So I am down in Los Angeles for a couple of days. We drive down and check in to the hotel. Simple enough. We check in and go up to our room. But there is a noise coming from outside loud enough that we can hear it on the 9th floor.
So we look down and see these folks in red t shirts chanting and someone on a megaphone. There are three helicopters above. We turn on the tv and the LAUSD teachers are having a protest. They apparetly don't want more students in their classrooms.
Now I understand teachers don't want to be overwhelmed. It is hard teaching with so many kids in one place. But in case the leaders of LAUSD missed it, WE ARE IN A RECESSION. The district has no more money for teachers. The kids need to be educated.
Oh, and those 20,000 people laid off last week would be more than happy to have a job. And your job gives benefits! Not everyone is that lucky and if you don't like it then quit. There is about 10 percent of the country that would just like any job. Be grateful you have a job. Sheesh.
Memo to those LAUSD teachers who were in the lounge at the hotel during the protest: at least your colleagues had the guts to stand on the streets and protest. You should be the first ones fired for your pretend support.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Burger King Guy
Can someone please explain the fascination Burger King has with its new mascot? I do not get it. The guy looks like Chester. Seriously. (Oh, for those who do not get it, Chester is shorthand for "Chester the Molester.")
The guy is scary looking. I know why kids like Ronald McDonald. He is a clown. Mayor McCheese is a guy with a funny looking cheeseburger head. And, according to an episode of Family Guy, he cannot get a head transplant because there is no blood running to his head! Grimace is cool too. Wendy from Wendy's I get. Red at Red Robin is sweet. Even Jack, who is now back, is funny and changes expressions.
But the "King" does not look nice. He does not look friendly. He has the same look on his face and it always says the same thing "Want some candy, little girl?" He may be getting chased by moms in a minivan and he looks like he wants to take their daughters to Prom. By the way, that is a felony in most states, except maybe Arkansas. He is acting like a peeping tom in one commercial.
Seriously, what is the deal? Who finds him funny? Why is he still employed? He should go the way of the "Where's the beef" lady, who at least was funny!
The guy is scary looking. I know why kids like Ronald McDonald. He is a clown. Mayor McCheese is a guy with a funny looking cheeseburger head. And, according to an episode of Family Guy, he cannot get a head transplant because there is no blood running to his head! Grimace is cool too. Wendy from Wendy's I get. Red at Red Robin is sweet. Even Jack, who is now back, is funny and changes expressions.
But the "King" does not look nice. He does not look friendly. He has the same look on his face and it always says the same thing "Want some candy, little girl?" He may be getting chased by moms in a minivan and he looks like he wants to take their daughters to Prom. By the way, that is a felony in most states, except maybe Arkansas. He is acting like a peeping tom in one commercial.
Seriously, what is the deal? Who finds him funny? Why is he still employed? He should go the way of the "Where's the beef" lady, who at least was funny!
The Worst Sales Call Ever
So I just received the worst sales call ever. The company shall remain nameless for now. So, the company has a website. I would call them an aggregator. Basically, they take results from Google, Yahoo, and MSN and put it all on their website. (Does anyone really use MSN anymore? Is it actually still a website.) So, the pitch is that I should advertise with them. Fair enough start, right?
He calls me up and tells me about his website. He gives me the URL. I go look at it and he starts telling me about how great the website is. I ask how many hits they get. He tells me the hits are up 200% in the last two weeks. Great. How many hits do they get? Well, it is up to 45,000. Okay, those are good numbers. How many are in California, since I can only represent people in California? He does not know. Apparently, they do not track it. Still no complaints so far.
He then asks me what my marketing budget is. I tell him it is nothing. He asks me what my SEO budget is. I again tell him nothing. He asks who does my SEO. I tell him no one. He asks if I do it. I say no. He is baffled, at this point.
Then he asks me to do a search on their website. Okay, so I am busy right now, but not too busy to spend a few minutes looking at this. Maybe it is the next Google. So I do the search. He starts telling me about how I can pay to have the first result on the search. Great, except I come up first. OOPS! So, he tells me to click the next button. I do and guess what? I come up first. So he tells me to click the 3rd button. I do. Oh, and I come up first again.
He then decides to do the search. He does it and sees the same results. He asks me if I would like to pay to be the first result. Um, I already am. He starts in to his spiel some more. I explain to him that I do not need this because I am one of the best at what I do. (DISCLAIMER: A national magazine said it - not me! I am just repeating it.) He tells me how I could get so many more clients if I use his service. I explain that I do not need that. He asks me why. I tell him again that I am one ofthe best at what I do. He tells me I still need him so I can get more clients and I should pay for those clients. UGH!
I then explain to him that this was the worst sales call ever. I hang up.
End of story.......
Oh wait, 10 minutes later he calls back and leaves me a voice mail message. Now, this is where I do not mind telling you that the company name rhymes with PeapDish (replace the first P with an L and the D with a F). His message: "Mr. XXX, I understand you think you are one of the best at what you do. I went online and read some of your articles and I disagree. I do not think you are. You are good, but I do not think you are the best. Your articles are not that good."
