you have helped someone. You made their day better, whether they buy a burger, buy a joint or give it to their kid to get a drink at school.
This is why God doesn't have a plan on whether people suffer. He doesn't care. We all have to experience death so we realize the joy of life. When someone suffers, it pisses us off. Trust me on this. Its hard when someone dies. Its harder when someone dies and suffers. But that doesn't effect the outcome: the person dies. The secondary outcome is that the survivors recognize the sanctity, not of life, but of helping others. We have been told from a young age that life is precious, fragile and should be cherished. But we haven't been told that living life really means seizing that moment - taking that chance. You may succeed, you may fail, but you have to take it and see what happens. You have to try, for not trying to seize the moment is worse than not realizing that life is precious.
Maybe I am crazy. I don't know. I do know this - life is valuable but a life lived without helping others seems to be lacking. You don't have to set the world on fire, but you do have to make a difference in one life. Being a millionaire, selling millions of records, having a tv show may make you a success in your own mind, but until you have made someone else's life better, you haven't really lived.
Don't confuse success with being successful. Don't confuse life with living.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
More on parenting
So I have been thinking about this for a few days. Mulling it over. No, not the fact that Tracy Morgan is a douchebag. This is a fact. Dude is a douchebag. I guess I have never really watched him before but he can barely put together a complete sentence. And he can't talk. Is that funny? Is mumbling funny now? If so, I am going to start talking without moving my mouth. I am sure my high school speech coach is going to love that. "himynameisjonandiamnotmovingmymouthwhenitalk."
In addition to mumbling, dude thinks its funny to make gay jokes. Sure it is. And then he is going to make fun of the mentally challenged. Yeah, mental illness is real fucking funny. How about if I start making fun of your skin? Or maybe I should make fun of your nose? Oh wait, not funny? I know. That is why I am not a douchebag. Only douchebags make fun of things about people that the people can't change. Race, religion, sexual orientation, mental illness. None of these are funny. Ever. And if you are a "professional comedian" you should be funny enough to make jokes without going to any of those. If you can't make jokes without going to these, then find a real job like the rest of us.
But that's not what has me annoyed today. I won't even get into people who are never freaking happy. Go away unhappy people. You blow. Big time. I was at the store the other day with my kids. Its me with my lack of hair, my translucent daughter and my very tan boys. We are a motley crew. I admit it.
I had to keep putting up with some guy giving me a look like I was Satan or something with my tan kids and my white skin. Yes, I know you dweeb - they don't look like me. And the more you look, the less they are going to look like me. I do appreciate when people try and try and try to make them look like me. "Did you have curly hair?" (My youngest son has curly hair.) No, I didn't. But thanks for asking. Staring at me is not going to make my boys look like me. Never. Ever.
I know this. They know this. Do you think staring at us is going to make someone feel better? Maybe it will make you feel better. I guess. If you are a loser. How exactly does this help anyone? Lets see - if I stare, maybe they will be so uncomfortable that they will leave. Sure. That is exactly it. You have me figured out.
Oh wait, no you don't. I am not going to leave because you are so uncomfortable with yourself that you are going to keep looking. Its one of the lamest, dumbest, most idiotic things you can do. Stare all you want, you piece of crap. I am not going to apologize for my kids looking like my kids. They are mine and I love them. If you don't like that, I would suggest you go crawl in a cave so we can blow up the entrance and not have to put up with your kind anymore.
I have always said there are very few things I will fight you over. One of them is my kids. So I would suggest in the future that you stop staring at them and mind your own fucking business, you waste of space in this great country of ours.
In addition to mumbling, dude thinks its funny to make gay jokes. Sure it is. And then he is going to make fun of the mentally challenged. Yeah, mental illness is real fucking funny. How about if I start making fun of your skin? Or maybe I should make fun of your nose? Oh wait, not funny? I know. That is why I am not a douchebag. Only douchebags make fun of things about people that the people can't change. Race, religion, sexual orientation, mental illness. None of these are funny. Ever. And if you are a "professional comedian" you should be funny enough to make jokes without going to any of those. If you can't make jokes without going to these, then find a real job like the rest of us.
But that's not what has me annoyed today. I won't even get into people who are never freaking happy. Go away unhappy people. You blow. Big time. I was at the store the other day with my kids. Its me with my lack of hair, my translucent daughter and my very tan boys. We are a motley crew. I admit it.
I had to keep putting up with some guy giving me a look like I was Satan or something with my tan kids and my white skin. Yes, I know you dweeb - they don't look like me. And the more you look, the less they are going to look like me. I do appreciate when people try and try and try to make them look like me. "Did you have curly hair?" (My youngest son has curly hair.) No, I didn't. But thanks for asking. Staring at me is not going to make my boys look like me. Never. Ever.
I know this. They know this. Do you think staring at us is going to make someone feel better? Maybe it will make you feel better. I guess. If you are a loser. How exactly does this help anyone? Lets see - if I stare, maybe they will be so uncomfortable that they will leave. Sure. That is exactly it. You have me figured out.
Oh wait, no you don't. I am not going to leave because you are so uncomfortable with yourself that you are going to keep looking. Its one of the lamest, dumbest, most idiotic things you can do. Stare all you want, you piece of crap. I am not going to apologize for my kids looking like my kids. They are mine and I love them. If you don't like that, I would suggest you go crawl in a cave so we can blow up the entrance and not have to put up with your kind anymore.
I have always said there are very few things I will fight you over. One of them is my kids. So I would suggest in the future that you stop staring at them and mind your own fucking business, you waste of space in this great country of ours.
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