Excuse me? Some guy who apparently cannot sell fire to people in the dark and cold or water to the thirsty is going to argue with me over my credentials. Someone has hit too much of the rock, apparently.
By the way, memo to PeapDish: get a better sales team or those 45,000 hits are going to turn into zero when you close down.
He calls me up and tells me about his website. He gives me the URL. I go look at it and he starts telling me about how great the website is. I ask how many hits they get. He tells me the hits are up 200% in the last two weeks. Great. How many hits do they get? Well, it is up to 45,000. Okay, those are good numbers. How many are in California, since I can only represent people in California? He does not know. Apparently, they do not track it. Still no complaints so far.
He then asks me what my marketing budget is. I tell him it is nothing. He asks me what my SEO budget is. I again tell him nothing. He asks who does my SEO. I tell him no one. He asks if I do it. I say no. He is baffled, at this point.
Then he asks me to do a search on their website. Okay, so I am busy right now, but not too busy to spend a few minutes looking at this. Maybe it is the next Google. So I do the search. He starts telling me about how I can pay to have the first result on the search. Great, except I come up first. OOPS! So, he tells me to click the next button. I do and guess what? I come up first. So he tells me to click the 3rd button. I do. Oh, and I come up first again.
He then decides to do the search. He does it and sees the same results. He asks me if I would like to pay to be the first result. Um, I already am. He starts in to his spiel some more. I explain to him that I do not need this because I am one of the best at what I do. (DISCLAIMER: A national magazine said it - not me! I am just repeating it.) He tells me how I could get so many more clients if I use his service. I explain that I do not need that. He asks me why. I tell him again that I am one ofthe best at what I do. He tells me I still need him so I can get more clients and I should pay for those clients. UGH!
I then explain to him that this was the worst sales call ever. I hang up.
End of story.......
Oh wait, 10 minutes later he calls back and leaves me a voice mail message. Now, this is where I do not mind telling you that the company name rhymes with PeapDish (replace the first P with an L and the D with a F). His message: "Mr. XXX, I understand you think you are one of the best at what you do. I went online and read some of your articles and I disagree. I do not think you are. You are good, but I do not think you are the best. Your articles are not that good."
Excuse me? Some guy who apparently cannot sell fire to people in the dark and cold or water to the thirsty is going to argue with me over my credentials. Someone has hit too much of the rock, apparently.
By the way, memo to PeapDish: get a better sales team or those 45,000 hits are going to turn into zero when you close down.
Monday, January 26, 2009
License Plates
Okay, so I get the whole desire to have a personalized plate. I have one on my car. I had one on a prior car. But, one was about the car and one is for my wife. Very simple.
But some people think a license plate is an advertisement. They think they are trying to tell people something cool about themselves. Actually, one guy had "IM COOL." Really? Isn't being cool something that other people say about you? If you have to tell people you are cool, aren't you not cool?
It is not just men. It is also women. In fact, it may be mostly women. Women like the old standby "QT." That means "cutie," for those of you say 40 or over! It is usually something like "IMA QT" or "QT PIE" or something along those lines.
Okay, first, if you have to tell people you are cute, like telling them you are cool, you are not. Cute girls do not walk around telling everyone they are cute. We walk around telling them that they are cute!
Second, the girls who have this on their license plates: about the opposite of cute. It is not kind of cute. Sort of cute. It is not cute. It is like me having a license plate that says I am tall. I am as far from tall as the guy on "Little People, Big World." Okay, I am a bit closer to tall than they are.
Really, if I could sue them for false advertising, I would. I like to sue people, but they won't let me sue them for that. However, one of these days, someone should. Sorry, I digress.
Really, we should have a rule. If you want something on your license plate about you, you should have to get 10 random people to agree it is accurate. That would solve a lot of this. No more ugly women with QT license plates and no one with COOL anywhere near their license plate!
But some people think a license plate is an advertisement. They think they are trying to tell people something cool about themselves. Actually, one guy had "IM COOL." Really? Isn't being cool something that other people say about you? If you have to tell people you are cool, aren't you not cool?
It is not just men. It is also women. In fact, it may be mostly women. Women like the old standby "QT." That means "cutie," for those of you say 40 or over! It is usually something like "IMA QT" or "QT PIE" or something along those lines.
Okay, first, if you have to tell people you are cute, like telling them you are cool, you are not. Cute girls do not walk around telling everyone they are cute. We walk around telling them that they are cute!
Second, the girls who have this on their license plates: about the opposite of cute. It is not kind of cute. Sort of cute. It is not cute. It is like me having a license plate that says I am tall. I am as far from tall as the guy on "Little People, Big World." Okay, I am a bit closer to tall than they are.
Really, if I could sue them for false advertising, I would. I like to sue people, but they won't let me sue them for that. However, one of these days, someone should. Sorry, I digress.
Really, we should have a rule. If you want something on your license plate about you, you should have to get 10 random people to agree it is accurate. That would solve a lot of this. No more ugly women with QT license plates and no one with COOL anywhere near their license plate!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Blogging For Bucks
So someone emailed me today and asked why I don't blog more often. I have had something like 12 posts since I started this little project. Someone wanted more. Why isn't there more? More, more more.
Well, a simple reason or six. First, unlike a lot of "bloggers," I work for a living. And I have kids. And a wife. And dogs. And I like to get my exercise in. And this is just a hobby - a hobby that is about 12th on my list of things to do.
Second, unlike a lot of bloggers, I do not do this to make money. There are no ads (although they will come, if you ask for them). There are no affiliate links. There is no book deal. There is no movie deal or screenplay or anything else. This is more for my fun - and hopefully your enjoyment.
Third, I am not pretentious enough to think anyone is reading this. Heck, I am not pretentious enough to even use the word pretentious. Three people follow my blog. I know all of them. Two of them I am sure have better things to do. They are also a bit crazy. But, I do not have a ton of readers and do not need to make sure they are all happy. If they read it, great. If they get bored and don't, that is okay too.
Fourth, I don't like a lot of bloggers and don't want to be like them. I especially do not want to be like legal bloggers, who call themselves blawgers. I also do not want to be associated with barfers, b-bloggers (play on b-ball), blog-ettes, blauxggers (fake bloggers), or any other attempt to make blogger sound like something other than blogger. I think blogging should either be fun or your profession. I do it for fun. So, that differentiates me from most bloggers, many of whom take themselves much more seriously than I could ever take myself.
Okay, so there are only 4 reasons why I do not post more. But, I will. I promise. Be patient - and send me some topics!
Well, a simple reason or six. First, unlike a lot of "bloggers," I work for a living. And I have kids. And a wife. And dogs. And I like to get my exercise in. And this is just a hobby - a hobby that is about 12th on my list of things to do.
Second, unlike a lot of bloggers, I do not do this to make money. There are no ads (although they will come, if you ask for them). There are no affiliate links. There is no book deal. There is no movie deal or screenplay or anything else. This is more for my fun - and hopefully your enjoyment.
Third, I am not pretentious enough to think anyone is reading this. Heck, I am not pretentious enough to even use the word pretentious. Three people follow my blog. I know all of them. Two of them I am sure have better things to do. They are also a bit crazy. But, I do not have a ton of readers and do not need to make sure they are all happy. If they read it, great. If they get bored and don't, that is okay too.
Fourth, I don't like a lot of bloggers and don't want to be like them. I especially do not want to be like legal bloggers, who call themselves blawgers. I also do not want to be associated with barfers, b-bloggers (play on b-ball), blog-ettes, blauxggers (fake bloggers), or any other attempt to make blogger sound like something other than blogger. I think blogging should either be fun or your profession. I do it for fun. So, that differentiates me from most bloggers, many of whom take themselves much more seriously than I could ever take myself.
Okay, so there are only 4 reasons why I do not post more. But, I will. I promise. Be patient - and send me some topics!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Supermarket Help
Okay, I get it that the supermarket is a big place. You know, the neighborhood grocery store. I think I give away my East Coast background by calling it a supermarket. But, the term applies: it is a super, or really big, market.
So, some people go to the store and need some help taking their bags to the car. I get that. Grandma needs help. Mom with 2 kids needs help. Heck, mom with 1 kid might need help. The elderly gentleman who uses a cane needs help. I totally understand. My dad used to need help when he went to the store carrying out his bags.
But, the 30 year old guy who has nothing wrong with him can take out his own freaking bags. Really, it is not that hard. I do it all the time. And while this guy is bad, he is not the worst.
The 40 something softball player is the worst. Dude is clearly looking for help for 1 reason - he wants to hit on the 17 year old courtesy clerk. (Ignore for a minute the fact that courtesy clerk is a dumb term, but that is what they call him/her.) Yes, she may be cute. But she is 17. Really, do you need to impress her with your car or your truck or your baseball bat that badly? Do you think she cares? In reality, she just goes back to the store and laughs at you with the other clerks who you have flirted with before.
If you don't need help and just want to flirt with the girls, dont take the help. You are taking someone away from helping grandma. And if you want to flirt, stop. Yuck. Its disgusting!
So, some people go to the store and need some help taking their bags to the car. I get that. Grandma needs help. Mom with 2 kids needs help. Heck, mom with 1 kid might need help. The elderly gentleman who uses a cane needs help. I totally understand. My dad used to need help when he went to the store carrying out his bags.
But, the 30 year old guy who has nothing wrong with him can take out his own freaking bags. Really, it is not that hard. I do it all the time. And while this guy is bad, he is not the worst.
The 40 something softball player is the worst. Dude is clearly looking for help for 1 reason - he wants to hit on the 17 year old courtesy clerk. (Ignore for a minute the fact that courtesy clerk is a dumb term, but that is what they call him/her.) Yes, she may be cute. But she is 17. Really, do you need to impress her with your car or your truck or your baseball bat that badly? Do you think she cares? In reality, she just goes back to the store and laughs at you with the other clerks who you have flirted with before.
If you don't need help and just want to flirt with the girls, dont take the help. You are taking someone away from helping grandma. And if you want to flirt, stop. Yuck. Its disgusting!
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